Miserably Loving You

**Gabriella's POV**
**almost two months after the incident outside the bar**
I've spent the last two years of my life working at the bar during the week and taking photos around the city and hanging with Ashton and Kathy on the weekends. Here in this moment I'm 22. I have some big decisions to make. That horrible night keeps replaying in my head. It's right next to the reminder of how things with went Mr. Young and then the guys outside the bar. I don't think I'll ever forget how Mr. Young hurt me for life. He broke me down and made me realize how much I hate love and how badly I'll make sure I never let myself fall in love. I'll never believe in it. Do I keep this baby? Do I get rid of it? How could I love something when it came into this world through horrible pretenses. I can't afford it. They cut the pay at the bar last week because of some debt. I'm lucky I still have a job still after having to miss so much due to morning sickness. A big part me thinks abortion is the answer but coming from a person who has always been against it her entire life I just don't think I could. I need to get my mind of things. Maybe I'll do a quick Starbucks run and then head to the park to take some photos.
Walking down the street iced coffee in one hand and my phone in the other checking my messages from Ashton. I was too busy trying to figure out what Ashton meant when he said that him and Kathy were fighting about me again to notice I was about to run into someone. Putting my phone away reminding myself to deal with it later I bumped into someone. "I am so sorry!", I exclaimed. “It’s alright, I should have watched out,” he replied. Looking up I am met with the most beautiful eyes. From that point I can't help but notice his tanned muscles. It wasn't long before I spoke. “Shit, I spilled some coffee on you,” I looking at him apologetically. “It’s okay. Don’t worry.” he answered wiping away some of the beverage that was spilt on his jacket. I can't believe I was that stupid and spilled my drink all over him and not to mention the fact that it had to be someone cute. “I am really, really sorry.” I said with a tense feeling filling me. “Listen. It’s really no big deal. How about I make it up to you and we can go to Starbucks? ”, he said. He's cute but I can't. I can't get involved with someone. EVER. “No I really shouldn’t.” , I said looking around for a reason to escape. “I insist. I kinda need some company. I’m not from here you see and I’m actually kind of lost and I have no clue where to go.” he replied looking deep into my brown eyes. Turning my head a bit letting my hair cover my face partly a smile forming on my lips I reply. “If you insist. But I’m kinda on a tight schedule,” she half-smiled. “Sweet, I’m Zack by the way,” he introduced himself as we started to walk. “I’m Gabby,” I answered shyly. Gabby? I never let anyone call me gabby but Ashton and Kathy. To everyone else I'm Gabriella. “I like that name.” he said complimenting me. “Thanks,” I said looking at the ground.
I can't believe I bumped into such a nice guy who seemed to be about 23 with tanned muscles and brown hair. He had a smile that seemed like it was one of a kind yet his beautiful eyes told you he was stressed and afraid maybe even upset about something. I was so busy in my thoughts I hadn't noticed we were at Starbucks. I quickly ordered my iced coffee. I wasn't about to let him pay for my drink when I spilled it on him in the first place because I wasn't looking. “Here,” I said giving him some money. He paid for both are drinks despite my protests.I grab my drink, “You shouldn’t have, I owe you” “It’s okay, you don’t owe anything,” he said flashing me his smile.
After we had our drinks we decided to sit down instead of walk around we sat in complete silence for a few minutes when Zack began to speak. “So Gabby, you live in New York?” Looking him in the eyes I said, “Yeah, where you from?” I could stare at his eyes all day. They captivated me. “Maryland, My friend and I came here for a conference, workshop thing.” he answered. “Ah.. So you’re like a businessman?” I said. He's definitely not my type. I prefer a laid back sort of guy. OMG! What am I saying. Why would I even be thinking about him like that I just met him. Maybe instead of being afraid he's just plain stressed those businessmen do get stressed a lot. “Well to one extent yes I am. I’m a photographer. My friend and I opened a studio a couple of years ago.” He explained. HE LOVES PHOTOGRAPHY. If I actually believed in love and could fall in it he'd be it. Tearing myself from my thoughts I reply, "Oh, That sounds interesting. I’ve always loved photography. I took some courses, but I don’t think I could ever be a professional.” I laugh softly.
