A Coward 'Till The End, Lies.

'You only ever touch me in the dark,
Only if we're drinking can you see my spark,
And only in the evening,
Could you give yourself to me,
'Cause the night is your women,
And she'll set you free.'

xXx Present Day xXx

Stiles wakes up alone, again, she's gotten used to waking up in strong pale arms, her head cusioned on a brilliantly muscled..."Oh my god Stiles stop that thought right there!" This is a Derek Hale free zone from now on. No more Alpha werewolves playing games with her head, no siree bob!

She makes her way downstairs after getting dressed in a fresh pair of sweats and her dad's old police academy tshirt. She makes breakfast, cooking enough to feed three, or well, one and a hungry werewolf, "Ahh crap!" Thats a dollar for the nothinkingaboutDerek jar.

Cursing, she celophanes the extra bacon sandwiches and puts them in her fridge for her dad, not anyone else, nope, not at all.

"Okay Stiles focus, do not think about sour broody werewolves. Think of the 20 pages of course work you havent done instead." Stiles feels suddenly calmer, all thoughts of Der...

"Ahh SHIT!"

Stiles sprints back up stairs, crap she'd totally forgotten about her coursework! Finstock was going to KILL HER!

Four hours and more adderall than was strickly legal later she finally finished her course work. She still had a few hours till her dad gets home so she decides to pack her books ready for school on Monday and pick out an outfit in true Lydia fashion. She's never been so orginized for school ever.

She manages to do nothing for a whole hour before giving up on trying to distract herself and cooking a dinner for one, which she eats whilst watching The I.T Crowd, still alone, still in her big empty house that had been brought anticipating a big family and not a struggling, single father who works a little too much and an adderall abusing, teenage, tom boy who hangs out with werewolves, both of whom have a huge mum sized hole that was nowhere near being filled.

Sunday used to be her favourite day of the week when she was younger, she and her mum would always spend the entire day baking cupcakes or painting or playing outside in the woods behind their house, forever making a mess and causing chaos.

At around fiveish her dad would order take away and they'd all curl up in the living room with blankets and pillows and Stiles' home made, patchwork quilt that her mum had spent the entirerty of her pregnancy knitting, (she'd given up soon after Stiles was born and according to Stiles' dad, had hurled the knitting needles into the pond at the bottom of their garden with a triumphant yell), and they'd watch old black and white films about star crossed lovers with impeccable manners and rediculous accents, mocking them the whole time.

Stile would always fall asleep with her head in her mums lap, her feet in her dads surrounded by love and warmth and family.

Recently things had been a little different, her and her father still got take away but now they watched up-to-date films, anything with action or superheroes in it that they could talk trash about and rewrite the scripts the way they wanted them to go, they'd have a little cuddle but would always end up in their own beds instead of sleeping on the couch.

In the last few months theyd been joined by Derek as he wouldnt leave Stiles unattended whilst she was still injured and as the alpha that meant that wherever he went his lap dogs werent far behind and before the Stilinski's knew it, father-daughter bonding night turned into father-daughter-pack bonding nights. There were fights over films, at least four or five different kinds of take out skattered on the coffee table and once they had tired themselves out they'd all fall asleep in sleeping bags on the livingroom floor prefering to create a kind of mock puppy pile up instead of using the guestrooms upstairs.

It was loud and chaotic and whilst Stiles was still recovering, slightly dangerous, but it brought life and happiness and a sence of the big family the Stilinski's had always wanted into their haunted home so, they didnt mind too much.

But, alas, even that wasnt happening today, her dad was working a shift due to the dissapearance of some women from the edge of town, Lydia was being forced into a family dinner with her divorcing parents which would end up with Lydia getting some useless, expensive gift to make up for them being shitty parents, Scott and Alison were on a date since her parents were out of town so they can make out all they want without fear of Alison's dad blowing Scotts brains out and Jackson wouldnt set foot in her house without Derek around and Derek... Well, there was still no development there. Stiles was hurting and he could go screw himself as far as she cared... Hmm, that almost sounded convincing.

