I Like The Way It Sounds

As if he knew that I was thinking about him, Garrett called me. The screen lit up with a picture of the two of us at my going away party last summer; I was sitting on his lap on a lawn chair in the O'Callaghan's backyard. It was a great picture, we were both smiling and our faces were illuminated by a fire pit that crackled next to us - it was cozy and familiar, just like Gare.

Char noticed the caller ID and took it as her cue to leave. She replaced the food to its rightful place and walked out of the apartment, waving silently to me as she left.

Once she was gone, I looked nervously at the phone. I didn’t want to tell him about Tom, but he’d be able to know something was up… I really hated to lie to him, but his relationship with his girlfriend Jessie was so perfect that I didn’t want to look like his pathetic friend with bad luck in relationships. I just wanted to be Caite; not someone who needed to be pitied. But, still, the phone rang and I needed to answer it.

“Hello!” I said with forced enthusiasm.
“Hey, Caits! Is everything okay?” Ugh, he already knows.
“Um… yea. Why do you ask?” (In which I attempt to avoid his question.)
“Well, Jenny called John and he keeps threatening to kill some “punk ass” and your name was thrown into the mix. Did something happen with Tom? Did he hurt you? Are you okay?” All of this rushed out of his mouth in one breath, but each question expressed the urgency in his voice. He was really concerned, especially at the thought of a guy hurting me. He’d practically spat Toms name into the receiver. How could I lie to him? I really didn’t want to admit that Tom cheated on my though… I paused before answering, finding my words.

“CAITLIN! Are you alright?” My silence was only worrying him more, and as I listened I could hear John yelling into his own phone in the background. No wonder Gare thought I was dying or something; John was pissed.

“Uh-huh,” I squeaked, still finding my words, “I’m great. There was just some confusion over prom with Tom and I was nervous before, so I called my Aunt. No biggie.” I attempted a breathless laugh, but failed. I really hope he believed me. He didn’t, “Why would your Aunt call John over that?” – He was suspicious. “No clue, maybe Shane broke something again? The kid can be a bit of a “punk ass” sometimes – he takes after our “punk” older brother with a non-existent ass.” I joked, hoping to change the subject by bringing up an observation made my fans – John, in fact, has no ass.

He finally seemed to believe that I was fine and allowed our conversation to move on, we spent another 20 minutes on the phone discussing their tour and the fact that we’d get to hang out all the next weekend until he explained that they’d gotten back to their hotel and he was going to sleep. We said our goodbyes and I hung up with a sigh. He’d find out soon enough, but hopefully by then it wouldn’t be a big deal – I’d be able to play it off nonchalantly. I was looking at the picture of us on the screen before it faded away with the ended call when a text from John popped up.

J: Why didn’t you tell him?

He obviously already knew, and the last thing I needed was the entirety of The Maine defending me from a loser ex-boyfriend who didn’t give a shit about me. I had to tell him to keep quiet, even though it was only because I was embarrassed.

C: Don’t say anything. – NOT TO ANYONE. It’s dumb. Just drop it, John.
J: Fine, but if I see him when we visit, I’m kicking his ass. I need to perform my brotherly duties.
C: I’m serious – It’s not a big deal.
J: Yea, that’s why you called Mom crying…

Really John? Doesn’t “drop it” mean that I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT? I didn’t answer at first, and he seemed to get it.

J: Sorry. I’ll stop – but not before you tell my why Garrett can’t know. He knows everything else… ever.
C: It’s embarrassing! He and Jessie have a perfect relationship and Tom dumped me a week before prom. He wouldn’t understand.
J: He’d understand better than you think.

What does that mean? I didn’t bother responding, I just walked into the bathroom and into a beautiful, steamy shower. I couldn’t think about any of this anymore.