Traveling Backwards

My glance shot up towards Wolf, but he was already looking down at me. He tightened his grip on my waist, bringing me in closer to him. At a time like this, it would have been nice for him to be warm, for him to have a heartbeat. I wanted to hide my sporadic rhythm in his, I wanted them to coincide. I wanted to feel less like I was the alien here.
But I was the alien, even on Earth. I “lived” in hell, without knowledge of whether or not I was dead. I was bitten by vampires and fell in love with one. I share his physical pain, and I’m killing him because he loves me too. I don’t belong with the humans, because I’m not exactly human. I don’t belong with the creatures, because I’m not a creature.
I’m… I’m neither.
So what am I?

---XXX---

I tore away from Wolf’s embrace and walked determinedly back inside the restaurant. I wasn’t surprised to hear that my parents had been murdered. I’d always held a slight suspicion. I know Jayleen and Kaige were intending that line to shatter me, but it didn’t. I may be cracked, but I’m not shattered.
“Everything okay?” Arianne questioned, quickly analyzing my face as I took my seat next to her. I nodded and managed a small smile as I picked up my menu.
Wolf returned a couple minutes later.
After we all ordered our food, I eyed Sage and Xavier who were doing a crappy job of hiding the fact that they were holding hands under the table.
“So um. When did you guys start going out?” I asked, directing my question at Xavier. Sage shrunk a little, despite my effort to keep her from having to answer.
“Nineteen days ago”, he grinned. So they were one of those couples…
“Cute,” I said. Normally I would have been ecstatic, but being away from them for so long had made my connection faulty.
“You guys should come and hang with us tonight! I think we were going to watch crappy Netflix movies,” Arianne piped up.
We agreed.

---SAGE’S POV---

Xavier opened the passenger’s side door for me and waited to close it after I got in. We had gone on a walk around the lake after our late lunch and before heading to Arianne’s apartment. I loved spending time with him; he made me feel safe. All my anxieties were more manageable when I was around him, like he was 10 mg of Valium. I watched him amble into the driver’s side. Xavier was almost as awkward as me, and that made me feel almost normal. He smiled at my smile and pulled me towards him to give me a peck on the cheek before starting the car.
As we pulled out onto the road, the car dinged.
“Almost out of gas,” he mumbled, “I guess we’ll stop on the way.”
I nodded and put in the indie mix CD I had made him. Neutral Milk Hotel started playing and I stared out the window as it started to rain.
It was dark by the time we reached the Exxon station. It was a shitty station, with only one working light. I could barely make out Xavier’s outline as he waited for the tank to fill. Normally, people went to the Shell across the street because it was three cents cheaper. But Xavier hated waiting in lines.
“Shit,” I could hear Xavier whisper as he tapped the station equipment like it was a vending machine. He stepped over to the window and spoke through the glass: “It’s out of paper. And my parents always want a receipt so I’m gonna have to go inside. Be right back.”
I nodded, trying to hide my sudden anxiety spike.
I watched him through the window as he approached the cashier when suddenly my door opened.
A strong hand grabbed my shoulders and dragged me out of the car. I tried to scream but another hand was clasped tightly around my mouth. He pulled me into what I guessed was a van. I hadn’t noticed their vehicle pull to the machine next to us.
I could hear Xavier’s screams fading as we drove away.