Stiles let out a long sigh pouring herself an orange juice and flopping down at the kitchen table. Crying to Lydia had made her feel both better and worse, better because she'd had a chance to let everything out to someone who knew them both and had her back but worse because it made the situation real. Derek didnt want Stiles, Derek wants Stiles to leave Beacon Hills, Stiles isnt and never will be Derek's Mate.

She almost wishes she could go back seven months and say no when he crawled into her bed and into her heart.

As soon as the thought crosses her mind she dissmisses it, she may not be Derek's mate but she was pretty sure he was it for her and now... Now she's left with memories of the best she'll ever have, "Ughh god Stiles you sound like some bimbo chick on some stupid reality show!" she chasted herself alound, the silence of her house mocking her.

They always say its better to have loved and lost then to never love in the first place... That sort of sounded like bullshit to Stiles, what kind of dumbass wrote that, probably a man, yup, she'd bet her collage scholaship on it!

"Ughhhh" Stiles dropped her head to the heavy oak of the kitchen table, banging it against the surface a few times.

She had a month before graduation. A month until she had to say goodbye to Beacon Hills, and by accociation, Derek, for good.

She would only be a five hour drive away, she would still see Scott and Alison who were attending UCLA together and Lydia had promised to go and stay with Stiles every chance she gets when shes not at MIT. (Lydia is insainly good at maths, she told Stiles she'd been hiding her way, way, WAY higher than average grades from everyone since she was a kid but now she was telling everyone. It was good bye school bitch and hello super smart, super sexy, best friends with Stiles, Lydia Martin.)

Jackson had mentioned going to Berkley once or twice but he probably wouldnt seperate from the pack so he'd end up going to UCLA, Stiles assumed Derek would be going with them after all you cant have a pack without an alpha. Huh, pack. Two years ago Stiles would have laughed in the face of whoever told her shed be a part of a werewolf pack, yet here she was.

She wouldnt be pack once she left Beacon Hills though, she wasnt bound by blood or sire bond, Stiles was 100% pure bred human, she wasnt even the girlfriend of any of them, she was just the token hyperactive human who had had a brief sexual relationship with the alpha that was now over and as soon as she moved out of Beacon hills her connection would be severed... Everything would change.

She was gonna need something stronger than orange juice.

xXx 5 months earlier xXx

It was all too much.

Too hot and too fast and too good and "Ohmygodyestheretherethere!"

The wall was freezing against Stiles' heated skin but she could barely feel it as Derek was burning through her body, boiling the blood in her veins, seeping the hot touch of him into her very bones.

Sharp teeth on the edge of becoming fangs nipped and grazed the length of her jaw, dragging down her throat untill he was sucking deep bruises onto the perfect ivory skin of her collarbone.

His hands were everywhere all at once, a trail of fire being left in their wake. Fingertips digging into her hips marking her, "Mineminemine."

With a spine tickling growl that shouldnt have been such a turn on but totally was, Derek picked her up, hands clasped under her thighs to wrap around his naked waist, his arousel thick and hard against her core.

The sounds escaping her mouth would make a porn star blush but god was it good, she'd never felt so alive and desperate to claw out of her own skin and into his.

'It couldnt possibly get any better than this'. she thought dizzily as two thick fingers rubbed her in circles until up was down and left was right.

Her world shattered into blissful shuddering pieces as she peaked, shaking in strong arms that were the only thing anchoring her to the earth.

It couldnt possibly get any better until suddenly it did as he tossed her onto his bed, crawling in between her spread legs to swipe his sinful tongue against her clit whilst rolling the hard nub of her nipple between his fingers.

"Ugh fuck, OhmygodDerekyou'reagod."

He chuckled against her sweet spot rattling her bones with his hot breath before sliding up her body to kiss her deep and wet and dirty as fuck.

"You ready Stiles?" he asked panting into her neck as he pulled away for breath.

Stiles could barely wait, she needed him so bad it hurt.

