Stay with Me

I was woken up with the fear that I might not see again, my eyes were puffy and dry, sticky tears prevents my eye lids to part, I needed to take it off with my hands before I managed to see, the walls are intact again, it's not spinning like it did last night-or this morning- you're pathetic, I said to myself. I looked around to find John's alarm clock, and shocked when I saw that I've been sleeping for more than 12 hours. I have manage to put my bra and pants on, before checking myself in the bathroom. As I was expecting, my eyes were puffy, red and messy, I had to wash my face thrice just to take off the dry tears left in my eyes. My cheeks were flushed, that's new, and my lower lip was bruised due to all the biting I did this morning. My neck has one red hickey that I have to cover with my hair before I went out of John's room. I heard everybody was on the porch talking about something that I don't care. I went to the kitchen to make coffee before going out in a state like this.

"What happened to you?" Jared's voice was full of concern and curiosity, I saw John's smirk vanished and Lacy went up to me and hug me, without even knowing the reason why I had puffy eyes.

"Can we uhm go?" I asked Jared, not even looking at Garrett's direction. Too afraid to look at his expression. Too afraid to might not see concern, or care. Jared was up in his seat in a second, everyone's eyes was on me, and Jared squatted infront of me. Asking me to ride his back. I didn't even manage to smile, I just rested my head on his shoulder while he walk us, Lacy following us with Jared's key on hand, to his car he squatted again as Lacy opened the back door for me to hopped in the car. I keep my knees on my chest as I stare at the window facing the porch, where everybody was still staring at me. Now, I have manage to look at Garrett, he's looking at his lap, he stood up and went inside the house. Kennedy and John following him. Jared started the ignition and drove fast to home. Why do I look like such a mess, it's disgusting.

-GARRETT'S POV-

I felt bad about leaving Nike last night, we've almost had sex. I have broken the law of the brocode. I just left a girl in pre-sex. Anyways, I don't care about the rule anymore, I know that she wasn't ready and I will wait. That's how good boyfriends survive right? She won't even remember a thing of what happened last night, she's drunk as fuck. The boys invited me to the porch in the afternoon, to enjoy the nice weather. We talked about a lot of stuff, usually about touring, that, again I felt bad about that one too. But I shrug off the feeling, I waited for my girl to go out and went for my arms, asking me what happened last night and I won't tell her a thing, everything will be as smooth as it was. I smiled at the thought and managed to be in a conversation with Joel.

"What happened to you?" I heard Jared said and like a reflex I saw my girl, Nike, standing there looking at her cousin alone. Her bed hair is all over the place, cheeks flushed and eyes puffy. She's been crying. I told myself. Assuring myself that she'll look at me any minute now, and hug me, I keep on telling myself that I didn't do this to her. How could I? She was drunk last night right? I saw her move without grace and jumped on Jared's back, he carried her in his car, with his girlfriend in tow. I did this to her, I just know it. She didn't even looked at me once. My eyes dropped to my knees as felt the pang of guilt jolt through my joints. Does she thought I just rejected her? But I didn't! I want her, I want her so bad, it's not just the right time. I stood up, everyone's eyes were still on her, and I just can't stand it. I made the only girl (next to my mom) I cared for cry. Nice to go boyfriend, you'll make it to the stupid-awards.

I sat in the living room, putting my head on my hands, feeling the pressure and guilt of what I just did. John and Kennedy followed me, and sat across me.

"What happened bro?" Kenny asked, his voice full of concern. I don't know if I should tell this to them, I know Nike's been friends with them for a while now but talking about our sex life behind her back will make me feel more guilty.

"We won't judge. Nike is like our sister Gar, tell us." John said, as if reading my mind, he is right, they treat her like their little sister.

"Well, you know how drunk she is last night?" I asked, they both nodded and waited for me to talk more, John rested his chin on his hands while Kennedy was calm on his position.

"Well, we kinda almost had...sex." I said, observing their reaction. Their eyes went wide and Kennedy even covered his mouth dramatically.

"We don't want to hear the details but what happened to her?" Kenny asked, gawking at me.

"Almost? Why almost?" John added, like a reflex, I scratch the back of my head and I want to bang my head on something.

"She's drunk John, it thought it won't matter..." I said, biting my nails.

"Well, apparently she's not drunk enough." Kennedy said, it's true. I'm so stupid, I feel so stupid.

"So, how did you just stop midsex?!" John asked. Kennedy and I gave him a glare and that shut him up.

"I think I need to talk to her..." I said, John threw a pillow at me and glare at me this time.

"You don't think, you act. Now, go you butterfly..." He said, dragging me outside. I ignored the stares, and went to Nike and Jared's apartment thinking that everything will be fine. 3 knocks before Jared opened the door.

"Hey man, any idea what happened to her?" He asked, as we both sit in the couch, should I tell him? I think best not. The guy is obsess in the big brother act. We just waited in silence, for hours, I didn't move a muscle.

