No One Does It Better

I walked up the steps to my apartment slowly swinging my keys around my fingers. It was less than an hour ago that I said goodbye to Mike. I wasn’t sure how long it was going to be until I saw him again... It would be once I made up my mind. It could be tonight…It could be never.

He said time away from him will help me decide. Was I meant to be happier with him gone or would I just be miserable? God! How did I even end up in this situation?

I stepped into my bedroom dumping my bags on the floor. Everything was just how I left it. Jake was lying on the bed in front of me. He stood up from the bed practically running to hug me.

“Hi Jake.” I whispered taking in his scent as my head found its way to the crook of his neck.
“I’ve missed you.” He whispered back.
Jake moved out of the hug and pulled me into a kiss. The urge of longing and desire expelled from his lips. Our lips moved together fast and filled with passion but I couldn’t shake the voice in the back of my mind repeating the same thing ‘It’s not Mike…It’s not the same.’

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I sat up on my bed watching the light from under the door while Jake was in the shower. It was really good to be back here but there was something about Arizona that just didn’t feel like home…the way San Diego did.

My eyes wandered the room until they landed on my phone. Just one call… that wouldn’t hurt right? Just to make sure he got home okay. I shook my head, shaking all my stupid thoughts away. Mike was an asshole…wasn’t he?

Jake walked back into the room wearing nothing but a towel. My eyes moved up from his body to meet his eyes as he smiled at me.
“I just realised I never did ask you about how your sister is.” I thought out loud. Jake looked at me questionably before answering

“Oh, yeah... She’s doing fine now.” He said getting into bed.
“That’s good then.” I sighed.
Jake’s sister never did like me very much… I never knew why. I always thought it was possibly because I was taking her brother away from her.

Jake pulled me over to his side keeping his arm around me. I lay my head on his bare chest as I stared blankly at the ceiling.
“Hey Jake?” I questioned as a thought flew into my mind.
“Yeah?” he answered tiredly.
“Would you ever want to have kids? Not now obviously…but in the future…have you ever considered it?” I asked. Jake was silent for a minute.
“I… I don’t know. I mean people’s opinions change right? But at this moment I’m not ready for that type of thing. But I guess having one or two kids wouldn’t be so bad.” He answered awkwardly. I thought of myself having kids, the thought of one day being able to be the mother that I never had made me smile.
“I’m not ready for that either… but one day I think I would like to… you know… have a family.” I mumbled.
“The only person I would ever want to start a family with would be you.” Jake whispered before he left a kiss on my cheek.
I turned my attention back to the ceiling as I thought of having a family of my own. A smile crept onto my face as I thought of having a bunch of kids running around. A wider smile immersed as I thought of them running up to their dad… running up to Mike. He would be such a good dad. We used to always talk when we were younger about how we both wanted a big happy family and how we would be the coolest parents…
I really needed to stop letting these thoughts creep up.
I kept repeating ‘Mike is an asshole’ in my head over and over again.
This was getting out of hand.

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I hadn’t received any text messages from him in such a long time that I was kind of taken aback when I read the one I had got this morning asking to meet up for lunch. At first I thought maybe something bad had happened…not that I should care right? I was busy filling my mind with better things.

I slowly walked into the restaurant he had specified in the text message. The noise of chatter instantly deafened me as soon as I entered the doors. I hadn’t been here for at least 6 months… maybe more.

I scanned the room until I saw him sitting alone in a booth on his phone. I gradually made my way over to him sitting across the table from him.

“Hey Vic.” I spoke slightly blunt. He looked up from his phone, grinning widely as soon as he saw me.
“Hey Grover, long time no see huh!” He exclaimed forcing me to smile. I examined his face as he put away his phone, nothing seemed different with him…and that kind of scared me, everything had changed about me.
“How have you been?” I asked politely.
“I’ve been pretty good actually. Really busy.” He said. I watched him as he described all the things he has been doing. Their faces look so similar at times, the nose, the lips…but then again I was beginning to forget how Mike’s face looked.

I pulled my phone out from my lap as it beeped.
“Anyway… How have you been doing? “ Vic spoke. I looked down at my phone screen.

From Jake:
Happy 3 months beautiful x


I looked back up to meet Vic’s curious face.
“I’ve been doing really well believe it or not.” I declared as he raised one eyebrow from across the table.
“I don’t mean to be a downer, it’s great to hear you’re doing well…” Vic clarified “…but last time I saw you, you weren’t doing so great. What’s changed?” He asked interested. A small smile broke out across my face as I looked down at my lap.
“Ohhhh,” Vic sung after he understood. “How long you been together?”
“3 months today.” I spoke happily as Vic nodded his head.
“So you’re doing better with him?”
I thought quietly for a quick second before answering.
“I wouldn’t say better… but I’m happier now than I was after he left and that’s what really matter right?” I asked not entirely sure that I was correct.
“Right!” Vic exclaimed surely, nodding his head. “That’s exactly what he wanted.” He mumbled to himself quietly. I looked away pretending I didn’t her what he said.

God damn it. I knew coming here would bring up things that I thought I’d past.