Goody Two-Shoes

Walking into the hospital room drove a stake through my heart. My fathers eyes were closed and he had a breathing mask on, machines all hooked up to him, he looked weak, frail. Only a fifty year old man, he looked like he was in his eighties. His hair line was receding, his skin had become bagging and he looked tired. A lot changed in six years I guess.

“Mommy,” Rori whispered from beside me, “I'm scared.” I looked down at her with sad eyes.

“It's okay Rori,” My throat was tight and I slowly walked forward.

“Dad...” I whispered, lifting my hand to grasp his. His eyes slowly opened and his big brown eyes met mine, they were still as bright as I remembered, my father had always been full of life. Even know in his weakest state of mind.

“Ashton,” he lifted his mask off and sat up, looking at me with tear filled eyes. “Ashton, my god it is you.” I nodded, now wanting to blink back tears. He pulled me forward into a hug, grasping me tightly.

“Daddy, I'm so sorry.” I broke down into tears, my relationship with my mother might have been fucked up but not with my dad, I was angry with him but I still loved him.

“Shhh Ashton, it's not your fault.” He pulled away and spotted the little girl by my side.

“My granddaughter?” He pointed at the little girl and he burst into tears, “I'm so sorry Ashton, she didn't tell me, that bitch didn't tell me. I went looking for you, for months.” I was surprised by my Dad's insult of my mother. So she didn't tell him the truth than.

“Rori, I want you to meet your grandpa.” I said softly, picking the little girl up and placing her by the bed. She looked a little scared but smiled a big smile.

“Hi Grandpa!” She seemed excited to meet him, I felt bad that Rori wasn't like the rest of the kids who had loving grandparents, that give her the coolest toys at Christmas.

“Dad, this is my daughter Aurora.”

“Aurora, that's a beautiful name.” Rori hugged him tight, Rori always had the best hug and I watched as my father broke down again. Rori stayed by his side and I sat down, grabbing his hand.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better since you got here,” I smiled at him before looking down at my feet. “Your mother and I are separated...” My eyes widened and I looked at him. His eyes turned towards the window. “She told me about a year ago, I was threatening her with a divorce and she spilled the beans. She knew where you were this whole time Ash and she refused to tell me because it was the only way to get me to stay with her.” I felt my throat tighten and I nodded, I knew my mother knew where I was, I wasn't stupid. She had called a couple of times these last six years, maybe once or twice, just to make sure I was alive but never asked me to come home. Not once.

“It's okay Daddy.”

“No it's not!” He bellowed, “I should have been there! If I would have known, you know damn well I would have let you stay but your mother she...she just-”

“She's not my mother Dad.” He looked at me and gave me sad eyes.

“I know Ashton but we did raise you.” I nodded, turning to look out the window.

“I heard rumors as to why you left. Something about that Adam kid-” I cringed and shook my head. “Is Adam her fa-”

“Yeah but please, not around her.” Rori looked between the two of us, not liking that she was left out.

“What did he do to you Ash?”

“I said not around her Dad.” He nodded and turned his head back to the ceiling.

“Did he-?”

“Yeah.” I said, knowing exactly what he was asking. Did Adam rape me.

“Than Bam was right. Ryan and Bam went after him one night, Phil and I had to practically pull them off. They almost killed him Ash, he ended up in the hospital for weeks. Ryan and Bam go into so much trouble.”

“That's not my problem.”

“I suppose your right.” A silence filled the room, other than the soft sound of the TV in the background and the beeping from the heart monitor. Rori was staring at the TV with intense eyes. “How long are you staying?”

“I only planned on staying tonight, I have work and I need the money.”

“No you don't,” I looked at my dad surprised. “I don't know how much longer I have but all my money is going to you Ash. Every single penny. I reworked my will when they told me I only had a few weeks to live.”

“Dad....” I felt hot tears burn my eyes again and I grasped his hand tighter.

“I wanted you to have it, Rori deserves a better life than we gave you.”

“My life was fine Dadd-”

“Yeah, we did a great job now that I'm finally meeting my six year old granddaughter for the first time.” I looked down, now feeling a little guilty.

“It wasn't your fault Dad.”

“Well maybe if you felt like you could have came to me it would have changed things.”

“It wouldn't have changed anything Daddy,” He looked at me with sad eyes and gripped my hand tighter.

“I'm so happy I could see you again.” I nodded, my throat tightening again as tears threaten to spill. “This was my biggest regret, not being there for you.” I offered a sad smile, my eyes staring down at the ground, “but that's going to change now, you don't have to do it by yourself anymore, you shouldn't have had to.”

