I Lied When I Said I Didn't Love You
Revisiting The Past Is Dangerous
After a measly couple of hours of sleep I was forced by Tre to get up. By forced, I mean he started screaming every version of my name into my ear, stole my blanket and pillow and started jumping up and down on the end of my bed singing “Oh I DO like to be by the SEASIDE!”
“Oh I DO like to be by the SEASIDE!” Tre sang for the seventeenth time, bouncing dangerously close to my legs. I quickly wriggled away.
I’d had Tre jump on my legs before. I couldn’t walk for four days afterwards.
I yawned, sitting up and rubbing my bleary eyes. A single thought was running through my sleep-starved brain.
Coffee.
Need coffee.
Now!
Without my coffee, I turned into a complete bitch. According to Billie, anyway. But then again Billie once told me that if I swallowed watermelon seeds a watermelon plant would grow in my stomach until I exploded. After Tre heard that piece of information he banned all watermelons from the apartment.
“A’right, Imma gettin’ up,” I said thickly, crawling off the bed. I forgot about the law of gravity, until I hit the floor.
”ARGH!” I yelled, causing Billie to run in with a comb stuck in his fur- I mean hair.
“WHAT? Who's being killed? Where?” he screamed. I rolled my eyes. Tre looked at Billie in shock.
“Somebody’s getting killed? OH NO! Call the police!!”
Billie and I both stared at Tre.
“No one is getting killed, dumb ass,” I snorted.
“Are you sure? Do you swear it on your life?”
“No. But if you don’t shut up, you’ll be the one getting killed.”
“But then you would die because you swore it on your life! HA!”
“ I didn’t swear anything, oh retarded one.”
“Oh yeah- I mean… UH OH!”
Tre quickly scurried out the room. Billie and I laughed, falling down on the bed.
“I swear, he gets stupider every day,” Billie giggled.
“I HEARD THAT!” Tre yelled from the kitchen. “FINE! I won't make you breakfast!”
“Okay. Remember, forks do not go in the toaster,” I called, standing up.
“I KNOW THAT!”
“Sure you do, Tre, sure you do.”
Tre bounded into the room, leaping on my back and attacking me with a spatula. I ducked as it nearly hit me in the eye. When Tre had a spatula, you’d better watch out. He was lethal with it. And I’m serious about that.
“BILLIE! I need help!"
Billie shrugged. He went to pull the comb out his fur- I mean hair. Except it didn’t move. Billie tried again.
It was stuck.
“Mike! Tre! My comb’s stuck in my hair!” he said, frantically trying to get it out. Tre and I stopped fighting to chuckle at him.
“Are you going to help me, or do I have to ring your necks?” Billie asked, putting his hands on his hips. Tre jumped forward, tugging mightily on the comb.
“OUCH!” Billie screamed, putting a hand to his head and swatting Tre away.
“Okay, looks like that didn’t work. I vote I give Billie a haircut!” Tre volunteered, taking a pair of scissors out of his pocket. Why he had a pair of scissors that close to his genitals I don’t know.
“NO! You are not cutting my hair! EVER!” Billie protested.
We still remembered when he tried to cut his girlfriend’s hair. Not a pretty sight.
“Just one little snip,” Tre muttered, sticking his tongue out the corner of his mouth as he moved the scissors closer to Billie’s head.
I quickly snatched the scissors, my hand going over the sharp edge. I winced as it slashed my hand, leaving a cut bubbling with crimson blood. Something inside me went calm as I watched it bleed.
Just like old times.
“Shit! You’re bleeding!” Billie said, taking my hand and examining it under the light. I didn’t answer.
I was thinking. Revisiting those times when I would sit in the bathroom, razor in one hand- Stop it! Cutting is bad! Bad!
I shook my head, trying to get rid of this feeling. It was like being underwater. I needed to break the surface.
“Hmm… that needs some antiseptic on it,” Tre commented. Billie threw him a sideways glance.
“Then go get some.”
Tre hurried into the bathroom, muttering something about Billie being so lazy he got someone else to wipe his ass.
Or something like that.
I felt Billie press something over the wound, taking my hand between his as he tried to stop the blood flow.
“Didn’t anyone tell you that you don’t hold it by the sharp end?” he remarked, looking into my eyes. I stared into them, drowning in the greenness. It was like grass- no, better then grass! Two emeralds, glinting at me from his face. I snapped my self out of it.
