Fix Me

The girl walked along the streets, pulling long drags from her cigarette and relishing in the looks she got. She loved when people looked at her, even if they were judgmental. Her long, bright red hair swayed back and forth behind her as she walked. Her black jacket was short and revealed a bit of skin before her ripped black skinny jeans interrupted it. Her eyes were outlined in thick black pencil. She was trouble, personified.
She stomped out her cigarette under one of her stilettos and kept walking, thrusting her hands into her pockets. The air was getting colder and it was only a matter of time before the clouds spit snow onto everything.
She walked past a small café that she’d never bothered to go into. But this time she stopped and took a few steps back to look in the window. The girl at the counter looked familiar, and it only took a few more seconds for it to sink in. She was the girl Josh was head over heels for.
Trying not to look suspicious, Bree loitered outside the café for a minute or two more, trying to decide on her next move. She didn’t really want to talk to the girl, or have to pay for anything, but she had made a deal with that Ramsay kid. And he’d more than lived up to his side of the bargain…
Composing herself, she pushed open the door to the small café and bells tinkled warmly to signal her arrival. She walked up to the counter and waited behind a middle-aged woman who seemed to be ordering one of everything. Bree didn’t mind the long wait though; it gave her more time to think about what she was going to say.
Finally, the customer before her moved out of the way and Bree stepped forward.
Kali smiled at the new customer and Bree saw a small glimpse of what Josh saw in the girl. Other than that, she looked fairly plain and even a bit drab to Bree.
“Hello,” Kali said softly, “what can I get for you?”
“Your name’s Kali, right?” Bree asked, trying to make it seem like she recognized her in a friendly way.
“Um, yes, it is,” Kali said awkwardly. “Do I know you?”
“No, but I know your friend…Josh?” Bree smiled innocently.
Kali’s eyes reflected a small amount of pain and then surprise. “Oh, right. How do you know him?”
“Oh, friend of a friend sort of thing,” Bree waved her hand passively. “I’m Bree, by the way. Anyway, he talks about you constantly. He showed me a picture of you once and, well, I never forget a stunning face.”
Kali blushed softly and her eyes sparkled. “Thank you. Does he really talk about me…?”
“All the time. You’d think he’d exhaust the subject eventually but no.” Bree laughed. She eyed the blackboard menu absentmindedly.
“I see.” Kali nodded.
“Say, have you ever done anything with that boy? I mean, you seem pretty close to him and all.” Bree winked at Kali so she caught the hint.
“Huh? Oh! No, no, definitely not. Why? Did he say we did?” Kali felt the heat rushing to her face again.
“No, I was just curious.” Bree shrugged. She folded her arms over her chest before continuing. “You should give him a try sometime; he’s amazing in bed.”
Kali choked and coughed a couple times at the girls’ words.
“Um…wow…”
“That’s what I said. I didn’t think anyone could give me the big ‘O’ that many times in one night, but he proved me wrong.” Bree nodded slowly in fond remembrance.
“That’s…nice,” Kali didn’t like this conversation anymore. “So have you decided on an order yet?”
“Hm, I’ll have a cupcake mocha to go, please.” Bree shrugged, rifling through her worn wallet. When she’d paid Kali for her drink, she spoke again, “That boy is a wild card, you know. He’s completely crazy, especially when he…parties. Listen though, whatever you’re mad at him for right now, I think you should let it go and give him another chance. He really cares about you.”
Kali laughed. “Did he pay you to say that or something?” She slid Bree’s drink across to her.
“No, he didn’t,” Bree answered, taking a small sip, “but him moaning your name instead of mine was a pretty good indication. Bye, now.”
Kali just stared, dumbfounded, at Bree’s retreating form.

“And I can’t find my breath…can we just say the rest with no sound? And I know this isn’t enough, I still don’t measure up…and I’m not prepared; sorry is never there when you need it…”
Josh chewed on the end of his pen as he tried to scribe a new song. He’d been up all night, unable to capture sleep. He’d realized that since he’d fallen so unceremoniously into the drug world, sleep had eluded him more and more often. He didn’t always mind though. Some nights it gave him great inspiration when it was just him and his accursed thoughts.
“…You’d be good to me…I’d be so good to you.” he sung softly. It was hard trying to fit all his emotions from the previous night’s events into one song.
Interrupting him mid-lyric, his phone went off. With a scowl he flipped it open and answered it. “What?” he grumbled.
“Don’t be so grumpy, I just did you a huge favour, lover-boy.” It was Bree.
“Bree?” he asked. “What do you mean? What favour?”
“You girl…Kali’s her name? I just had a lovely conversation with her in that adorable café.” Bree smiled. She had him right where she wanted him.
“You talked to Kali?” Josh’s voice rose. This couldn’t be good.
“I set her up, all you have to do is knock her down,” Bree responded. “You, my friend, are welcome.”
“Bree, what did you just do?” Josh demanded.
There was nothing but a chuckle and then the line went dead. Josh cursed and threw his phone onto his bed. Great, he thought, if there was any chance of her forgiving me it’s gone now. He pulled his fingers through his hair, trying his best to figure out what to do. Where do I go from here?