A small smile formed on Zack's lips. “Yes you could be, anything is possible,” he said reaching out to touch my hand. I jumped at his touch. He was making me really uncomfortable all of a sudden. Him holding my hand reminded me of Mr. Young. It reminded me of those guys outside the bar and all the other horrible things that's happened in my life while part of it reminded me of how gentle it was like my fathers touch, like Ashtons hugs. “Are you okay,” he asked “Yeah, yeah… just thinking,” I said. “Are you sure, you don’t look good,” “I’m fine.” I replied. “Sorry, I don’t mean to interfere or anything,” he said quickly. “No worries.” I said accidentally sounded a bit annoyed. I didn't mean to sound like that I'm just not used to somebody asking things like that and sounding truly concerned. “Maybe you could show me around New York. Or we can go to the famous Central Park and Work on some photography,” he suggested. “Uhm… Can we uhm… can we go tomorrow. I have to go soon,” I mumbled.
Somehow through all of this I had made a decision. I was getting rid of this thing and never looking back. I didn't want to have to answer questions about it. I didn't want people to look down on me for what happened or to fill sorry for me. I just wanted the baby gone. “Sure whenever you’re free. My friend Jack and I go back home next Tuesday.” he responded. “Uhm… I’m going to go to the washroom. I’ll be right back.” I said getting up.
Washing my hands and looking at the time I decide that it's better if I get back out to Zack and then head home. I have some phone calls to make. Sitting back down at the table Zack hands me a piece of paper. “Here’s my number. Call me or text me whenever.” he told me. “Thank you" I smiled. I can't believe he just gave me his number. I can't decide if I'm happy or scared shitless. “We can meet tomorrow,” We got up and started to leave. he opened the door for me, and we walked into the busy streets of New York. “I’ll text you then when we can meet,” I informed him before we parted.
Getting home I check my answering machine to see it blinking with a message. I quickly look up a few numbers leaving message untouched on the machine knowing it's Ashton and hoping the problem with Ashton and Kathy will have itself sorted out by then. Dialing the number I hear 3 rings and then. "hello, This is the city Clinic how may I help you?" I could barely answer but I knew what I had to do. "I'd like to schedule an abortion for tomorrow afternoon or evening", I said. I could then hear some clicking and typing how does 5pm tomorrow sound? "Great!" I said. Giving her my name and information I hung up with a huge weight feeling like it was off my shoulder. For my second to last call. Ashton. Once I dialed him he answered almost immidiately. "Where were you? I've been calling you all afternoon." "I was out dealing with a few things and getting some Starbucks." I spat. I don't understand why he treats me like a little child. "Why did you insist on leaving 30 messages for me?" He let out a loud sigh. "Me and Kathy got in a fight again because I suggested having you double date with us and her cousin next week. She said you'd say no and that since you don't believe in love you'd rather not subject yourself to a boring date where the guy feels like he has to call you again and you feel like you have to answer even if you don't really want to" I start to laugh, laughing so hard that I can't control myself. "Ashton, you know she's right. Why did you even suggested it. I'm getting off the line go apologize right now." "Bye!" I said.
Hanging up the phone I dig in my pocket. Once I feel the paper within my fingers I pull it out. Grabbing my cell phone instead of the house phone I slowly begin to dial the number. A rush of panic taking over me I quickly hang up and opt for a quick text.
Me: Hi! This is Gabby just thought I'd text you to see what time you are free tomorrow if you still wanted to go that is.
Zack: Hey! Glad you texted me didn't think you would text or call me I'd love to still hang out. I'm free after 10 so how about 10:30.
Me: oh okay. Didn't want to force you to hang out with me if you didn't want to.
Zack: I was the one who asked you to hang out tomorrow in the first place because I liked hanging out with you today ;)
Is he flirting with me. I hope not. I don't want to lead him on.
Zack: Did I make you uncomfortable again.
I really hope he doesn't think tomorrow is a date.
*incoming call Zack*
"Hey" "How come you stopped texting me?", he questioned. "sorry I was wrapped up in my thoughts" "What about", he spoke. "A lot of things. Let's just see how tomorrow goes and maybe I'll tell you.", I joked. "After you stopped texting me I figured you didn't want to hang out." he said. "I never said that. I told you I would hang out and I don't go back on my words" He laughed."Well okay then." We then talked about tomorrow. We talked about today. Zack then said, " I have to go though Jack is bugging me. Meet me at 10:30 outside the same Starbucks we went to earlier. Bring your camera stuff." We both hung up after a few more words were exchanged.

Looking at the clock shaking my head. It's already 8. I hadn't realized I had been on the phone texting and talking to Zack for an hour and a half. Getting up of the couch I grab some pajamas and head towards the shower. Once I'm done I plug in my phone noticing a Thank You sent from Ashton and a Goodnight sent from Zack. Texting Zack goodnight I fall into bed. I small smile on my lips. Today has been one of the best days I've had in awhile. It all happened because I spilled coffee on a guy. A great guy.