No need to go back there.
I’d only just escaped.
“Oh I DO like to be by the SEASIDE!” Tre sang for the seventeenth time, bouncing dangerously close to my legs. I quickly wriggled away.
I’d had Tre jump on my legs before. I couldn’t walk for four days afterwards.
I yawned, sitting up and rubbing my bleary eyes. A single thought was running through my sleep-starved brain.
Coffee.
Need coffee.
Now!
Without my coffee, I turned into a complete bitch. According to Billie, anyway. But then again Billie once told me that if I swallowed watermelon seeds a watermelon plant would grow in my stomach until I exploded. After Tre heard that piece of information he banned all watermelons from the apartment.
“A’right, Imma gettin’ up,” I said thickly, crawling off the bed. I forgot about the law of gravity, until I hit the floor.
”ARGH!” I yelled, causing Billie to run in with a comb stuck in his fur- I mean hair.
“WHAT? Who's being killed? Where?” he screamed. I rolled my eyes. Tre looked at Billie in shock.
“Somebody’s getting killed? OH NO! Call the police!!”
Billie and I both stared at Tre.
“No one is getting killed, dumb ass,” I snorted.
“Are you sure? Do you swear it on your life?”
“No. But if you don’t shut up, you’ll be the one getting killed.”
“But then you would die because you swore it on your life! HA!”
“ I didn’t swear anything, oh retarded one.”
“Oh yeah- I mean… UH OH!”
Tre quickly scurried out the room. Billie and I laughed, falling down on the bed.
“I swear, he gets stupider every day,” Billie giggled.
“I HEARD THAT!” Tre yelled from the kitchen. “FINE! I won't make you breakfast!”
“Okay. Remember, forks do not go in the toaster,” I called, standing up.
“I KNOW THAT!”
“Sure you do, Tre, sure you do.”
Tre bounded into the room, leaping on my back and attacking me with a spatula. I ducked as it nearly hit me in the eye. When Tre had a spatula, you’d better watch out. He was lethal with it. And I’m serious about that.
“BILLIE! I need help!"
Billie shrugged. He went to pull the comb out his fur- I mean hair. Except it didn’t move. Billie tried again.
It was stuck.
“Mike! Tre! My comb’s stuck in my hair!” he said, frantically trying to get it out. Tre and I stopped fighting to chuckle at him.
“Are you going to help me, or do I have to ring your necks?” Billie asked, putting his hands on his hips. Tre jumped forward, tugging mightily on the comb.
“OUCH!” Billie screamed, putting a hand to his head and swatting Tre away.
“Okay, looks like that didn’t work. I vote I give Billie a haircut!” Tre volunteered, taking a pair of scissors out of his pocket. Why he had a pair of scissors that close to his genitals I don’t know.
“NO! You are not cutting my hair! EVER!” Billie protested.
We still remembered when he tried to cut his girlfriend’s hair. Not a pretty sight.
“Just one little snip,” Tre muttered, sticking his tongue out the corner of his mouth as he moved the scissors closer to Billie’s head.
I quickly snatched the scissors, my hand going over the sharp edge. I winced as it slashed my hand, leaving a cut bubbling with crimson blood. Something inside me went calm as I watched it bleed.
Just like old times.
“Shit! You’re bleeding!” Billie said, taking my hand and examining it under the light. I didn’t answer.
I was thinking. Revisiting those times when I would sit in the bathroom, razor in one hand- Stop it! Cutting is bad! Bad!
I shook my head, trying to get rid of this feeling. It was like being underwater. I needed to break the surface.
“Hmm… that needs some antiseptic on it,” Tre commented. Billie threw him a sideways glance.
“Then go get some.”
Tre hurried into the bathroom, muttering something about Billie being so lazy he got someone else to wipe his ass.
Or something like that.
I felt Billie press something over the wound, taking my hand between his as he tried to stop the blood flow.
“Didn’t anyone tell you that you don’t hold it by the sharp end?” he remarked, looking into my eyes. I stared into them, drowning in the greenness. It was like grass- no, better then grass! Two emeralds, glinting at me from his face. I snapped my self out of it.
No need to go back there.
I’d only just escaped.