Always Attract : Josh Franceschi

"Josh please don't leave. I need you. I can't do this without you. I love you." I sat there crying, Josh is holding me on his couch.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. All I want to do is be friends right now. Im still so in love with you. The last year and a half changed my whole life. I'm going on tour for six months and I can't, you won't see me, and it'll kill me. I can't have you wait for me when i'm on tour. I want to still be friends, sctrach that, best friends. I will always love you. I want to be together again one day. I will think about you everyday. I promise, even if we do stop talking." He said quietly.

He kissed my temple, my heart sunk and crashed into a million little pieces.

I took his hand off of me and stood up and looked at him. My face is all puffy and red from crying so hard. It looked like he was crying also. I walked out the door, I walked out of his apartment, forgetting my keys.

Fuck it, I live a block away. I thought.

Josh ran out the apartment, "Blake, fuck what I just said. I'm sorry."

I turned around. It took all my strength not to run back into Josh's arms. "You only want to be friends and best friends it is Josh. Call me later, yeah?"

He stared as I walked home.

I opened the door and I see Max, Chris, Matt and Dan. I shut the door and everyone looks at me.

"Blake!" Chris says.

I ignore Chris and run straight to Max and begin to cry my eyes out again.

"Blake what's wrong?!" Max said while shaking me.

"Josh broke up with me!" I began crying even harder.

"What! Why?"

"Tour."

Max held me til I fell asleep. I woke up hours later, I'm still on the couch, I hear Josh's voice.

"Look i'm sorry, mate. I love her so much, but tour is going to take so much out of me, I'll just bring her down. Josh said.

"I know, but she cried for three hours, she thre up six times then finnaly fell asleep." Max said.

"Well, we have tour in the morning, we'll pull out of the hat and see who sleeps where. No complaining!" Chris said.

He pulled out of the hat. "Me and Max in here, Dan and Matt in Max's room, and Josh in Blake's room." Chris said.

Max came over and picked me up and brought me to my room. He put me on my bed, he brushed my hair away from my face and then shut the lights off and left the room. I began crying again. I turned on my lamp and went to my closet and changed into a tank top and short shorts. I turned the lights off and crawled back into my bed.

This is where Josh asked me out.

This is where Josh first kissed me.

This is where Josh said he loved me for the first time.

This is where Josh and I had sex for the first time.

I began crying again. It's four in the morning. My door opens and someone enters. they shut the door behind them. I really hope it's Max. The person crawled in bed with me. It's Josh. He picks up the covers, I move over, he lays down. Josh puts one of his hands around me and motions me to put my head on his chest.

I begin crying softly on his chest. He runs his fingers through my hair, and tells me everything is be okay.

"How the hell will everything be okay? You broke up with me You, you were the first one I loved, and the first one I lost. I fucked love you and you gave up on me." I said quietly.

"I on;y did what I did because of tour. I always want to be with you and forever. I will always love you, my love for you is beyond the stars in the sky." He said as pullling my brown bangs to behind my ear.

"You're chosing tour over me, Josh.We can just be together."

I can't. Right after we can start up again. I promise."

"It can be too late then Josh." I lifted my head and then sat up against the wall with my head between my knees.

"What do you mean by too late?"

"You could meet someone else, or have sex with somone else and forget about me!" I begin to cry again.

"Sh... don't cry..." He picked me up and put me on his lap. he reached over and turned on the light. "Blake, stop ocrying."

I'm crying even harder now.

"Why are you crying harder now!"

"This is everything you said and did before we had sex for the first time!"

He chuckled. "You're right. And this bed too, Then your brother almost walked in. And oh, you were amazing too. Don't worry, no sex on tour unlesss it's with you or you tell me straight to my face that you don't love me anymore."

"I can never say I'm not in love with you." I said.

"Please don't give up on me."

"I promise."

Him and I just looked at eachother, he moved his legs into a criss-cross and I wrapped my legs around him.

I wanted to kiss him so badly.Have his lips crash against mine. I already have his warmth, but his warmth just isn't mine. His breath is just so close. our forheads are touching and were staring at eachother . We looked at eachother for a half hour saying nothing.

