Back to the Start

I walk into the building at eight on the dot, and see Kyle already sitting there, waiting. "Hi.", I smile shyly. 

He gets up as I approach him. "You look fantastic.", he says graciously. "Here.", pulling out a chair for me. "Sit down."

I giggle. It's been forever since someone did something like that for me. On a date that is. "Thanks."

"So, have you been here before?", he asks. 

"Oh gosh. Yea. Way back in the day. With the band actually. Their first public gig was here. John was so nervous, you don't even know. He's the lead singer by the way. He literally was so freaked out by the fog machine that he didn't look at the crowd once. It was pretty funny. And kind of brutal. First time being in a band and all that. It was nerve wracking for him, I suppose."

"You knew them that far back?"

"Oh yea. I knew Garrett and Pat way before they even formed he band."

"Oh. That's cool. How'd you know them do well?"

Shit. Sticky situation. I didn't want to go into my past with him, not to mention his cousin had a huge part to do with it. "Oh. Just school and stuff. And Gare and I were best friends.", I supply vaguely. 

"Right. You had mentioned that last time. Are they still in LA right now?"

Before I could answer, a huge group of people come in. Shit. It's them. And Sam. But no John. I hope they don't see me. Didn't I tell Sam that my date was here tonight? Why would she let them come? Turning my attention back to Kyle, I tease, "Why? You wanna meet them so soon?"

Laughing, he responds, "Just wondering."

The waiter comes over and places our orders. I can still see all of them at the bar laughing. And I can see Garrett. Has he seen me? Does he recognize his cousin? I hide my face as Jared looks around the room. Kyle notices. 

"What's wrong?", he asks. 

"Nothing. I thought I saw someone I recognize. And I don't want the person to see me."

"Oh. Ok.", says Kyle, who had begun fidgeting. "Just wondering, what was the man at the book store talking about when we were there? I didn't want to ask, but I've been dying to know."

Seriously? Why me? How do I do this without making it awkward. I decide to answer nonchalantly. "Nothing really. I used to date Garrett for a whole."

"Well...how long is 'a while'? Because that guy seemed to know you really well."

"Almost six years.", I mumble while looking down. 

Giving me a slightly confused look, he says, "Sorry? I couldn't really hear you."

Looking up at him, I ask, "Can we talk about something else now." I felt bad, snapping at him like that, but I wasn't up for an interrogation.

"Sorry.", he says tenderly. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

I force a smile at him. "It's fine." When I turn my head, I see the waiter coming with our food. As he moved away, my eyes collide with Garrett's. Shit. How long has he been staring? I pull my gaze away and refocus on Kyle. 

We start talking more, Kyle telling me the changes he's had to get used to in Tempe. Me telling him old Maine anecdotes and other moments he had missed out on in Gary's life since they lost touch as children. 

However, halfway through our meal, a very drunk Garrett walks over. "Hey Rachael darling.", he slurs. "You look real pretty tonight. Who you got there?"

Kyle gives me a questioning look. "Garrett.", I enunciate awkwardly, not sure of what to say. "This is Kyle...Monroe."

Despite him being way drunk, I see dim recognition in his eyes. He turns to Kyle. "Kyle Monroe. Remember me? Your cousin? What're you doing with my girl?"

His girl? "Garrett. It's been three years. You need to go talk to Falyn. How many times do I need to tell you?"

He turns his attention back towards me and shakes his head. Back to Kyle, he asks sarcastically, "Can I borrow her for a second?"

He pulls me with him before Kyle can say a thing. "Garrett. You're drunk.", I accuse. 

"Yea honey. It's what you do at a bar. You drink and get drunk.", he slurs back at me. 

"Not you.", I state. "So why're you here?"

"To see you of course, pretty.", sending me a crooked smile. My breath catches as he leans in closer, but I don't stop him. In a matter of seconds, his hands are tangled in my hair, his breath hot on my skin. My back is pushed up against the wall, and he's kissing me with more urgency than he ever has before. Then he pulls away and gives me a smile. He leans down to place a gentler, but still firm kiss on my lips. "Don't forget about me.", he whispers into my ear, and leaves. 

Shit. I slide down against the wall, with my head in my hands. Who am I kidding? I can't not love him, and I'll never get over him if he's anywhere near me. But he's always near me, whether it's in distance or in my own mind. I walk slowly back to Kyle. When I turn around, Garrett is still there, and he gives me a knowing smirk. I quickly turn my head back towards Kyle. Looking at Kyle, I feel sick, knowing that I'd never be able to give him anything he deserves. 

"Are you ok? Garrett came back a while ago.", he asks. 

"Uhh...actually, I'm really really sorry, but I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't."

He gives me a smile. "It's my cousin isn't it? You're still in love with Garrett."

My face flushes again. "Am I that easy to read?"

"Not really. But he obviously is. And you don't seem like the kind of girl to be pushed around, which naturally means you feel the same way."

I stare at him, impressed. "Maybe you missed your calling Monroe. Ever tried out law? Or psychology?"

He gives a short laugh. "Not my thing. But thanks. Good luck with him."

"Thanks.", I smile and give him a kiss on the cheek. "I think we'll all be great friends."

