Fix Me

“Home sweet home,” Matt smiled as he opened the passenger side door for Kali. She stepped out and took a deep breath of crisp winter air, pulling her jacket tighter around her.
Matt walked her to the door, like a true gentleman. Before she could disappear behind it, though, he spoke up.
“Look, I know the night ended on a not-so-great note, but I think it started really good. I think for two people who don’t go to school dances, we did pretty great.” He smiled at her. “We make a good team, you and I.”
Kali smiled weakly and looked at the ground. Josh had said that to her years ago when they’d stood up to a resident bully. Josh. The image of his face in her mind rekindled the flame of hurt and anger inside her. Suddenly she just wanted to give him what he deserved.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is,” Matt continued, “I had fun tonight. Lots of it, actually, despite everything that…happened. And I know I’m rambling and sounding like a complete loser, but, I just hope you had fun, too, even though the night ended early—”
Kali cut him off when she lifted herself up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. She could feel his initial shock, and then his lips formed to hers warmly as he caught on.
When she pulled away finally, her eyes searched his. She smiled at him gently and brushed his messy hair back. “I had fun, too.” she admitted quietly.
“Oh,” His mouth expelled a white cloud in the chilly air and he grinned slowly. “Well I’m glad.”
“You know,” Kali smiled flirtatiously, “my parents aren’t home. Would you like to come inside?”
“Yes, I’d like that very much.”
Moments later, the two pushed their way into Kali’s room, locked in a passionate embrace. Their lips kept connecting like magnets and pulling away, only to find each other again quickly. They fell back onto Kali’s soft bed and Matt repositioned himself above her. His strong hand found her hip and remained there, heating up her skin. Kali’s fingers combed through his hair repetitively, keeping him close to her.
She’d never done something like this before. She’d never made out with a guy in her room while her parents were away. This was something only bad girls did. And oh, if only Josh could see it…
Kali pushed Matt’s jacket off his shoulders and he pulled away to take it off, quickly reconnecting their kiss. Her hands went under his button-up shirt as far as they could, tracing the warm contours of his muscles.
He pushed her hair back to kiss along her neck softly. His warm breath tingled her skin and she made a small moan. Would she dare to let this go further?
Matt started to unbutton his shirt and Kali helped him. Soon enough it was off and it had joined his jacket on the floor. Matt’s hand moved down to Kali’s leg, slipping further and further upwards, under her dress…
Suddenly Kali froze and pushed Matt away. “I can’t,” she breathed, “I can’t do this.”
“What?” Matt asked, equally out of breath from the heated moment. “How come?”
“I just…I’ve never done this before, I’m sorry…” Kali apologized, sitting up and rubbing her temples.
“Wait, you’re a virgin and you were going to waste your first time on me when we aren’t even dating?” Matt asked. “Shouldn’t your first time be…special?”
“It was a stupid mistake, I’m really sorry. I was just mad at someone and I got caught up in it all—”
“Josh.” Matt interjected. All he had to say was the name. Kali looked at him and immediately saw the painful understanding on his face. She couldn’t find the words. “You were going to have sex with me…to make Josh mad.”
“Matt, it’s not like…please, I’m so sorry…Matt…” Kali couldn’t even form sentences.
Matt got off the bed and put his shirt back on, picking up his jacket as well. “No, I get it. I just didn’t think you were that kind of person. I thought you were above all that.” Matt’s words were like shards of glass.
“Please…I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay, Kali.” He moved towards her bedroom door. “Goodnight. I can show myself out.” Moments later the front door clicked closed.
The tears finally spilled over.