"YES! Yes! Always! Nownownow."

Hazel eyes gave way to crimson as he thrust inside her completely to the hilt and "Perfect, shit Stiles, you're so perfect."

Stiles was beyond words at this point, just mumbling random sounds and 'fuck' and on the verge of whimpering Dereks name because this was it for her.

It wouldnt matter how many times they did this it would never get old, never be any less amazing, it would never be anthing other then perfect.

They fit like puzzle pieces made uniquely for eachother.

"YESYESYES! Right there! Fuck! YES!"

Derek was pounding into her like it was the last time he'd ever have sex and Stiles was arching into his slick, sexy as fuck body and pulling him even deeper as if her life depended on it.

"Fuck Stiles I'm gonna cum, ugh cum with me baby. Come on. Cum with me," Dereks voice was rough and dark and demanding, his hands tangled in her wavy brown hair tilting her head back to suck on the sensitive part of her throat.

That was all Stiles needed to crash over the edge, clinging to his broad shoulders and shaking from head to toe whilst Derek slammed into her one last time, teeth embedded in her shoulder as he spilled himself inside.

Stiles was wrecked, exhausted and blissed out, a dopey smile tattooed onto her full red lips.

High on his orgasm, Derek pressed a tender kiss to Stiles' beautiful lips before curling her into the protective circle of his arms, careful to mind her claw marks still tender from Peter's attack.

She was marked in more ways then one now, and with the knowlege that no one would touch what was so obviously his, he joined Stiles in sleep.

xXx Present Day xXx

The charred inner wall of Derek's living room didnt stand a chance as he smashed his curled up fist through it.

He barely felt the bursting of his knuckles or the itchy sensation as they knitted themselves back together.

It felt as though there was an icy blade shoved deep in his chest and it was so fucking painful to breathe past it, his head was spinning worse than the night he and Stiles drank tequila at Jackson's halloween party. The memory of that night was playing in his brain before he could stop it.

He'd barely been able to walk that night he was so drunk yet he'd managed to shred the flimsy french maid costume Stiles had been made to wear after she lost a bet with Lydia and slam her against a wall.

He'd been so drunk he hadnt been able to talk but hed somehow managed to tell Stiles that she was beautiful and perfect and a fucking tease for letting people that werent him look at her and talk to her and touch her.

He hadnt been able to remember a number for a cab or even how to work his own phone but he'd had no problems sucking a deep violet bruise onto the the slope of her throat before swallowing her cries for 'moremoremore'.

He hadnt been able to turn the world the right way up but hed managed to make love to Stiles until neither of them could move or do anything but pant and grin and and colapse into blissed out sleep.

God he was such a fuck up!

Derek picked up the charred remains of the coffee table and hurled it all the wall cauing a shower of splinters to rain down on him as the table shattered into pieces.

He loved Stiles, she was his mate, his everything and he was pushing her away, he was hurting her, breaking her heart as well as his own.

It was for the best.

But I am miserable.

But she'll be safe.

But I'll be miserable!

She can live a proper life this way, no threat of hunters killing her or rogue wolves attacking her because she smells like pack. No, this way she can get married and have kids and...

His inner wolf howled out inside of him at the thought of their mate with someone else.

'A werewolf who loses his mate loses himself'.

He rememers his mum telling him how werewolves mate for life, there was no escaping them once your inner wolf recognized them as 'the one' and if your mate dies your inner wolf dies along with them. A lot of werewolves had perished simply from grief.

Stiles' life was more important than his happiness, she'd almost died once because of him, she'd literally been ripped to shreds, he had almost lost her, lost her in the way that he would never be able to come back from, he couldnt risk that again, as long as she was alive and happy, Derek would be alive. He could live without her being his but the thought of a world without her in it made him want to curl up and simply wait for death.

The birds flocked away from the burnt out Hale house as a heart breaking howl tore through the night.

Derek had to do this, Stiles was so young, 18 was a time for living, Derek was so unbeilievably wrong for her, he had to let her go; it was the right thing to do.