Warped Tour Romantics

I fucked up, I’m not a hundred percent sure what I did but I know I fucked up. I woke up thinking Kellin was on the bus, he wasn’t. Pat said he saw Kellin run off towards his bus last night. I was so drunk that I barely remember anything, I remember making out with him. I don’t remember beyond that. I roll out of bed and throw some clothes on. On the way out of the bus I grab some paracetamol and a bottle of water hoping it will help but even with my sunglasses, the sun beating down is almost too much for me to take.
I knock on the bus door and someone yells for me to come in. As soon as they see me their faces drop. Kellin is lying on the couch looking miserable.
“Get the fuck out, John.” Justin yells at me.
“Please just let me talk to Kellin. Kellin, I'm sorry.”
“Fuck off, John.” Gabe yells.
“Kellin, please babe.” I plead.
“John” he looked at me, his eyes big and sad “please, please just leave”
“Babe, I’m sorry. I would never purposely hurt you.” Kellin doesn’t look at me. I can’t help but notice his eyes start filling with tears and I fucking hate myself right now. I can’t believe I hurt the best think about my day. Gabe grabs me by the arm and pulls me off the bus.
“John go, you’re not fixing anything, you’re just going to make it worse.” He says, shoving me.
“Please tell me how to fix this because I can't fucking lose him. He is the best part of my day. I can’t even remember what happened, I was that drunk.” I admit.
“Shit John you know that’s not okay, right?” He asks me.
“I’m not fucking dumb Gabe, Jesus Christ.”
“Don’t be hostile with me, I’m trying to help you out even though to tried to force yourself upon my best friend three times before he pushed you off of him and he ran.” Gabe yells. I blink a few times. Oh fuck. That really did happen.
“How the fuck do I fix this?” I ask again.
“Give him time John, you know with his mom being so unsupportive he does not need a reason to buy into her bullshit. Don’t contact him for a few days and maybe you wanna think twice about getting that drunk again.”
“Fuck please make sure he doesn’t listen to her bullshit. I don’t wanna lose him. I know its only been a few weeks, can you try talking to him please?”
“I’ll try John, I’m not making any promises.” I thank him and walk back to my bus, unable to stop the tears building up.
I hop straight onto the bus and into my bunk. I pull out my phone and dial my mom's number.
“Hi son, how are you love?” She asks and I sob.
“I fucked up, momma.”
“Aww, son. Explain.” she demnands.
“Last night, Kellin and I were at a barbeque with some of the other bands and I had too much to drink, he pushed me off of him three times before he left. I fucked up. I tried to force myself upon him. I never meant to hurt him mom, I was so drunk. And his mom is being a bitch about him being with a guy. Fuck, I like him so much.” I tell her, through sobs and ugly crying.

“Calm down and take a breath” She tells me.
“Now tell me what you’re going to do.”
“I don’t know, mom. I went to talk to him this morning and he didn’t even really talk to me, he just looked so incredibly sad, Gabe said I just have to give him time.”
“He's right, John. I know Kellin really likes you, but you hurt him and he needs to know he is more than just sex to you, more than just something you want to get into bed, just give him a couple of days, love.”
“I hope he comes around mom, I really don’t want to lose him.”
“I know, John.”
“I love you, mom.”
“I love you too John, even when you’re an idiot and try to sex up my future son in law way before the wedding.” I can’t help but laugh.
“I never said anything about marrying the boy, mom.”
“But I know you will.”
“Sure, mom.”
“Okay bye John, I know I’ve told you this a thousand times, but its about time you cut back on your drinking son, its starting to hurt the people who are most important to you.” She tells me. I sigh, knowing she's right.
“Yeah mom, I’m gonna work on that. I love you, bye.” I hung up the phone and decide to text Kellin.
“Kellin, I’m really sorry. I am so, so sorry. I know I fucked up. I’m sorry I tired to pressure you into things you weren’t ready for. Fuck I’m not even ready for that when I’m sober. I never, ever want to hurt you. I’m gonna let you be for the next little while, if you want to talk, day or night just call or text. Sorry.” I send it off and try to sleep before our set.