Breach

Beside me I feel Robin moving. Though her voice is low I hear her speaking. My eyes crack open and I groan, catching the girl’s attention. I rub at my eyes and slowly I begin to see Robin clearly, who is holding my phone against her-

Shit, my phone!?

“Who is that?” I hiss. I don’t want to sound angry that she answered it because I don’t care however there is one person I don’t want her to talk to.

“He said his name is Antony,” she replies with a smile that I do not mimic.

Of course the one person I don’t want to hear Robin calls. I bite my lip out of nerves or fear I’m not entirely sure. “W-What does he want?”

“Oh he just asked where you were and I told him you were still sleeping,” Robin says with the phone now against her bare collarbone. She sits up in the bed, holding the sheets against her chest. “Do you want to talk to him?”

She hands me the phone and I so desperately want to rip it from her and shout and scream but…it isn’t her fault. She doesn’t know what’s going on so I slip on a pair of boxers and excuse myself, leaving Robin to stare cluelessly at me as I leave the room.

Once I’m out of hearing range I press the phone to my ear and try to say as calmly as possible, “Hey Antony.”

I knew the whole “staying calm,” thing wasn’t working. Even I heard how nervous my voice sounded.

“So you have a girlfriend now?” Oh don’t you just love how Antony gets straight to the point? Can’t he just…give me a moment to come up with an excuse?

“No,” I reply because we aren’t dating. Although we did sleep together but I’ll leave that part out. I bet he already figured it out or at least is thinking that’s what we did. “I just hung out with Mick and his girlfriend. She wanted to bring along a friend too and we’re all hanging out.”

We were all hanging out…until Robin and I came back to my dad’s apartment on our own. Said dad is not home yet, thankfully. That would make this all the more awkward.

“Is that so?” Antony doesn’t seem to be buying it. Of course he isn’t. It’s Antony, it’s like he can read minds or something. “Can I talk to Mick then?”

More biting of my lip occurs after hearing that. I bet by now it’s bleeding or it will be by the end of this phone call. I try to think of something to say, a reason not to hand the phone over to Mick who isn’t here. To be honest I can’t think of anything that would convince Antony.

But why am I even trying? Isn’t this what I wanted all along? I wanted Antony and I to be apart. I wanted to find myself a girl to keep myself from thinking of him. Now Antony is pissed and I bet he no longer wants anything to do with me. It’s perfect…

Right? This is what I want…isn’t it?

“Why do you want to talk to him? You two don’t know each other,” I reply because it’s the only thing I can come up with that doesn’t sound completely retarded.

Antony snorts in that ‘you honestly believe I’ll fall for that,’ kind of way, “So in other words he isn’t there and you two are alone. I wonder what teenagers do when they’re alone.”

“I’m not like most teenagers.” I obviously am.

Antony is silent for a few moments, as if he’s contemplating over saying what he wants to say. There’s a sigh before he says in a cruel tone I’ve never heard before, “Bishop come get your shit tomorrow, leave the spare key I gave you and go fuck yourself. If you come near me I’ll kick your ass so hard you’ll never walk again.”

I wasn’t able to reply to him since he immediately hung up afterwards. Even if he hadn’t hung up I’m not sure I would have been able to say anything. What could I say? Sorry? I doubt that would cut it. He’s pretty ticked at me, that much is obvious. He has every right to be.

Isn’t this…what I wanted though?

I wanted to forget about him so I’d stop thinking about him as much as I do. I wanted to return to normal thoughts, thoughts of girls, like Robin. I have a chance with her. She likes me, obviously she does and I could so easily date her but…somehow the thought doesn’t make me feel happy at all.

I regret it. I regret going out with her today. I regret having sex with her. I regret being such a dumb ass and trying to push Antony away when I can’t even stand it myself. I say I want to stop thinking about him but no matter what I do he still manages to plague me.

Now the more I think about it the less I want to lose him…