Josh pushed past the front door to the destroyed house. It was a mess inside; a total drug house, but he didn’t care. He pushed several boxes of empty beer cans out of the way with his shoe and sauntered up the stairs three at a time. He opened a broken door to see Xavier, Jeremy, Bree, Raven, Luke, and two other boys he didn’t recognize sprawled about. Bree and Raven were perched on the bed, while the guys sat around them on the floor. The room stunk of pot and boiling heroin.
“Ramsay! Nice of you to join us.” Xavier smiled.
“Nice of you to finally answer your phone.” Josh snapped coldly. He had a surprising sense of authority dwelling inside him and he planned to use it.
“Alright, my bad,” Xavier held up his hands in surrender. “Take a seat. Bree, get him high.”
Josh sat on the bed and Bree filled a needle before crawling over to him, exposing a fair amount of cleavage in her low-cut shirt.
“Hm, your veins are barely there,” She mused at his exposed arm, tracing the freshly cleaned cuts without saying anything. She grabbed a belt from the floor and tightened it around his elbow. Some blood dripped from the cuts, going ignored. “It’s pretty sad when you have to start using a belt, you junkie.”
Josh held the end of the belt in his teeth and rolled his eyes at her. She found a blue line and filled it with the drug. Instantly Josh started to feel better. He released the belt from his mouth with a satisfied moan.
Bree tilted her head at him curiously and then looked at the other inhabitants. “Scram,” she said, “all of you. I need to talk to Josh in private for a minute.”
Groaning, they all stood up and left, pulling the broken door closed as far as it would go.
Josh furrowed his brow at Bree. “Now, what did you do that for?”
“Hm, what did you do that for?” She pointed to his cuts as she lit up a joint.
Josh stared at the marks on his arm with mild amusement but didn’t have an answer for her.
“What’s got you especially broody and self-pitying tonight?” she asked, blowing out a thick cloud of smoke.
“Mm,” He reclined his head against the wall as the drugs took over his body pleasantly, “my friend took the girl I’m in love with to a school dance.”
“That’s not a very friendly thing to do,” Bree said.
“No, it’s not. A few days before I punched him for it. She…she told me to leave the dance and go home.” Josh admitted in a slur.
“Well, those aren’t very nice things either.” Bree held the joint to his lips and watched him take a puff off it.
“The world isn’t very nice to me lately.” His words came out in smoke.
“I can tell. You seem so…damaged and hurt.” She lowered her eyelids seductively.
“I’m a very, very damaged and hurt person.” Josh nodded.
“That’s what love does to you,” Bree shrugged as she took a long pull from the joint. “It’s not that spectacular at all.”
Josh laughed. “You just haven’t been in the kind of love that I’m in.”
“You don’t know me well enough to assume that.”
“Well then why don’t you let me get to know you?” His full lips lifted up into a crooked smile.
“Not so fast, kiddo. First, answer me this: when was the last time you slept with a girl?” Bree raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
“What? That has nothing to do with love.”
“Sex plays an important role. Now, answer the question.”
“I don’t know, like…a year ago or something. It was a mistake anyways—”
“How good are you at it?”
“I don’t know…”
“Well listen, I have a proposal for you, Joshua,” Bree smirked and eyed him hungrily.
“What’s that, Breanne?” Josh inquired in a whisper.
Bree leaned in closer and whispered, “Do me, and I’ll rate you. If you do well I’ll be sure to have this Kali girl tripping over herself to get to you.”
Josh froze for a second. Was she asking what he thought she was? More importantly, did he want it?
“You want me to—” he began. His voice died away.
“You heard me, Ramsay. It’s just a little fun, what’s so bad about that?” she purred, tugging on his shirt playfully.
Josh’s eyes roamed her body that was practically on top of him already. He looked around the room as he tried to think. In his high state, her offer sounded so perfect and delicious. He just wanted it so badly. He wanted Kali so badly. Bree definitely wasn’t Kali, but if this little proposal of fun was what it would take to ultimately get what he wanted, he couldn’t see a flaw in the plan.
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.” He breathed, pressing his lips firmly to hers as she pushed him back onto the bed.

Josh and Bree were lying under the thin covers on the bed, panting hard. Both of them were sweaty messes, and the whole room smelled of their sins.
When he’d found his breath, Josh leaned over to look at Bree. She was smoking a cigarette, and he bit back a cliché remark. “So,” he asked instead, “what do you rate me?”
Bree slowly focused her filmy eyes on him, searching his face as she thought of an appropriate score. “Hm, on a scale of 10...9.5” she finally answered.
Josh sat up in the bed and watched her. “Where did I lose that half point?” he asked with a breathy chuckle.
Bree put out her cigarette on the wall and put on her underpants, bra and skinny jeans before she crawled over to Josh again, leaning in close to whisper in his ear,
“When you said her name instead of mine.”