Love for Love

"You're good at what you do but anything to do with friendships or relationships…" Benedict commented, his face hovering close to mine. My eyes searched his face, breath caught in my throat, and weary of what he might do. "You seem to falter."

In the silence stretched out between us, I felt the tension building. Obviously I did feel something with Benedict but I'm not sure what it was. It wasn't like anything I felt with Tom because I knew that Tom still had part of my heart, despite how I didn't want to see him ever again.

That was going to be a bit hard with the BAFTA's next weekend and Benedict being his closest friend and all. Obviously they still talked, so if I were to hang around Benedict, Tom would have some involvement whether it be in conversation or him there physically in person.

A whole range of emotions must have been crossing my face at that moment because Benedict removed his hands from my shoulders and grasped at my face. He just held me there, not moving an inch closer or further away from me. There was just a tense moment as I felt my heart growing tighter and tighter until I thought it would burst.

It was amazing to fully see Benedict this close without being overwhelmed by alcohol, shock, or any other kind of emotion. It was just to people being close together, except that Benedict had me pinned to the table.

"I'm not sure…" I said to him softly. "If I should kiss you now or not."

"Don't," he pressured, his eyes searching my face and tacking in every pore. "It will only ruin the moment."

"Okay," I said softly.

What broke us apart was a phone call. It definitely wasn't my house or mobile so it must have come from Benedict's pocket. He removed himself from on top of me and resumed his seat.

It was only then that I realised that his hand was resting upon my bare leg that made me miss his touch. He somehow made me feel comfortable in the odd circumstance that we found ourselves in.

Benedict wasn't like Tom who was a drug that I couldn't shake and before long, I would have cravings. Benedict was kind of like a gentleman, like he had said to me earlier, but this loss of control that I had just experienced told me that he was possibly suffering from the same demons as I was -- a rejection of the heart.

He was definitely holding himself back, having a high respect for the opposite sex and wanting to charm them with his wits rather than his physical appearance -- as Tom had done to me. I admired Benedict for that.

While Ben was conversing with whoever he was conversing with over the phone, I lifted myself up off the table, crossed my legs over one another and sat in front of him until he got off the phone.

When he did, he slipped the phone back into his pocket and stood up from his seat. Ben rested his pleasantly rough hands upon my legs and leaned in towards me. It was definitely obvious that he liked to be close to me.

"Unfotunately, I have to go," Ben said with an annoyed sigh. "Tom is having troubles with Criss. Apparently she turned up at his house unannounced and tried to put herself onto him. Did a whole act to."

"Isn't she meant to be back in New York by now?" I asked, a little confused about what Criss was trying to get at.

"That's what Tom thought to," he said. "Tom's hid himself away in the bedroom after Criss started to do a strip tease for him." This only made me laugh and placed a pleasant smile across Ben's lips. "I have to go save him, apparently. Criss is repulsed, so Tom said."

"Well, don't take it to heart," I replied, my hands unconsciously going to his hair and pushing it off his forehead so he could see. "You're not the most unattractive man I met."

"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not," Ben said with a hurt expression.

"Take it as a compliment," I said, letting my hands fall to his upon my bare legs. "You're personality and charm make up for it."

Ben's smile widened as he surprisingly gave me kiss upon the cheek, saying, "I'll catch you around."

With that, his hands left my legs and left me wanting to feel their warmth once more. He let himself out of the apartment, the door to the lounge room clicking shut behind him.

I rushed from the table to one of the windows on the other side of the apartment. I saw him leave the front door and cross the road. He stuck his hand out to hail a taxi. Just before one arrived in front of him, Ben looked up at me and gave a wave.

I returned his wave as I watched him get into the taxi and zoom off down the street. Eventually, I returned to the couch with a lighter heart than I would have expected after the events of today.

________________________________________________________________________

The next week rolled passed without an incident. I hadn't heard from either Tom or Benedict, which was refreshing but by the time it got to Thursday of the following week, I began to get a little anxious.

What had happened after Criss appeared in Tom's apartment and Benedict was called into save him? Was Criss removed without a fuss? Did Benedict's appearance frustrate her even more?

I had no idea what was going on with them and I tried to take it as a good sign because without their distraction, it helped me focus on the work at hand. I had been in constant contact with the organisers of the awards ceremony and answering any queries that had come through from various celebrities.

I tried to act very professional when I was speaking to them, but on the inside I was excited that I was actually speaking to some celebrities that had the calibre of Anthony Hopkins or Sir Richard Attenborough. It was truly an honour.

During that week and a half that I spent without hearing from either Ben or Tom, I had my dress designed for the red carpet as well as an exquisite mask for the masquerade afterwards.

I had the mask sent to the office and Audrey came into the office just as I was about to leave for a fitting of my dress. She sat down in the seat opposite me and rested the box that contained the mask between us. I pushed aside my packed up things and excitedly opened up the box.

It was a beautiful silver-white mask trimmed with feathers that stuck out to the side. It was designed to hold onto my face without having to be attached around my head via an elastic band.

Audrey gasped at the sight, awestruck as much as I. It was beautiful and would go perfectly with the dress that I had seen the designs of. I quickly closed the box and pushed it back to Audrey.

"We'll take it with us to the fitting," I said to her. "I want to see how it truly looks like with my dress."

Audrey smiled and nodded her head enthusiastically. We left my office soon after that for the woman's house that was making my dress. I knocked on the door and a grey haired woman in her sixties answered. She let us in with a big smile and closing the door behind us.

Audrey took a seat on one of the old couches to the side of my room and I left my belongings with her. The woman ushered me into an adjacent room to the room Audrey and I were currently in.

And there, on a mannequin, was a strapless floor length dress that was a pearly-white and etched with silver. The bodice was lined with sparkling diamond like shapes and varied off into different feathered sections towards the bottom of the skirt.

It looked beautiful, and I couldn't have imagined a better dress. I smiled to the woman as she helped me into it. It was tight, but it excentuated what it needed to. I had to suck in for the dress and the woman surprised me by shoving her hands down my front to re-arrange my breasts so they sat perfectly in the dress.

I blushed when she did so, only causing her to laugh softy. She gave me a pair of shoes that didn't really suit the dress but it would serve it's purpose for now. I then took a step out into the adjacent room that Audrey sat in.

She gasped, surprised as I was when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

"If any guy didn't want to have sex with you in that dress," Audrey said. "I'd have to cut off their balls and call them a woman. Although, that wouldn't be fair because I would definitely turn gay for you right now."