On The Ledge

See No More - Joe Jonas
____________________

Her phone rang and a name that had been coming up way too much lately appeared on her phone, Mark. She didn't want anything do with him and she was tired of his sob story.

A voicemail message appeared on the screen when it finally stopped ringing and she slid her finger across the screen You have one new voice message

"Okay, you know what? I think it's time you pick up the fucking phone because I'm tired of getting your voicemail. I know you want to talk to me Liv and the ignoring needs to stop"

She deleted the message and set her phone down next to her on the couch. She took a deep breath and felt the sudden urge and give in quickly, walking over to the fridge when Sidney came in the door and she stopped.

"Liv?" she stood there with the door open staring at the bottle when Sidney came up behind her, "Liv, don't"

"Sid this can't be in the house" she said, "I need it out"

"What happened?" he asked gently grabbing her hand. She jerked it away and brushed past him, "It doesn't matter just get it out Sidney"

She ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. A year it's been and the urges still get worse, "I'm sorry Liv it was a gift..."

"I don't care, it needs to go"

"What happened while I was gone?"

"It doesn't fucking matter, just let it go okay?"

He grabbed the bottle from the fridge and I heard him dump it down the drain of the kitchen sink, "It's gone...I'm sorry"

"I need to get out of here" she said, "Away from here"

"Liv, let's talk about this" he said but she had shut the door before she heard him and started walking down the street. She shoved her hands in her pockets and felt the rain slowly start to pour and didn't even react as it started to soak through her sweater. It was hard to determine what were raindrops and which were tears. Before she knew it she ended up at the Iceoplex and sat in front of the door underneath a small roof where it was relatively dry. Her hair was soaked, her makeup ran and her entire body was shivering.

"Uh...are you okay?" there was a voice behind her and she turned to see James and even he couldn't make her react. She just stared out into the street as the rain started to fall harder. Out of nowhere he sat down beside her and looked out too, "You always walk in the rain?" That the best you could come up with Neal? he thought.

She shrugged, "It didn't start raining until I was halfway here"

"Is there a reason you came here?" he said looking over at her. He knew there was something else going on but he didn't know this girl and prying was probably not a good idea.

She finally looked over at him and noticed how blue his eyes were, she found herself staring at them for a minute before he turned away and looked down at his hands, "You're going to get sick" he said, "I'm sure Sid's looking for you"

"I don't really care" she said with a sigh, "I don't care anymore"

He stood up and reached his hand out but she refused to take it, "At least let me drive you home" he said, "Before you get sick"

She stood up and shivered a bit wrapping her arms tighter around herself. The rain started falling harder and he stopped her, "Don't, I'll come to the door" she nodded and stopped while the rain still slid down her face. The sleek black car stopped in front of her and he unlocked the door and she let herself in. He never said a word and headed towards Sidney's house.

"Thank you" she said, barely audible as she stepped out of the car. He nodded in response as she shut the door and ran into the house. How can a woman that was smiling so brightly the day before be so completely depressed the next?he thought to himself, there's alot more to this girl than meets the eye

--

There was only a few more practices before the beginning of the season started and things were getting busier every day, keeping James' mind busy for the time being. He hadn't thought about that girl in the rain for a while and never did call her about her write up.

It was also the least on her mind, right now her self-control was all she could think about and the fact that she could use a drink every time she saw her ex's name on the phone but knew she couldn't.

There was no doubt he crawled into her mind every now and again but when she pictures the night she walked into his apartment to find a brunette in his dress shirt answering the door, he quickly disappears. That's when the drinking started and Sidney saved her.

"You need to write" Sidney said as he watched her pace back and forth, "Or grab your camera or something"

"I have nothing to write about" she said shaking her head, "I thought he'd call back, he hasn't called back"

"The season is starting soon" he sighed, "It's been pretty busy around the rink"

She shook her head and continued pacing. Her sweats were rolled up halfway on one leg, her oversized sweater hid her slight curves and her hair stuck up in a bun with her thick dark rimmed glasses on her head. He sighed and looked outside to see the sun for the first time in days, "Take your camera, take my car and go take some pictures" he said, "It calms you down and occupies your mind"

She paused for a moment before going to her room to throw on a plain white t-shirt and black denims before grabbing the keys that hung out in front of her like bait. She grabbed her camera and stepped out into the warm sunshine of September, already she felt her mind at ease.

She never remembered not having a camera. She was always snapping pictures as a child with her disposable camera until it evolved into her powerful Nikon she cherished now. She loved photographing sports but being outside was where she captured everything from the beauty of nature to a family, a couple or even a landmark.

She slipped on her glasses and parked on a side street just inside the city and walked through the busy streets and parks taking picture after picture. Everything seemed to be flowing and the more she snapped the more at ease her mind was and she felt better than ever.

--

It was a new season in Dallas in 2010 but the rain still seemed to dampen the moods of the citizens. He found himself in front of a local coffee shop, underneath an awning keeping dry when he heard music coming from inside. He turned to look in the massive window to see a brunette wearing a simple navy blue t-shirt and jeans with and apron around her waist. The sign said open but there wasn't a customer in sight. She swayed her hips back and forth and you could tell she was singing. He couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of her until she turned around and stopped to see eyes staring back at her. Her face flushed red and she turned back and forth a couple times, flustered before she went behind the counter, her back facing the window trying to look busy. He stepped inside and shook the dampness from his hair before meeting two deep blue eyes. He couldn't help but smile as her cheeks were still red. She smiled back at him and greeted him as she would anyone else, "Can I help you?"

