The Worst Choice

I smiled, watching Nash play with Eric on the swings. Eric kept on insisting that he wanted to go higher and higher, so high that he could fly with the eagles, which were his latest obsession. Nash laughed and told him that he was pushing him as high as he could go, although Nash was barely putting any back into it. He didn’t want Eric falling and getting hurt. It was adorable how fragile big, bad Nash had been with his little brother since Carrie moved Eric and her into a small house only a few blocks away and invited Nash to move in, which he obviously accepted. He’d had the option to keep his old house – which was in his mother’s will anyway – but he declined, telling them to do whatever they’d like with it. He only got a few pictures and even fewer items before walking out because he didn’t want the memories of all the bad things.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Nash asked, walking over and taking a seat next to me on the bench of a wooden picnic table.

I shrugged, smiling slightly as I looked at him. “Nothing, just watching you,” I told him honestly. I eyed the now pinkish burn mark on the side of his neck. “How’re you feeling?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m okay, Ashlyn, really. I don’t remember when the last time I could honestly say that besides now,” he insisted. “All you keep worrying about is scars, not open wounds, which means that the problem is over and done with.”

I laughed. “How philosophical of you,” I said sarcastically.

He chuckled, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “Really though, stop worrying. You’re gonna start getting more gray hair,” he teased, poking the side of my head.

My jaw dropped. “Stop!” I told him, smacking his chest. A couple weeks ago Nash had found a small gray strand of hair mixed in with the black and hadn’t stopped making fun of me about it since. “I’m gonna break with you,” I warned but he didn’t look the least bit worried.

“Ah, no you won’t. I’m irresistible,” he claimed. Before I could reply, Eric was calling for Nash again to watch a trick he can do on the monkey bars. “Come on,” he said, standing up and tugging on my hand.

“No, I’m fine here. I feel bad for crashing your park day anyway,” I tried but Nash kept tugging my hand until he pulled me up, ignoring my argument. I smiled as we walked over to the monkey bars, thinking about how perfect everything was.

Almost too perfect.

My eyes flew open as I heard a crash of thunder outside of the window. I was in what didn’t look like my room but with how dark it was both in and outside it could’ve easily been my own room.

Was it all just a dream? The park, Eric, Nash… I couldn’t remember. It felt so real but at the same time it felt too surreal. Anything I tried to remember about after I got out of the hospital just felt like a dream I was trying to force into a memory. What was going on?

I nearly fell out of the bed when the bedroom door opened and a flashlight shined into my eyes, making it difficult to see who it was. “Eric, I told you to not shine it at her. She probably woke up just to be blinded,” Nash’s voice scolded the little boy.

The light was now pointed directly at Nash’s face, who immediately shut his eyes. “Sorry, Ashlyn,” Eric apologized cutely.

“Ow, okay, it’s my eyes now that you’re blinding,” Nash complained. “Here, go take that back to Carrie. Tell her we’ll be out there in a second.” Eric nodded before running off. “Be careful, it’s dark and you’ll trip on something!” he instructed before he walked into what I realized was now his room with a small candle but I barely noticed. It wasn’t a dream. Everything I thought I was trying to force into a memory was actually a memory. It actually happened and Nash is okay. “I swear, that kid is going t-“ I jumped off the bed, nearly falling over something on the floor as I threw my arms around Nash, cutting his sentence off. “Careful! I have a lit candle in my hand,” he warned but I didn’t loosen my grip on him. He finally returned the hug with his free arm. “You okay?”

“Yes, I’m more than okay. I’m perfect,” I whispered into his shirt.

“Not that I don’t appreciate this but why the sudden death grip hug?” he questioned, pulling back as much as he could. I released my grip and simply shrugged. He narrowed his eyes at me, clearly trying to figure it out himself. “You didn’t have another one of those dreams, did you?”

“Maybe,” I murmured.

He sighed. “I lose my nightmares only to have you get more,” he mumbled quietly.

“They aren’t nightmares though,” I interjected before he could say anything else. “They’re the opposite, actually. They’re good dreams – or memories, I guess? This one was when you and Eric were at the park and then you invited me to meet you guys there. Nothing special but just happy moments, I guess,” I explained with a shrug.

“I know but you always wake up freaked out and thinking I died or something,” he argued. “Are you sure you’re okay? Maybe you should go to the doctors about it.”

“It’s fine,” I insisted. “It’s only been my third one in a month and it was probably only triggered by the storm. I’d say that’s pretty good.”

He stared at me a little longer before sighing. “Alright, if you say so. But if this continues, you’re going to the doctors, okay?” he asked but it was more of an order.

“Okay,” I promised. “So how long has it been storming and how long have I been asleep?”

“You’ve been asleep for a few hours. I got out of the shower and you were passed out on the bed,” he informed me. “It’s only been storming maybe twenty minutes? But the power’s out and the roads are bad.”

My eyes widened. “How am I supposed to get home?” I asked.

“Carrie talked to your mom and you’re allowed to stay the night if it doesn’t clear up within the hour,” he said. “But she’s got strict orders to make sure I stay on the couch and don’t find my way into bed with you again.”

I blushed. The day that Nash moved in with Carrie I had helped out not only with Nash’s things but unpack the rest of the house. It took all day and around ten o’clock; I called my mom and begged her to stay the night. I promised that we wouldn’t sleep together and I’d be home the next morning. She agreed and Carrie promised to make sure that nothing happened. Nash tried to sleep on the floor in his bedroom but when Carrie kicked him out and onto the couch, he only waited until she fell asleep to slip into his bed with me. It was only supposed to be for a little bit but we both fell asleep and when my mom showed up at the door the next morning, bright and early, Nash was found in the bed with me. We hadn’t done anything but my mom was convinced otherwise. “That definitely won’t happen,” I assured him.

He smirked. “We’ll see about that,” he said. “But there’s a high-class dinner waiting for us in the kitchen and mustn’t keep them waiting. You hungry?”

“Starving,” I responded. He took my hand and carefully led me out of his messy room and into the kitchen, where candles were lit all around. Carrie and Eric were already at the table and eating sandwiches and chips.

“Couldn’t even wait for us?” Nash joked as he took a seat in the chair next to Eric.

“You took too long and my tummy was growling!” Eric told him. I laughed as I sat in the chair between Nash and Carrie.

“I hope the thunder waking you up didn’t put you in too bad of a mood,” Carrie joked. “And even if it did, my fantastic home cooking will make you feel better.”

I laughed, grabbing one of the sandwiches from the plate. “I’m actually in a great mood,” I told her honestly. She smiled at me before scolding Eric, who was trying to shove the second half of his sandwich into his mouth. I laughed and continued smiling when I noticed Nash grinning at me and I realized that I couldn’t have been more truthful with Carrie.

Being around Nash and knowing that he’s okay makes me happy enough and I couldn’t ask for more.