“Thank you Daddy.” He laid back and he looked up at the ceiling, Rori let out a yawn and my father smiled.

“You should take her back, she needs her sleep.” I nodded, blinking away the tears that had been forming.

“We'll stay for a couple of days Daddy, I'll be back in the morning okay?” He nodded and I leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. Rori gave her grandfather a tight hug and than jumped down.

“Ashton,” I stopped just as I got to the door, turning to look back at my Dad. “I love you.” I smiled and nodded my head.

“I love you too Dad.” He smiled and laid back, I grabbed Rori's hand and just as we were about to exit the constant beeping that monitored his heart rate turned to one still beep. I whirled around, the next couple of seconds became hectic, mostly a blur of emotion.

I ran to my Dad, screaming, tears pouring down my face. I was begging for help, nurses, doctors came running in pushing me back. I grabbed Rori, kneeling down in the corner and held her back to my body, almost as if to hide myself from the tragedy before me. I was balling, begging for them to save him, the nurses tried to usher me out but I refused to leave. I was yelling for my dad, begging him to come back but he was gone.

The room fell silent, other than the still sound of my Dad's no existent heartbeat. The doctor came over to me, knelled down in front of myself and my daughter.

“I am so sorry but there was nothing we could do.” Rori turned around and was now crying into my shoulder, I held her to me as tight as possible, bawling into her shoulder. “I will go inform his wife.” I didn't say anything, we just sat there for a couple of minutes, my dead eyes staring down my Dad with tear pouring down my cheeks. Regret was bubbling inside of me, I should have came home earlier, he just met his granddaughter and now he was gone. He never had the chance to even read her a story or hold one of the beautiful pictures she had drawn in his hands and it was all my fault.

My mother and April arrived 15 minutes later, my mother rushed to his side, grabbing his hand and holding it to her face, tears streaming down her face. April noticed me in the corner rocking back and forth with Rori in my lap. She walked over to me and sat down by me, pulling my daughter and I into a tight embrace.

“I watched him die April. He's gone.” I gasped, trying to breath through the tears.

“Come on honey, lets get you out of here.” April helped me up, I pulled Rori into my arms holding her tight. She put her hand on the small of my back, pushing me out the door. We made it outside and I put Rori down, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of my purse, I pulled the cancer stick to my lips and lit it, taking a nice long drag of it.

“When did you start smoking Ash?” April asked and I watched Rori go and sit on the small brick wall beside the doors, her eyes glued to the ground, her small hands going to whip her face of her now dried tears.

“To be honest, I haven't had a cigarette in a good year, but I always keep a pack on me.” April nodded and after I was halfway done with the cigarette I put it out and went over to Rori.

“You okay?” I asked, she nodded, not looking at me. “Come on honey, it's okay.” I lifted my hand, putting it under her chin and making her look at me.

“It's sad.” Rori had tears streaming down her face again and I pulled her into another tight embrace. “I know baby, were going to stay a little while okay?” I pulled away from her and she nodded. I brought my hand to her face and cleaned the tears from them. “Come on now, you are too beautiful to cry.” She gave me a sad smile and nodded her head.

“Why don't you two come over to my house, I'll make the two of you some dinner.”

“Thank you so much April, that would be nice.” She smiled and I picked up Rori into my arms.

She asked me to follow her since she moved and I climbed into my car, I felt stupid in this junker while April was driving a brand new car but I figured she wasn't judging me. She pulled up to a huge house and I knew I should have been surprised but I was.

Just because Bam, Ryan and I weren't friends anymore, didn't mean I didn't know about their success with Jackass. The first time I watched the movie and I saw Bam and Ryan, I practically screamed. Leave it to them doing a bunch of dumb stunts, tormenting April and Phil for money.

They WOULD get famous doing shit like that.

Watching those movies made me miss them, the crazy hectic life I had with them....but no matter how much I missed this place, I can't ever have this life back. It's gone now. Besides I don't have time to miss this life.

There's no point in dwelling in the past, even if it is better than the present.

I got out of my car and April waited for me by the door.

“Since your staying for a little while, you should take some time to see Bam and Ryan. I can call them now and have them come over now if you want-”

“No April, that's okay. I didn't really plan on seeing them anyway.” April looked at me confused before she unlocked the front door and welcomed me in.

“Why don't you want to see them Ashton?”

