Escaping the Inevitable

My dad finished his entire cigarette. He smoked it down to the filter and then some. He tossed it, keeping his eyes adverted out the window.

It was quiet, neighborhood dogs barking and chirps of birds. My dad wouldn't speak and it was driving me nuts. I wanted to curse just to get an emotion out of him beside this... Fake sadness. Was it really fake or was it real? I couldn't tell.

"Dad, c'mon, answer me." I finally muttered.

He looked over at me, "I love her with my entire being Joey. I love her more than you know. Do you know how long I have?"

I nodded, "16 years."

He sighed, "Don't ever think I don't love her. She... We just... Fuck, I don't know."

"Don't know what? It's hard to even tell you like her, so it's hard to believe you love her as much as you say you do." I felt emotion overwhelm me, "You yell at her everyday, or when you're in the same room with her, you snap at her if she says one little thing to me or Wolf or Dani, and you sleep on the couch or somewhere else for the night! Do you know she cries herself to sleep, and do you know who hears her? We do, Dani especially."

My dad looked at me with swollen, tear filled eyes, "Her room is right next to ours." He said quietly.

"Exactly." I muttered, "If you love my mom as much as you say you do, then stop making her suffer. Because when she suffers, we all suffer."

"What are you asking of me exactly, Joey?"

"Get a divorce or get some marriage counseling." I told him. 

I felt too grown up having this conversation. I actually felt myself age. I felt like I was growing up too fast.

"Why do you worry about this so much?"

I looked at him incredulously, "Dad, I can't eat, I can barely sleep without one of my siblings beside me. I'm so sick of this."

He sat up, placing his hands on the steering wheel, "Okay, Joey, I'll really talk to your mom."

I swallowed thickly, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me." He uttered.

I leaned back as he started the car back up and started to drive. He drove down the street to the liquor store, then parked again. We got out the car and went inside.

My dad followed me to get a soda, then to the counter, "You gotta share with Wolf and Dani."

"I know." I said.

A woman behind us giggled. It was one of those obnoxious giggles the moms from school gave me when they find out who I am. My dad sensed it, I mentally groaned, hoping the line in front of us would move quick.

"Are you Frank Iero?" She asked finally.

My dad looked back, "Yeah, I am."

God, he smiled at her. He was flirting with her.

"I love your band. My aunt got me into you guys. Sucks your married."

I narrowed my eyes, finally looking at her, "No it isn't." I spat at her.

Her smiled dropped, "Oh, your son... Right?"

My dad cleared his throat, "Yo, Joey, apologize."

I looked at him, "No."

My dad sucked his teeth, "Sorry about my kid, he's a teenager."

"I get it. I'm 19, I went through the same thing, hating the world." She giggled again like she was a total ditz, "It's cool."

The line move and I pulled my dad's arm as we got to the register. My dad seemed confused, but I put my soda on the counter, "Marlboro reds." I said to the male cashier.

He raised his brow at me, "ID, son."

"It's for my old man." I nudged my dad, "I'll be in the car." I said to him before leaving him at the counter.

I got into the car and crossed my arm, feeling angry. After what he just said, he had the nerve to flirt with that stupid girl, she isn't even a woman yet! She's a stupid teenage girl!

I seethed in my head until my dad got in the car. He set my soda in my lap, "Joey, what the fuck is with the attitude? You were really rude, and especially to a fan. What did I tell you--"

I shot a glare at him, "After all we talked about you still had the nerve to flirt with that girl! Why do you cheat on my mom?!"

His jaw slacked a moment. He didn't have an excuse for what I asked. He didn't even want to say the truth. I didn't even know the truth. I don't think I wanted to know.

"How do you--"

I cut him off, "You guys yell. We know about you sleeping around, dad, it isn't a huge secret." I felt myself wanting to cry, "I don't get it. My mom is beautiful, you used to say so yourself. What, is she ugly to you now?"

My dad shook his head, "You don't understand, Joey."

"Well, help me understand."

"No, you're just a kid."

"I'm a teenager, you said so yourself. I know about sex, I'm not the idiot you think I am. I used to hear you guys do it all the time, why do you think I asked for a stereo when I was 9?"

My dad looked at me with a disbelief look. He shook his head then started to laugh. He laughed hard, confusing me.

"I told her! I told Sunny that's why you wanted that stereo! She didn't believe me, wait until I tell her this!" He laughed still.

I frowned, "Dad, I'm serious."

He calmed down, "Yeah, yeah, I know." He grinned still, "But, you have to know that this is hilarious to me, Joe. Me and your mom argued about it for weeks when you begged for a stereo for your birthday. She never believed me, man!"

I rolled my eyes, "Geez, I'm no idiot, and I'm not deaf either. You guys are lucky Wolf and Dani sleep like rocks."

My dad still chuckled, "I'm sorry about that."

"I don't care, at least then, I knew you guys loved each other."

All laughter stopped. He licked his lips, "I get it, Joe. I'll really talk to her, alright? I promise."

"And stop cheating on her."

He sighed, "I already stopped a long time ago."

"Good, now you should start really loving her."

"I'll try... In due time, buddy."