Unforgettable Charm

It’d been a week since I had given Josh that advice, and it had also been a week since I heard from him. I didn’t know what was going on and frankly, I don’t even think I cared. If he wasn’t going to bother with texting me, then I wouldn’t bother texting him. I hated being the first one to text, so I just didn’t bother. He was so confusing, I don’t even know what to think anymore. We’re the best of friends one minute, then the next he isn’t speaking to me.

But today we were going to have to see each other. Today we had to do a photo shoot, which included Dianna, Logan, Josh and myself. Dianna already knew what had happened between Josh and I, and she knew everything that had happened since; and she was just as confused as I was. She told me that all of this didn’t sound like Josh at all; that he really was a sweet and caring guy. I knew that he was, but he was acting really different towards me and I didn’t know what I should do.

I knew that I was going to act like nothing happened, and that nothing was wrong. I know, I know, it sounds dumb. But, that’s all I could think of to do. I can’t just go up to Josh and be like ‘Hey, what’s going on with us?’. I definitely couldn’t do that while everyone was there, I didn’t want Logan to know what was going on. I hadn’t clued him in on what had happened. He was already upset with me before about Josh, I didn’t want to upset him again. I know it wasn’t right to keep this from him, even though we had agreed to be friends, but I knew that if I told him he would be hurt. So I thought the best thing to do was to keep him out of anything that involved Josh and I.

I was already at the shoot and I had just finished hair and makeup. I was wearing a white sundress that stopped a few inches above my knee, with a slight v-cut at the neck line, showing a slight bit of cleavage. I needed to pull myself together and try not to let my nerves get the best of me. I knew Josh was out there, everyone was, we were all doing individual shots first and then doing ones in groups, and I was told I would getting my individual shots done last. I had to go out there, and I was going to act like I was okay, which I was, sort of.

I stepped out into the photo shoot and saw that Logan had just gotten done and it was my turn. Dianna and Josh were sitting in chairs next to each other joking around and laughing at one another, no one had noticed me yet.

“Does anyone know if Katie is done with hair and makeup?” The photographer shouted to no one in particular.

“Here she is!” One of the assistants ushered me towards the photographer, and that was when everyone noticed me.

“Katie!” Dianna shouted happily. She immediately got up and came over and gave me a hug. “You alright?” She whispered to me.

“I’m perfect,” I said smiling as I pulled away.

“Katie!” Logan shouted coming over to me. He picked me and spun me around hugging me. “I’ve missed you!” He said as he set me down.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you to,” I replied truthfully.

“Hey Katie,” I heard Josh’s voice and I looked over. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt with blue jeans, which of course he looked amazing in.

I gave the best smile I could, “Josh! Hey!”

If he was feeling awkward at all, he definitely wasn’t showing it. He leaned in and gave me a small hug, he was about t say something else until the photographer spoke up. “Are you good to go, Katie?”

“Yep.” I excused myself and got onto the small stage they had set up, I hadn’t even noticed that the photographer was Luke, whom had done my first photo shoot. “Oh it’s you,” I said happily to him.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he said chuckling.

Luke was fairly young, he looked around his mid twenties. He had a thin build, but under his blue t-shirt you could make out his muscles. His brown hair was cut short, and his blue eyes were hidden behind thick black framed glasses. Needless to say, he was attractive.

“It’s good to see you again,” I told him truthfully.

“Thank you, and it is very good to see you as well, Katie,” he said, adding a wink at the end. I chuckled at his comment, and then he proceeded to tell me what he wanted me to do. “Basically, just give me some of those cute smiles of yours, and do what comes naturally.” It wasn’t much direction, but I did what I could.

To start off I gave him a few big smiles, then I proceeded to blow him kisses, which he apparently loved. I started spinning around with my arms in the air, laughing as I did, and just having fun. Then look stopped taking photos and he took what looked like a flower off of the stool and headed towards me.

“Here,” he said as he handed t to me.

“A daisy? How did you know I liked daisies?” I asked surprised.

“Lucky guess,” he said giving me a small smile. “But I want you to pose with it.”

“Pose? With A daisy?”

“Yeah, don’t worry you’ll be fine,” he said rubbing my arm gently. With one more smile he went back down and took his camera in his hands. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

I started off with facing the camera and bringing the daisy up to my nose and shutting my eyes and smelling it, and I heard Luke snap a few photos.

“Turn to your left and do the same thing,” Luke told me, so I did. Next I decided to put the flower behind my ear and face the camera and bend over smiling, as if I was laughing at something. “Perfect!” Luke shouted at me. “Katie, spin around again, first with the slower in your ear, then with it in one hand.” I did both of things and throughout I could hear Luke snapping dozens of pictures. Once he was done he came back up to me.

“How’d I do?” I asked him.

“You were fantastic,” he told me grinning.

“Thanks,” I said happily. “So, why did you have me pose with a daisy?” I asked, curiously.