"I want to kiss you so badly, but I can't." he said.

"Why?

"One you aren'tmie antmore, and I don't want to leave you hanging with just a kiss for the next six months."

"You're already leaving me hanging for allowing me on your lap."

"True."

Josh leaned for my lips, his lips touched mine, it's a soft gentile type of kiss. I kissed back harder, He kissed me back even harder and rough. He moved away from my lips, to my cheek. He wrapped his hands around me, then kissed my neck. He let go and then took my shirt off and threw it on the chair next to my table. He leaned us forward so i'm on my back. Josh continued to kiss me, every kiss a little lower. When he reached my pants, he took them off along with my underwear.

He brought his head back up and we looked at eachother. We both knew what we wanted. He leaned over and shut off the lights, and grabbed something from under the bed.

We kissed a little bit more, he reached down and unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. He opened whatever he got from under my bed, then realizing it was a condom. he smiled at me. I know I loved him, and I knew he loved me. He whispered, "You ready?" in my ear. I didn't resond back because if i open my mouth, "yes" wouldn't come out.

I know I shouldn't be doing this, I really shouldn't. Josh is leaving for six months, I'll hardly talk to him, he would be on stage, sleeping, or doing interviews or meeting fans.

As I felt him inside me, I remember the begining of the relationship, like how we fell in love, I began shaking, the pleasure was fantastic, it just kills me that he chose tour over love. I began crying with that thought came upon my mind. I softly moaned as I felt him go faster inside me. He kissed my neck, then my cheek, then my lips.

We both moaned as he finished. Josh stopeed moving and laid on me, he both were breathing really fast. the door swung open.

"Blake did you,get off my sister!" Max yelled.

All the boys were at my door in a matter of seconds.

"Guys, really go! Josh got off me and went of my side and laid next to me.

"Can you guys give us a moment?" I threw my pillow towards the door.

"That's is how long Josh took before he finished!" Max said before leaving and shutting the door.

Josh and I looked at eachother and laughed.

"This is what i'm going to miss. Josh, don't leave me I can wait til tour is over. We can make it work."

"Blake, I can't have you wait for me when i'll be married to the band."

"Remember when you said you were going to marry me in Arizona, America, have Humming birds sing when we said, 'I do', and that you were never going to leave me?"

"I remember."

"What about after tour tour, huh? What are we going to do? Before you said we can start up again, were you lying?"

"I don't know." He said softly.

"Okay." I got up and put back o my bra and panties.

"What do you mean by okay?"

"You said you don't know what you're going to do with us after tour." I walked over to my closet and found a light green dress and put it on.

"That looks absolutly beautiful on you." He said walking towards me.

I didn't say anything, I bent over to grab shoes. I felt Josh wrap his arms around me. I went back up ad turned around.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I said.

"I'm not doing anything."

"Okay."

"You're keys are on your night stand."

"Thank you."

Matt knocked on the door. "You ready? Were leaving in five."

I began crying again. Max my only brother is leaving for six months along the only boy I love.

I'm going to be a wreck, I know for a fact.

Josh hugs me for the last time and whispers " I love you" in my ear.

We both walk outside.

"You all ready? The stuff is packed and ready to go. This is going to be so much fun! Bye Blake!"Chris said in the van.

"Blake were all going to miss you, mostly me, I'll try and call you everyday. I'll tell you if i'm ever near home, and I think I will be in about five months. I love you sis. I'll shower everyday! I promise!" Maxhugged me and said, " Oh, I haven't showered in three days!" and ran to the van.

"If you're ever drunk and single call me one day!" Dan yelled from the front seat of the van.

Matt went up to me and lifted my up chin. "Chin up beautiful." And then kissed my forhead.

I knew Josh didn't like that and he was staring at me. He was the last to say goodbye.

We hugged tightly for a long time, he kissed me softly on the lips, he let go and walked towards the van, got in the drivers seat, and sped away.

At this moment, it finnaly hit me that the man I love, was driving away, and won't come back.