Green-Eyed Monster

“Hey Sarah,” said Matt with a smile as he hugged me. I tried to ignore the butterflies I felt as he pulled my body close to his hard chest. For such a big guy, he was awfully gentle. “How have you been?”

I forced a smile as I went to hug Brian. “I’ve been great, thanks.”

Zacky came to my side, wrapping his arm around my waist and kissing my cheek. My good cheek. “You look beautiful.”

I didn’t miss a beat, smiling up at him. “Thanks, babe.”

He returned the smile, before pulling away. “You guys hungry?” he asked. “I was thinking of throwing some hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” said Brian, “I’ll help you.”

Zacky and Brian left to the kitchen to get the food together and I felt Matt’s eyes on me.

I felt my cheeks flush and I mentally scolded myself. “What?”

“Aren’t you hot?” he asked. He gestured to my long-sleeved shirt, eyebrows raised.

Of course I was hot. I could feel the back of my shirt plastered to my back despite the air conditioning.

I smiled. “No, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

I swallowed, folding my arms across my chest, but he merely laughed and walked over to me.

“C’mon, I’m hot. I know you are too. Let’s go swimming.” He pulled on my arm playfully and I jolted forward, sucking in a breath and wincing as the motion set muscles in my shoulder on fire.

He steadied me carefully, but didn’t take his hands away. “Sorry,” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

I put on my most convincing smile, relaxing slightly as the pain steadied to a dull throb. I forced a small laugh despite the tears in my eyes.

“I’m such a clutz. I bumped into the dresser yesterday. It’s just a little - “

Just then Zacky walked through the archway and I pulled my arm back quickly, fear coursing through my body. I could feel his eyes trained on me, but I stared at the ground, rubbing my shoulder absentmindedly. My heart was beating so loudly that I was sure everyone else could hear it too.

“Everything okay?”

Zacky was looking back and forth between me and Matt, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, of course,” I said with a smile. “Food almost ready?”

I smiled at him and then at Matt, who stared back, his expression unreadable.

Zacky cleared his throat. “Yeah, almost.”

His eyes were on Matt now and I turned to him, seeing his eyes fixated on my arm. He looked up at me after a moment, and I saw him gulp, almost as if he were holding back.

“Matt? Are you - “

Zacky had started walking toward me and Matt turned swiftly, moving to stand directly in front of me. Zacky’s face was full of confusion. I was confused too.

Zacky took another step in my direction, but Matt didn’t move.

“Back the fuck off,” he said. His voice was strong. Almost vicious.

I saw Zacky’s mouth open in shock, echoing my own feelings.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Matt’s hands were squeezed into fists so tightly his knuckles were white. His voice was powerful, but was shaking slightly with anger.

I watched Zacky’s face change. From confusion, to disbelief, to anger. Then his eyes cut to mine and I could feel the immediate change in my heart rate. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t move.

“You fucking bitch,” he whispered, “I told you not to fucking - “

“Don’t fucking call her that,” Matt growled. “And she didn’t tell me.”

“Hey, Zack I think the hamburgers are about - ” Brian stopped halfway into the room, looking between Matt and Zacky, and finally at me. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, Zack. Why don’t you tell us?” yelled Matt. He took another step toward Zacky. I could see the muscles flexing on his bare arms and I knew he was seconds from losing it. “If you so much as touch her again, I swear I will fucking kill you.”

I felt Brian’s eyes cut to my face, but I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Zacky. I knew Matt wouldn’t let him touch me, but that didn’t calm my pounding heart.

I jumped. Brian’s hand was on my back and I breathed out a sigh as he guided me to the couch.

“Sorry,” he breathed. He sat down beside me and took my hand. Despite his trying to calm me down, I could tell he was feeling rather uneasy himself.

Zacky laughed harshly. I looked into his eyes. Eyes that once showed nothing but love and adoration for me. Beautiful, emerald eyes. Now all I saw was a green-eyed monster.

“You don’t scare me, Shadows.”

I knew the seconds the words were out of his mouth, he was done for. In a split second, Matt had swung his fist forward connecting with his face. Zacky lost balance and fell to the ground, landing on his side. He whimpered, hands reaching up to his head, blood trickling from his mouth and nose.