“Well, to me, a daisy, symbolizes optimism, innocence, and beauty. Which are all qualities that I know you have. I knew I wanted to add something extra to your photos, and I thought of the kind of person that you are, which were those three things, therefore, the daisy,” he told me grinning.

“Oh, I didn’t know I had left such an impression last time you saw me,” I said chuckling lightly.

“You did,” he said simply. I could feel a blush come across my cheeks and I could tell he had noticed by the smirk he now possessed. “Seems like I make a bit of an impression on you as well.”

Were we flirting?

I didn’t exactly know what to say that, so I merely let out a giggle and looked down at my flower that I was still holding. I heard him let out a small laugh, “I’ll stop making you feel uncomfortable now,: he said laughing. “Alright everyone, come on up.”

Dianna, Logan and Josh all got out of their seats and got on the small stage with me as Luke went back down.

“Was he flirting with you?” Dianna asked, rather loudly might I add.

“Um, I don’t know,” I said laughing nervously. I looked over at Josh and Logan and they were talking amongst themselves, not paying Dianna and I any attention.

Luke had told us what he wanted us to do so now we were all standing together just posing with another, smiling at each other, laughing, doing anything to make things look natural. For the next few shots Dianna did a few with each other in which we were giving each other hugs and smiling at the camera, jumping up and down and holding hands and spinning around in circles. Next I did that with Logan, an then their was Josh. With Josh our poses were a little different. For a few I had to jump on his back and we smiled at the camera and laughed with each other, and we held hands and just pretended to play around.

Their was no awkwardness, no tension, as if nothing had ever happened between us. That’s how I wanted things to be, but at the same time, I also just wanted him to show me something, show me that he cared about what had happened between us. Showed me that he was feeling something, but their was nothing. So maybe this meant he really didn’t care about me in that way. I know I wanted to act like nothing had happened, but was it wrong to want to have it both ways? For me to be the one who didn’t seem like anything was wrong, and Josh the one who was worrying about his relationship with me?

Like when Luke supposedly flirting with me, I kind of would’ve liked to see Josh, maybe angry. Or upset, just something to show me that I meant anything to him. But of course, that wasn’t going to happen. I was the girl, I’m the one who was supposed to freak out about everything, to analyze every single moment of the day.

At the end of the shoot Luke had approached me. “You know Katie, you really are a natural.”

“Oh, thanks, Luke.”

At that moment he took out a card from his back pocket, “Here, if you’re ever looking for a photographer for anything, this is my card,” he said handing it to me. “And also, on the back is my cell, in case you ever want to get together sometime or something,” he said smiling at me.

“Oh, great, yeah maybe I’ll take you up on that sometime,” I said smiling back at him.

“Great, so, I’ll see you around,” he told me.

“Yeah, definitely.”

He gave me one last smile then got off stage and started packing up his things and talking to his assistants. Dianna ran up to me quickly grinning.

“He gave you his number, didn't he?”

I laughed over her obvious joy, “Yeah, he did.”

Dianna let out a squeal, “I knew it! It was obvious he had a thing for you, after all, I didn’t get a flower,” she said as she pretended to pout.

I let out another laugh, “He was just being friendly, he offered to just hang out, he didn’t propose.”

“So? He’s young, he’s successful, and he’s attractive, go for it,” she told me.

“I don’t know,’ I said, I couldn’t sop the glance I sent over to Josh, who was talking with his manager.

“Katie, come on. You said it yourself, you would focus on your career but that if another guy came along you would give him a chance. Well, give him a chance.”

“I mean, I could, but what about…you know,” I gave a slight nod over in Josh’s direction.

“I don’t know, Katie. I mean,” she stepped closer and lowered her voice. “He is seeing someone, but he does have to have some type of feelings for you since he kissed you. But you know what they say, men always want what they can’t have.”

“Wait, are you saying I should start hanging out with Luke to make him jealous?” I definitely didn’t expect that answer from her considering she’s been rooting for Josh from the start.

“All I’m saying is, I think you should let loose a little and think about the possibility of letting a guy into your life. You’re young, you’re beautiful, let someone spoil you and have a good time. And if you-know-who gets a little jealous, so be it. He had his chance, it’s your turn to be happy. You deserve it, I know you’ve been working hard, let yourself go out with a guy, go on a few dates, and if it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out. But don’t just brush off guys just because you’re waiting on one guy to give you a chance. At least you can say you tried, theirs no harm in that.”

She made a good point. I shouldn’t give other guys the cold shoulder just because I was waiting on Josh to tell me how he felt about me. He was already dating someone, why shouldn’t I do the same? I could go out, have fun, and relax a little. I won’t lie, it would be nice to have a guy that actually admitted to me that he liked me. Was it so wrong of me to want that? She was right, I should give Luke a chance, he seemed like he was a nice guy, so why shouldn‘t I go for it? And if I realized I wasn’t ready to start seeing someone then I would end it, no harm done, at least I could say I tried.

So, why not?