“It's a long story Ape. I just want to stay, help my mother with the funeral plans and go home, forget all about this. I don't really want to see everyone again.” April frowned, I followed her into their kitchen and placed Rori on one of the chairs at the counter, sitting in the one next to her. The two of us watching April as she cooked. Rori was practically falling asleep on the counter after our first ten minutes of us being there. It was starting to get late, past her bed time at least.

“She's beautiful,” April stated, looking over at the two of us from her place at the stove. “She looks so much like you.”

“Yeah, I don't know what I would do without her. I tell ya she definitely makes everything a lot easier.”

“How old is she?” April asked, looking up at me for a split second.

“Six.” April dropped the spoon that was in her hand, her head shooting up to look at me.

“Wait you mean? Oh god, she isn't Bam's is she?!”

“No, no, April. She's not Bam's.” April held her heart with her hand. I laughed a little, shaking my head at her.

“Good, it's just her eyes, they are like.......” April paused, offering me a smile, “I can not handle another Bam.” I laughed and looked at Rori who was now asleep. April was right, she did have those beautiful big blue eyes that reminded me of Bam. I felt bad that she had to go through all this today. “Whose is she? Oh my god, she's not...Adam, oh god.” I nodded, looking at April with a frown. “Oh my god, Ashton, Bam told me but....I didn't think-”

“That I got pregnant? Yeah, I was shocked when I found out too, I wanted to hide it but...my mom, she found out, she kicked me out and I skipped town.”

“Why didn't you come here?” April looked upset, probably mad that I didn't come to her. April was my second mom but at the time going to her wasn't an option, partly because I was embarrassed over the situation and partly because I didn't want to see Bam.

“Because I was pissed at Bam,” I stated, watching April cook with ease, I missed her cooking, I could never match her skills, even though I tried so hard to feed Rori nice home cooked meals everyday..

“What did he do?” I shook my head, letting her know it wasn't important. “Does Adam know about her?”

“No, I skipped town before anyone could find out.”

“If you don't mind me asking....why did you keep her?” I bit my lip, frowning a bit.

“I know what it's like to not know your real parents, I didn't want that to happen to her. It's been hell April, but I will never put a child through what I went through. She doesn't know her father but as long as she has me, I think it'll be okay.” April walked away from the food, engulfing me in a tight hug.

“I am so proud of you honey.” I smiled, like I said, April was the mother I had always wanted. She pulled back, going back to tend to the food, before she made myself and Rori a plate. I woke Rori to eat and we both inhaled our food. Rori went into the living room to rest on the couch and April and I spoke some more.

“I thought about coming back a couple of times, I kept telling myself it was too soon. I just didn't want to see everyone again, not with a baby in my arms.” I laughed a little, not sure how it was I could actually be happy at a time like this.

“Bam and Ryan were so worried. A few days after you disappeared, you father came stomping into our house, screaming at us. He thought Bam and Ryan were hiding you from him, but when they realized you were missing, all hell broke loose for at least a month. Ryan was over every night, we all searched for weeks. The worst was when Bam and Ryan went for Adam, someone had told Bam that Adam slept with you and Bam went for him, Ryan right by his side. God, no matter how hard we tried, we could not pull them off Adam.” April's hand was on her forehead, she was chuckling a bit at the memory even though at the time I'm sure she was freaking out. “Bam blamed himself for so long Ash.” I laughed, looking down at the cup of milk in my hands.

“I blamed Bam for a long time too.” I stated, bringing the glass to my lips and taking a nice drink.

“Ashton, what happened that night?” I placed the glass down on the granite counter top and looked up at April, a frown playing in my laps.

“It doesn't matter anymore Ape, it's been six years, what happened in the past isn't important anymore.” I stood up, dusting off the crumbs in my lap. I walked over to Rori, who was sleeping on the couch. I knelled onto the ground, bringing my hand to brush her brown hair from her eyes. She looked so soft and peaceful asleep. “I should take her back,” I looked at April and offered a sad smile. “Thank's again Ape.” She nodded and I pushed my arms under Rori, lifting her up and carrying her toward the door. April opened the door for me, giving me a quick hug and muttering a goodbye.

“Do me a favor April...” I stopped once I was on the porch, turning around to face her. She cocked her head to the side in questioning. “Don't tell Bam I'm here.” The frown returned to her lips, she went to protest but I cut her off. “Please?”

She sighed, rubbing her head with her hand. She didn't like it but April was way to nice to say no. “Yeah but you should really see him.”

I ignored her statement and walked toward my car, placing Rori in the back seat, I backed out of the Margera drive way and made my way back to the motel.

It had been a long day.