I Don't Love You, Like I Did Yesterday

Lex's P.O.V.

I stared ahead at Mattie, his blue eyes boring into mine. Everything around us was dead silent, and I couldn't break my gaze from his. The half-full beer can in his hand fell from his hand and hit the bleacher below us, splashing onto our shoes before falling with a soft thud into the grass. Not a word was spoken, and I silently prayed that this wouldn't be repeat of last time, when he had caught Ronnie and I fooling around three years ago on the tour bus.

"Ma-" He cut me off by standing up, and I followed his movements frantically.

"I knew it would happen sooner or later." He turned to me with tears in his eyes and smiled. I stood quickly, dropping my own can and letting it roll off the bleachers.

"What?" My voice broke and I found myself swallowing thickly to try to calm down.

"That you'd become his in every sense of the word. I felt like I had all the time in the world to win you over." I felt tears sting my eyes and stepped closet to Mattie, who was facing me, smiling sadly.

"You never told me, I-" He cut me off again before stepping forward to cup my cheeks with his palms.

"It wouldn't have made a difference. Because, in reality, I never had a chance. Even though you weren't together for long, and he much such stupid mistakes, he's had your heart since the day we got signed." Mattie tried to blink his tears away as he spoke softly, and I felt my heart breaking in my chest.

"It's not for sure... I may not be, I'm just saying, there's a small chance. It wasn't something I planned, you probably already knew that though. I never dreamed of gettin' married and having kids, I just wanted to come home. And this is what I got with it." I said softly and looked down at my beer-soaked shoes, letting a few tears slip down my cheeks.

"I know, Lex. You just wanted to come home." He pulled me into his arms and I leaned my head on his shoulders before letting my arms wrap around his neck. I felt him lean his cheek against my head before he spoke.

"I wish I could be upset with you, but you make it so damn hard." He laughed softly against my hair and tightly wrapped his own arms around my shoulders.

"Mattie?" I asked quietly into his Eminem T-shirt that actually was mine.

I guess he's been staying in my room.

"Yeah?" He exhaled and I hugged him tighter. I didn't trust my voice, and began to feel myself falling apart.

"I scared." I sobbed lightly and gripped his shirt.

"I know." He sang softly. "But you'll find out soon, right?" I nodded against him and sucked in a breath of air before we finally pulled away, taking in the sight of tears spilling down our cheeks. After a moment, Mattie leaned down and brushed his lips over mine quickly before pulling back to kiss me on the forehead.

"I don't care how much Ronnie and I don't get along. I will always be here. For you... and if you are pregnant, for the kid too. I love you babygirl. I just want you to be happy." I smiled and reached behind us to grab what was left of the case of beer.

"Will you try to be civil with Ronnie then?" I asked hopefully, giving him the saddest look I could muster. His face dropped and he eyed me as if I was crazy.

"You're out of your rabbit ass mind." He said before jumping down into the grass. I jumped down and followed him out of the park quickly, no doubt shaking up the beer in the cardboard case. I made a mental note not to drink any for at least a half hour.

"Mattie! I didn't say make out with him!" I pleaded as we got to the car. He shook his head as he unlocked his door, the newer model Honda automatically unlocking the passenger's side. I tossed the beer into the backseat and climbed in.

Mattie shot me a glance as he stared the car. I grabbed his pack of cigarettes and stole one, lighting it up immediately. I let my head land against the seat, savoring the cancer stick, which always tasted better with alcohol.

"I wouldn't wanna give ya any ideas." He looked at me out of the corner of his eye before stealing the cigarette from between my fingers and taking a few drags.

"You said you wanted me to be happy." I whined slightly. "And you guys got along before we got together." I trailed off as we turned onto my street.

"You mean before I caught you guy fucking in the bunks." He sighed as we pulled up into of my house.

"We were not fucking" I rolled my eyes at the boy in the driver's seat next to me before he lit the car in park and took the keys out of the ignition. He let his hand fall onto his lap with a slap and shook his brown hair out of his eyes.

"Yet." He mumbled. I groaned.

"Aren't we passed all this?" I rolled my head against the headrest to look at him with tired eyes, probably messing up my ponytail.

"Yes, Alexandria." He smiled at me. "I just dunno if we'll ever get along. There's a hell of a lot of tension there, ya know." He ran his hands over his face.

"Try? Just be civil, not even nice, just civil. Please?" I pouted. After a short pause, and Mattie catching a look at me.

"Damn puppy dog face." He grumbled as he swung open his door and stepped out. I followed, shutting the door behind me, leaving the beer in he car intentionally, there was enough problems between my boyfriend and I. I also knew he'd probably be a little put off by the fact that I reeked of it, even though that wasn't intentional. Now top it all off with bringing my close friend/bandmate who he previously had a huge feud with, and you get one pissed off Ronnie.

"Thank you so much, Mattie. You have no idea." I looked at him seriously as we padded up the walkway to the steps.

"Yeah, I know, Lex. I know."