-NIKE'S POV-

I left my phone in the living room, as I locked my door and hugged Vader, she keep on licking my hand, and I don't mind at all. It felt good, like she understand me. You know what's scarier than losing someone you love in an accident? Knowing that you might lose one right under your nose. I stayed in bed ignoring the random knocks asking me for dinner. I have no idea what time it is, I just went out when my stomach rumbles. For my surprise, I saw Garrett's body slump in the couch, Vader enthusiastically went up to him and he ignored her, he's eyes were on me. I tried to ignore the pang of pain I felt on my chest and went to Jared's room. He was lying face down.

"Jared why is Garrett here?" I asked, his face went up to look at me, with a confuse expression.

"He went by this afternoon. I thought you want to talk to him"

"Well you're wrong." I said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Jared went out of the room, and for a moment I heard shouting, screaming, and Vader barking. My heart beats faster as I chewed on my lower lip, I waited for Jared to join me in his room.

"Jared, I think I'm hungry..." I said as I saw the door opening to find not Jared, but Garrett standing in the doorway. My whole body froze. I had the urge to wrap myself in another layer of cloth, embarrass that he might see something. I did managed to move when he started to walk closer, I move backwards until I bumped my back to the wall, I sat there on Jared's bed, my back on the wall, wrapping my arms to my knees.

"I'm sorry" he started as he sit on the edge of the bed. I didn't dare to look at him. Is this the part where he'll say the words, 'it didn't work out'? 'I thought I love you?' 'I just can't do it with you?' My mind was filled with unanswered question, as he gave out a deep sigh.

"I shouldn't have done that." He added, I snorted, I actually snorted, telling myself me too. I shouldn't have done that I feel so stupid.

"Are you done?" I asked, hugging my knees tighter.

"Look at me, hey look at me" he said moving closer, my body cringed when his skin touched mine, his hands cupped my face just so I can look into his eyes.

"What?!" I spat, swating his hands, I honestly want to hug him and make up, but at the same time I just want to hate him. "Well I thought you like me, like I like you. Okay, I just thought...." I blurted out, as I heard my tone shaking.

"Wait, we are not in mutual understanding here..." He started.

"I bet"

"No, how can you say that I don't like you?! I care about you more than anything in this world Nike!" He said, voice frustrated. I gave him a confuse look. He had a guts to reject me and then tell me he care for me?

"You rejected me! You just stopped! How do you expect me to react? 'Oh wow he walked out on me in a middle of a make out session maybe he really really likes me. Nothing to worry, no big deal!'" I snapped, every word with a thick sarcasm.

"I left because it's wrong!" He snapped back, rubbing his thumbs on his forehead

"Oh so apparently making out with your girlfriend is a sin now, okay let's go to vegas and wrap this thing out"

"The sarcasm is getting on my nerves" he replied. Oh so he can get be pissed and I can't?

"Yeah? Well, excuse me Mr. Right for being so-"

"I know you're mad, but please listen god dammit" he said, interrupting my line.

"You don't......you have no idea how I want you Nike, last night..." He trailed off, trying to explain.

"I AM CONFUSE" I screamed, I heard Vader barked outside. "You want me but you just walked out when.... Don't tell me about the holy spirit possessing your body and telling you premarital sex is a sin, please don't. I might burn the fucking church" I added, breathing heavily.

"It would have been your first" he said quietly, he's right. My first, and I would have wanted it to be with him, I want to tell him that. I want to tell him that I trust him and I want him.

"What's your point?!" I asked instead, looking at him. I want to hit him so bad.

"I don't want it to be like that, you were drunk...." He said, well not drunk enough I guess. "I want your first to be special, not like that..." He added, shaking his head. I just stared at his blue eyes, full of sincerity. There was silence around us, no one talked for a long time.

"Special my ass, I thought it was perfect."

"It's like I'm taking advantage of you..."

"But you're not, I am aware." I replied, chewing on my lips.

"I didn't know, you just lay down on top of me motionless..." He said, his cheeks went red and so is mine.

"I was....tired" I said giving up my sarcastic façade. Garrett chuckled and shook his head.

"We're going on tour soon..." He said, I look at him "a week before band practice" he added, offering me a smile the warm, gooey feeling I have in my chest replaced the pain I felt earlier.

"I am sorry for everything, making you cry, hurting you, everything." he said again, opening his arms so I can collapse there, and I did. I lunged to him. Resting my head on his chest. My hands traveled on Jared's bed looking for something, as soon as I found Jared's magazine that he keep under the bed I hit Garrett's head. He pulled away from the hug and yelped.

"What was that for?" He asked, holding his head and looking at the magazine.

"I just have to.." I replied, smiling for the first time. He smiled too..

"Do you feel better now?" He asked, I shook my head and throw the magazine in his face, making him jump.

"Now I'm okay." I said, chuckling to myself. I don't quiet understand how he can just abandon sex that easily. I felt bad the whole day and all he can say is that he wants my first to be special? I am praying to every god out there that he's not gay. Please for the love of all holy, I promise to go to church next sunday, just don't make my boyfriend gay.

"You're impossible" he said opening the door for me, hiding a grin. Jared was looking at us with a confuse look.

"You good?" He asked me, I nodded and smiled at him. So Garrett and I are good? Just like that? Yeah? Okay I think so too. God forbid anyone who do that again to me. I sat in between Jared and Garrett as we all watch tv and eat pizza my eyes still puffy for crying about absolutely nothing. Love has made me nuts. Wait, did I said love?