Suddenly, there was a knock on his front door. He was already pissed off and anxious, so whoever was knocking on his damn door was in for an earful.
Josh ran up the stairs, tripping halfway and hitting his knee hard. “F*ck!” he yelled, limping the rest of the way to the door. He yanked it open, ready to tear someone’s throat out when his eyes found hers.
She was simply standing there, right outside his front door. Even though this was practically her second home, it felt like she didn’t belong there. She looked awkward and out of place, and her right arm hung limp at her side like it was broken. Her eyes reflected second thoughts and anxiety.
Josh’s anger melted away into curiosity and panic. Oh, god. She’s going to talk to me about Bree.
“K-Kali…what are you doing here…?” He choked on his words.
She rocked back and forth on her feet a couple times and took a deep breath in. “I need to talk to you.”
“Look, Kali, whatever you heard, it’s just…it’s not true. I can explain—”
“Then explain Bree to me,” she choked. “She came into the café and…she told me things…why did she tell me those things?”
“What things, Kali?” Josh asked. Clearly he couldn’t lie his way out of his one. “I don’t know what you’re talking—”
“She said you talk about me all the time and she told me you slept with her.” Kali looked down awkwardly. She really hated talking about that stuff.
“Slept with…” Josh stammered. F*ck you, Bree. “Kali, please let me explain.”
“You don’t have to, Josh, it’s fine,” she shrugged. “If you want to sleep with people, I don’t care. I’m just your friend, not your mother.”
“Well then why are you confronting me about it?” Something didn’t add up here.
Kali hesitate for a long time before answering. “She said that you…mentioned me during…well…”
“Oh, god.” I’m going to be sick.
“Did you, Josh? Why?” she asked quietly.
“I didn’t say your name, Kali.” His glacier blue eyes froze over and he became cold and distant once more. He had to make this lie believable. “Why would I? I don’t think of you like that. It’s just Bree…she’s screwed up like that. It was a one night stand. I was lonely and she wanted to play match-maker. It’s just because I talk about you that she figured she’d try to hook us up. She’s nothing but a mistake to me.”
Kali stared at him in silence for a moment. Josh’s harsh words hung in the frigid air between them like ghosts. “Oh. Okay.” she whispered. She suddenly seemed so frail.
“I miss you, Kali.” Josh had to at least try to repair the damage while she was right in front of him.
She looked up at him, her green eyes sparkling with moisture. She was thinking hard about something. Josh waited for her patiently.
“If I give you another chance at friendship…will you blow it?” she asked in barely a whisper. “Because…I can’t handle much more disappointment, Josh. Not from you. I can’t.”
“No, I won’t blow it. I swear I won’t. I won’t let you down ever again, Kali.” I hold you up above everyone…
She nodded slowly and exhaled a deep breath. “Let’s hang out, then. If you’re not too busy, that is.”
“No, I’m not doing anything,” His heart was hammering in his chest. She was giving him another chance as her friend! He felt alive again. “Let me just grab my jacket.”
He was half-turned around when Kali grabbed his wrist. He stopped and looked back to see her staring at his arm with wide eyes. Sh*t! He’d forgotten he was wearing a t-shirt.
She turned her wide eyes upon his face in shock. Josh pulled his arm out of her grasp harshly and hid it behind his back as if that would undo what had already been done.
“What was that?” Kali asked.
“Nothing…it’s nothing.” Josh stuttered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“There were cuts…all over your arms…and, and holes…”
“Just don’t worry about it, okay? I’m fine. Let’s just go get some hot chocolate or—”
“I’m worrying about it, Josh!” She was yelling now. “You may think no one worries about you, but I do! Those marks on your arms aren’t ‘nothing’, Josh. What have you been doing?”
“Nothing, Kali. I haven’t been doing anything.” His lies were quickly unravelling.
“Stop lying to me!” She screamed. Her hand pulled back and snapped forward quickly, slapping Josh across the face.
Tears instantly sprung to his eyes as the stinging sensation burned hot on his cheek. Slowly, he turned his face back around to look at her. His mouth hung open, trying to form words.
“You—you hit me…” he whispered. His lips shook.
Kali just stared at him. A red hand print was starting to become visible in contrast with his pale skin. What have I done? she thought.
Instantly Kali stepped closer, reaching out to touch him again. “Josh, I’m—I’m so sorry…” She reached her hand out further and he stepped back, flinching.
“Why…?” Josh asked. He was still in shock that she’d slapped him.
“I—I don’t know…please, I’m sorry…”
He didn’t make any more sound. He just watched her, trying to push away the anger that rose up in him.
Eventually, Kali spoke again, sniffing away tears. “I don’t know what it is you’re currently going through, but whatever it is…it’s me or it, Josh. Take your pick.” she said quietly.
Josh furrowed his brow. “What are you talking about? Haven’t I made it clear that I want my friend, you, back in my life?”
“I’m not so sure anymore…I should’ve never come here. I’m sorry, I can’t.” Kali ran down the walkway and onto the sidewalk. Before Josh could even yell her name, she was gone.
Don’t you leave me…