Should I Go on With This Arranged Marriage?

Brian's P.O.V.

"Brian! Something's happening!" V called me running back in.

I quickly threw the my freshly opened cigarette and rushed in following the girls, V and Johnny running towards the stairs.

"Dominique!" I heard Val shouting that echoed throughout the hall.

The picture of Nick kneeling on the floor on Jimmy's arms immediately hollow my chest. She's crying and mumbling words on his shirt like a child who lost everything.

She looked up to Jimmy, "Jimmy, tell me, please. Tell me I'm just sleeping. Slap me, pinch me, punch me! I don't care. I'm just dreaming, right?" She cried back on his shoulder. Her body is shaking pretty hard from the heavy sobs she's making.

"I wish I could, Nick. I'm so sorry." He started rubbing Nick's back that he hew won't make her comfort.

I took a step forward but Jimmy stops me by shaking his head. Also, Matt took me by my bicep.

"You can't do anything now." He said.

I pursed my lips and let the tear poured down my cheek. For the first time, I saw myself in a movie doing all the bad things. Causing the lead roles to suffer to their deaths. I wanted to cry but something tells me, I deserve to suffer the pain and hold it in until I lost everything. I wanted to pick her up and comfort her but I deserve the painful moment. I wanted to hug her but I feel I don't deserve her on my arms. I wanted to comfort her but how? How could I do it if I'm the one causing her all this pain? I wanted to tell her it's gonna be alright but it's not since it's the life of our child I took with my very own hands.

I'm the monster here. I'm an evil, like she said. She's right. I'm a very bad guy for her. It's my entire fault. Everything. I let my past eat me. I let my past destroy her. I let it all fall down for her. I let it all hit her pretty good.

"Where is he?" She suddenly asked Jimmy. "Where is Brian? Is he alright? Does he know? Please, don't tell him."

"Brian knows already. He's not fine, of course."

"Where is he? Why is he not here? I saw him earlier."

It's hard to understand what she's saying because of her uncontrolled cries. I looked away unable to see the picture she's in now. It's breaking my inside. Her cries are too loud for me to take. Looking at her seems a nightmare to me.

"He's just around." Jimmy replied.

Jimmy hugged Nick tightly as the doctor injected something on her that quickly put her on her sleep. Jimmy carried Nick back to her room and all of them followed him except of Zacky.

"You need to rest. You've been guarding her for three straight nights. You need to get some sleep too."

"I'm alright." I said.

"I know you're not."

---

Sleep hasn't been visiting me since Nick got here in the hospital. I refuse to close my eyes not wanting to miss a second of her face. The pain is obvious on her face and It's a sacrifice for me to see her hurting.

This isn't enough payment for what I did to her. I don't think there's something I can do to possibly make it all up with her. I wish I could bring back her child. I couldn't say to myself that I lost a child too, because I know I don't deserve to be his father. Because I killed him. I murdered him. I took away his life. I took him away from his mother. I took his' mother's happiness. I put tears on his mother's eyes. I put his mother's life almost to death. I made his mother suffer. I did all the bad things to them. I made them both experienced sadness. I made them feel like a crap.

The door opened showing Michelle's regretful face.

"I.. I don't think it's right to be on this room you now."

"I know. I won't be long. I just want to see how she is. I couldn't face them. Not even my sister." She said.

"She's...." I trailed off.

She walks over Nick peacefully sleeping.

"She looks sad and suffering." Michelle said.

I couldn't say anything since everything is being stated by how Nick looks. I pushed myself to hold a stare on her face. Dark circle under her eyes, dry skin and it's too obvious how sad her face is. It's peaceful, yes. But there's something even in her sleep she won't be at ease.

"Brian, I know you've been blaming yourself. Don't. This is my fault too. I'm too ashamed to face them because of this. I don't even know how to say sorry to you, to her. Because It won't change the fact that... That he's gone."

"It's all my fault." I said. "I just dragged you in it."

"I betrayed her. I slept with her husband. And as a girl I'm gonna feel betrayed too if that happens to me." She paused. "Brian, I.. I want to make this clear. What happened was a mistake. We missed each other but it's all wrong. And it's already too much that an innocent soul is gone because of this madness. If it wasn't clear to you that we're way over beacuse there has been no official break up between us, I'm doing it now. What we have, is done. You have Dominique now. You have to focus on her. And no matter how hard she pushed you away now, she's still going to need you. She is yours and You are hers. You have to take care of her now. It's all about her now. Now is not me, not your past, it's her now. Only her."

I found myself nodding on her. "Yeah. It's about time. It's too late to say that, but it's about time to start over from you. Thank you, Michelle."

"Good bye, Brian." She said pulling me into a gentle hug. "Please, say my sorry to her. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't mean to take him away from you and her."

"It's okay now." We pulled back from each other. "Good bye, Michelle."

She nodded and left the room.