Breathing heavily, Matt took another step toward him. I felt Brian drop my hand as he jumped up, quickly stepping in between.

“That’s enough, Matt,” he said, pushing on Matt’s chest. His voice was slightly unsteady, but forceful. Matt obliged, turning around slowly to look at me. But my eyes were fixed on Zacky on the floor. I could feel my entire body trembling.

“Can you at least get him the fuck out of here then?”

Matt’s voice was wavering with anger, his chest still rising and falling rapidly. Brian nodded. I watched as he managed to hoist half of his body up with a grunt. His head was lolling slightly as he seemed to be going in and out of consciousness and I watched the blood drip from his nose, leaving dotted red stains on the carpet. Brian half carried, half dragged him across the floor, just as Matt appeared in front of me, blocking Zacky from view. Matt was kneeling down, trying to see my face.

“Are you okay?” he said softly. I didn’t answer, not even knowing if I was capable. “He’s going to be fine,” he said, placing his hand on my shaking knee. I could tell that last part took some effort on his part and I could hear the edge of disgust in his voice.

I blinked and looked up at him. He was holding his hand and I saw him wince as he tried to move his fingers.

“Matt,” I breathed, finding my voice. “Your hand.”

His hand was beet red, already beginning to swell, the skin on his knuckles cracked and bleeding.

“You need to go to the hospital, too. It’s probably - “

“Don’t worry about me,” he said quickly. “Please. I need to know that you’re okay.”

I gulped, staring at him, while my mind replayed the scene just moments before, ultimately drifting back to Zacky on the floor.

He sighed and sat down next to me. He took my hand and squeezed it. I knew it was mostly for my benefit, but I guessed that he needed some comfort too as his hand seemed to be shaking almost as much as mine. “Stupid question. Of course you’re not okay.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes and I found myself focusing on listening to his breathing, still heavy and erratic, desperate for something in reality to hold on to. I listened to each breath, noting how each grew slower, gradually turning back to normal.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he said suddenly.

I turned my face to meet his. His voice was soft, but I could see the vicious anger and hurt flashing in his eyes, his adam’s apple bobbing with emotion. “Fuck, Sarah. You didn’t have to let - “

“I’m s-sorry,” I whimpered, the numbness breaking for the first time. Tears began to silently fall from my eyes and I wiped them away with annoyance. “I c- couldn’t. Z-Za-Zacky said - “

“Shit,” he breathed. “I’m not mad at you, sweetheart.”

He slowly put his arm around me, careful now so as not to hurt me, and I immediately snuggled up to him as my body shook with the sobs I couldn’t hold back.

He whispered softly to me now and again, telling me it would be all right and rubbed circles on my back, attempting to calm me down. But we both knew it wasn’t that easy.

I don’t know how much time passed as we sat there. I knew we couldn’t do this forever, but he made no attempt to move and I didn’t want him to. I was resting my eyes, cradled against Matt’s chest somewhere between fits of crying when I felt the couch sink as Brian sat down next to me.

Wordlessly, he placed his hand on my lap and I grabbed it, squeezing it tight. I didn’t ask about Zacky, although I wanted to. But I knew Brian was hurting, too. He and Zacky were best friends. It wasn’t easy to find out that someone you’d known forever and thought you’d known so well wasn’t that person at all. I know. I’ve been battling that for years.

One look at Brian’s face set me off again and Matt pulled me tight against him. The pain in my chest seemed even worse. Doubled.

Once again Matt held me until I calmed down. He didn’t say anything, but it was better that way. When I’d exhausted myself once again I pulled away slightly and leaned my head against the back of the couch. I felt Matt’s eyes on my face and I turned to him.

He was staring at my cheek, seemingly just having noticed the bruise there. His eyes were so sad, and I felt my chest fall again.

He lifted his hand and lightly grazed the side of my face with the back of his thumb. I closed my eyes at his touch and leaned into him again.

He kissed my hair. “Everything is going to be okay,” he whispered. He hesitated for a moment, as if deciding on what he should say. “I won’t let him hurt you ever again.”

I reached across his lap and took his injured hand gingerly in the both of mine. Gently, I raised it up to my lips and pressed them softly against his still-red knuckles.

“I know.”