"Just a coffee, black" he told her.

She nodded in response and turned to pour him a coffee, "And your name" he said before she spun around with an eyebrow raised, "Excuse me?"

"What's your name?"

She handed him his coffee and her lips curved into a small smile, "Summer" he took his coffee and sat down on a stool at the small bar, "Nice to meet you Summer"

He shot up in a cool sweat only to see that the clock said 4am and he had to be up in a few hours. He fell back and put his arm over his eyes. He wished he could forget it, he wished the feelings would go away because as normal as it was becoming, misery was not such great company anymore.

Her perfect kissable lips, the deep blue eyes that lit up every time he came home to her and her i love you's that all seemed to be a lie now.

All of it was a lie, a huge, twisted lie.

There was no use sleeping now, so he stepped out of bed, grabbed his phone, and stumbled downstairs and attempted to make himself some coffee.

He sat as his kitchen table and stared across the table where she would sit if she were still here now. He looked around the kitchen where she would have danced in his dress shirt around the kitchen, sliding around in her socks. He threw his mug across the room where it shattered against the cabinet and coffee slid down the doors. It was becoming overwhelming and time was certainly not healing the scars that stung deep.

He scrolled through his phone and found her name, Summer White because somehow he couldn't bring himself to delete it. He continued to scroll upwards now when he landed on Liv Taylor, the girl in the rain. A broken soul like himself, and he didn't know why. Without considering the time, he sent through a text, not expecting an answer so soon.

4:32 am: Available for that coffee today?

4:33 am: An hour?

4:35 am: I'll pick you up

The fact that the sun hadn't even rose yet didn't even cross their minds, they just knew that after a sleepless night they both needed a distraction and this had to work.

The clock read 5:47 when he finally pulled up. She was in a navy blue fitted hoodie, a white beanie with her hair straight down, black yoga pants and black flats. She had a bag with a small notepad and pen and some cash for coffee. She shut the door quietly so she wouldn't wake up Sidney and looked up at the brightening sky as the sun was slowly rising. It's too cold for September she thought. She opened the passenger door of his car and slipped in, giving him a small smile before buckling her seatbelt and looking out the window.

The drive was quiet and by the time they had made it to the city, the sun was up and already the city seemed to look more beautiful.

"So where are we headed?" he asked.

"Just Starbucks?" she replied, "I'm not really hungry for much this morning" he nodded in agreement as he continued the quiet drive. He never said anything after that before he parked in front of the small building.

They both sat down across from eachother with their respective drinks and it was quiet. The incident in the rain was still fresh in each other's minds, and they both knew that there was more to them than they had originally thought.

"So...tell me about yourself"

He spoke about how he was from Oshawa and a big family with three brothers and a sister. He played minor hockey for quite a while before he was drafted, and played more after that. How he was drafted in the second round by the Stars but never really got a full season with them until 2009. She wrote notes accordingly as he spoke, until Dallas came into the conversation.

"I had alot of memories in Dallas..." Summer immediately came to mind and he stopped everything and looked down at his drink. His hands gripped tigther around the cup and she noticed how tense he was.

"What happened in Dallas James?" he knew she was asking more than she was entitled to, "Not really your business" he snapped. She sat back and nodded, writing a few notes down.

Still bitter, angry and brokenhearted. Dallas is what made him and broke him

"What else do you need?" he finally said, irritated that she was writing without saying anything.

"I need to watch you play" she said, "Your style. Especially since the trade...you didn't do much...no offence"

He shrugged, "Well it's true, I'm really hoping to turn that around" she followed by writing that down while she used one hand to take another drink. Without even looking up she asked a question.

"Are you happy about coming to Pittsburgh?"

It hit him as soon as he heard the question. No. He wasn't happy here. Pittsburgh is the reason he lost her. Dallas is where everything felt right.

"No" he said it out loud without even realizing it and her head shot up and she set her pen down, "Not going to write that down?" he asked sarcastically standing up and walking towards the door. She grabbed her stuff quickly and followed him outside, "James, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you"

He shook his head, "It's fine, you didn't know"

"Off the record" she said and he turned around having got his attention, "What happened in Dallas James?"

"You don't know me" he replied, "It's not your business, I told you that" he turned and unlocked the doors of his car, fully prepared to leave her standing on the sidewalk.

"James, I know what it feels like...to have your heart broken" she got his attention again and he didn't understand how she knew, "How do you know?" he hissed, "Who told you?"

She shook her head, "No one. It's in your eyes" he looked at her for a moment and saw those blue eyes so similar to Summer's and he turned away from her, "When you were in the rain" he said, "That was it?"

"He found multiple someone elses" she said it quietly, in almost a whisper, "it had been happening for months..."

He turned around again for the third time, which would make anyone dizzy and raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

She didn't go any further, she just nodded, "She found someone else" he didn't know why he was telling her this. He still didn't know her well enough to be sharing such intimate secrets, but he felt like he owed her after she said that.

"I don't want to say I'm sorry" she said, "Because I'm tired of hearing it, like I'm sure you are"

She was revealing something about herself that no one else has ever heard, except her best friend. She never thought she could ever trust another man again other than Sidney, but this one knew exactly how she felt so she knew she could trust him.

"How about I take you home?" he asked, not talking anymore about the subject. The feelings were starting to take over and he didn't want her in the crossfire.

A small smile curved on her lips and she nodded, "I'd like that"