"Yea. I'm sure. Now go.", he urges, gently pushing me towards the direction of the bar.

"Thanks again. And I am sorry. You'll meet them soon enough, but I kind of want to go alone right now."

"I know. But seriously. You need to go talk to him now."

With a nod of my head, I turn towards my friends and take a deep breath. When I walk over, Garrett has his back faced towards me, and is downing shots. 

Glaring at everyone else, "Why are you guys letting him do this? You know he doesn't handle his alcohol well, and him being hungover is a bitch to deal with!"

Garrett turns around. "Hey. Back for some more?", he asks suggestively. I hear Sam and the boys snicker next to me. I glare at them again with look that said to shut up. 

"I'm taking him home. He's not doing any of you any good by getting plastered tonight.", I say frowning. "Come on Gare.", I say helping him up. "Let's get you home."

I drag him up to his doorstep, and ring the doorbell. Mrs. Nickelsen opens the door. "Oh. Rachael. Well, we haven't seen you in a long time. You look beautiful. What do you have there?"

"Hi Mrs. Nickelsen.", I smile easily. She always made me feel like home. "Just your delinquent son. I think the boys let him have too much fun, and much too early. Just...making sure he got home safely."

"Thanks sweetie.", she smiles warmly at me. "Do you think you can take him in? I actually have something on the stove right now."

"Yea! Sure. Of course. You should probably get back to that. I'll get him to his room."

"Thanks darling. You're a life saver. We got food down here, like always, of you're hungry.", she says while hurrying back to the kitchen. 

"Oh. Thanks, but I ate already. I'll just get him to bed and be out of your hair.", I tell her. 

"Ok sweetie. But you're welcome to stay if you want.", she replies, her head peeking out of the kitchen door. 

I pull Garrett upstairs, since he was barely conscious. "Gary. You're home.", I tell him as I help him to his bed.

As I turn to leave, he hooks his arm around my waist. "Stay with me. Please."

Knowing that he won't be able to hear, or remember, my reply, I give in and crawl into bed next to him, turning off the light. In the dark, I push back his hair from his eyes and stare at the peaceful face in front of me. I know now that I'd never been given the time or chance to fall out of love with him, and that now I never will. I press my lips to his forehead and whisper, "I love you Gare. Always have, always will." As I close my eyes, I see him form a small smile. 

I'm awoken by a Love is Hell ringtone. Shaking my head, I realize that I was still in Gare's room and it was his room. Without looking at the caller ID, I pick up. 

"What the hell happened Garrett. Fay has been locked in her apartment for over two weeks now and she won't tell me what's going on. The only reason I can even get in is because she gave me the spare before going to Arizona. What the fuck did you do and why haven't you called or texted her or anything?!" I guess she realized that I hadn't said anything, and asked, "Hello Gare? Say something."

Shit. "Uhh...who is this?", I ask cautiously. 

"What the fuck.", I hear on the other end. "Who are you?"

"I'm Rachael. Who are you?", I ask back just as snarkily.

"I'm Monica. And I'm Falyn's best friend. And I want to know what the fuck is going on and why you're with him."

"Ok. First. Who are you to talk to me like that? Second. Your friend broke up with Garrett. Third. I'm with him because I love him."

"No you're not.", she scoffs. "What girl cheats on a guy she loves? Falyn and Garrett are in love with each other. I would know. I saw how happy they made each other."

"Really? Because all I saw was her causing Garrett anger and frustration. That doesn't seem like a couple in love to me.", I retort. 

"Well, it's all your fault you home wrecker! They barely fought before the two of you started talking again."

"I don't even know you! And you don't know me. You have no right to say any of that to me!", I say. Then I hear Garrett move behind me, and the phone disappears out of my hand.

"Who is this and what are you saying to Rachael.", he practically growls into the phone. With his other hand, he pulls me back into him. 

I hear unclear shrieks on the other end of the phone. "Calm down Monica. My head hurts and I'm hungover. So I can't understand a word you're saying."

"Classy Garrett. Drunken sex with an ex. Falyn deserves better than that.", I hear on the other end. 

"Nothing happened Monica! She took me home because I drank too much. And so? She's the one who broke up with me. Why do you even care?"

More shrieking on the other end, and I see him wince. I pull myself closer to him and smooth his hair back, attempting to tame it. He's holding the phone a few inches away from his ears now. When the yelling dies down, he talks again. "I can't understand anything you're saying right now. So you can call me back when you're ready to apologize to Rachael and when you're calmer."

"Garrett.", I say hesitantly. "I need to go home. And I left my phone in the car."

He doesn't let go of me. "I don't feel well. I have a hangover, and my head hurts.", he whines. "I need someone to take care of me.", giving me his signature pout. 

"I'll come back. But I need to get out of these clothes and get my phone.", I tell him. 

"No.", and he pulls me back down to him, peppering kisses along my jawline. "You're not allowed to leave."

"Garrett.", I sigh. 

"Fine.", he lets go of me. "Promise?"

I roll my eyes giggling. "Promise."

As I head outside into the smoldering Arizona heat, I can't help but think today's a beautiful day.