Last To Know

Johnny stormed into his house, slamming the door shut angrily. He felt hurt, betrayed, angry, and it was all because of one fucking girl. He never thought a girl could make him feel this way, never thought it was possible for a girl to do that much emotional damage. He thought this kind of pain was something only girls could feel when guys broke their heart. He had no idea a girl was capable of breaking his heart too.

He grabbed his girlfriend’s suitcases, throwing everything that belonged to her in them. He didn’t want to see them anymore. He wanted it all out. It was bad enough living in a house that he’d bought with her. He didn’t want her personal things there. Clothes, makeup, jewelry, any sort of trinkets that belonged to her were thrown haphazardly into the suitcases until he couldn’t fit anything else in them.

He forced them shut, made the zipper close even though it was protesting him. Then he grabbed the handles of the suitcases and walked to the top of the stairs before he dropped them to the floor and one by one threw them down the stairs. He hoped he broken something that held some sort of sentimental value to her, something that couldn’t be replaced. At least that way he could say he had done something to hurt her, even if it wasn’t anything compared to the hurt she’d caused him.

As soon as he flung the last bag down the stairs, he slumped against the wall. He’d really thought she’d be different, thought she wouldn’t treat him like shit, the way most girls treated him. It turned out he was wrong, and that hurt. What made it worse was that it wasn’t just her that had betrayed him. He’d also been betrayed by one of his best friends.

Johnny walked out of the mall, a couple of bags in his hand. Most of the bags contained new clothes for him. He was starting to run out of decent clothes. The ones he had were either too old for wear, too small to wear anymore, or stained heavily. He didn’t want to look like a slob.

One of the bags however held a gift for his girlfriend. He’d happened to walk by the toy store in the mall, and one of the teddy bears in the display at the front window had caught his attention. Johnny knew he had to get it for Emiliana. She was going to love it the moment she saw it.

Johnny walked to his truck, unlocking the door and tossing the bags across the seat. He climbed in next, shutting the door and turning on the ignition. He kept the truck in park while he fiddled with his phone, checking his missed calls and unread texts. He was a little disappointed that Emiliana hadn’t texted him or anything, but he brushed it off. He could live without her checking in every hour or so. It wasn’t like he was her dad or anything.

After deciding that his messages could wait for a reply, Johnny tossed his phone into the passenger seat, buckling his seat belt and turning the radio onto a rock station. He put the truck into drive and pulled out of his parking space. He drove slowly towards the mall’s exit, not wanting to end up in a crash in the parking lot.

It was while he was stopped at the traffic light that he spotted her. She was walking with Brian towards her car. Johnny frowned, wondering why she hadn’t mentioned that she was spending time with Brian. She knew that Johnny didn’t particularly like Brian being alone with her. It was obvious that Brian wanted her, and Johnny didn’t like that. Brian wasn’t exactly a guy that would keep it in his pants.

Needless to say, Johnny was pissed when Brian pushed Emiliana up against her car and started kissing her. He saw red when she didn’t even push him away; instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. This was the girl he’d fallen in love with and had spent the last two years of his life fully committed to. How could she betray him like that? He wanted to scream, to run over there and beat the shit out of his so called “friend”, to call Emiliana a good for nothing cheap whore. So many emotions ran through him, and he didn’t know which one to act on.

When the light turned green, he pressed his foot on the gas pedal and just went home. He wasn’t ready to face either of them yet. He’d wait to confront her.

Johnny sat on his couch, staring at the wall as he drank his beer with several empty beer cans scattered around him. He’d been waiting for over an hour for Emiliana to come home. He figured that she had probably gone back to Brian’s house, that she was fucking Brian in his house. He just couldn’t wrap his head around it.

Was he not good enough for her? Was he not good looking enough? Could he not satisfy her needs? What had he not done right? He just wanted to know what he had done wrong, what he could’ve done to stop this. How long had this even been going on? How long had both Emiliana and Brian been lying to his face while they fucked behind his back?

He heard the door open and turned his head as Emiliana walked inside. He felt a pang in his chest as he saw her. Her long blonde hair pushed back behind her ears the way he liked it. She used to hide behind her hair when they first met. He’d managed to convince her that she looked better when it was out of her hair after a few months of dating. She wore a red off the shoulder top, one of the shirts he’d loved seeing her wear, and a pair of shorts.

As she shut the door, Johnny watched as she noticed the suitcases that were scattered near the door. She knelt down next to them, opening one of them to find her things inside of it. He watched as her full lips turned down in a frown, and she turned to look at him, her green eyes questioning him silently.

“I saw you,” Johnny stated, the alcohol in his system causing him to slur his words heavily. One of her shaped eyebrows rose, but she still didn’t say a word. Johnny thought it was better that she didn’t talk. He would break down if he heard her voice, and he didn’t want her to see that. “I saw you with him.”

He watched as realization took over her features, and for a moment she looked terrified. It quickly turned into an expression of guilt, her green eyes filled with her silent apology. She opened her mouth to say something, but Johnny shook his head. He felt his eyes sting with tears, but he didn’t want to cry in front of her. Not when she was the reason he felt this way.

“We’re done, Emiliana,” he said. He saw her wince when he said he full name. He rarely ever called her Emiliana, preferring to call her Emi. It was something special between them because he was the only one to ever call her Emi. “Just take your shit and leave. I don’t want you here anymore.” He saw her eyes shine with tears, and he wanted to laugh. What right did she have to cry when she was the one who had cheated on him?

Indecision played on her features for several moments. She’d start to pick up a suitcase before she’d pull her arm back. She’d start to take a step forward before pulling her leg back. Her eyes never left him though, but all he did was glare at her.

After several tense and silent minutes, she sighed, her shoulders dropping in defeat. She picked up her suitcases, glancing sadly back at him, apology in her eyes. Johnny just stared back emotionless until she opened the door and walked outside. She came back a minute later to grab the last bag, and she dropped her house key on the table next to the door. The door shut behind her, and a minute later he heard her car start and drive away. He knew she’d probably go stay with Brian. She’d probably cry, and Brian would “comfort” her. What did she see in him? He just wanted sex.

Johnny let out a choked sob. No one was here. No one would see him cry while he felt like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest and stomped into pieces. He hated how he was left feeling so broken just because of one girl. He hated how she had done it so easily. She hadn’t seemed like a heartbreaker when he’d first met her.

Johnny sighed as he walked into his apartment building. After two years of non-stop touring, he would finally get a break and be able to relax. He wouldn’t have to worry about travelling, signing autographs, playing gigs. He could just spend the day on his couch, naked and jacking off while he watched pornos.

Just as he reached the floor where his apartment was located, he spotted her. All he could see was her back, and he heard her soft grunts. As he neared her, he noticed she was carrying a couple of boxes in her arms. Being the guy who always helped a pretty girl in need, Johnny walked over to her, coming to stand in front of her.

“Want some help?” he asked. He just barely managed to catch her eye over the top of the boxes.

“Please?” Her voice was muffled behind the box, but Johnny reached under her arms and took them with ease. “Thanks,” she replied.

“No problem,” he told her with a smile. “Where to?”

“Apartment 3E,” she replied.

“Right next door to mine. I’m Johnny.”

“Emiliana.” As they walked towards her apartment, Johnny glanced over to look at her. She wore a ratty looking t-shirt and ragged jean shorts. Her long blonde hair was hanging in front of her face, her bangs covering her eyes partially.

She opened her door and allowed Johnny to step inside. As he set the boxes down, he looked around, noticing that nothing had been unpacked yet. Boxes were everywhere, cluttering most of the apartment.

“So where are you from?” Johnny asked.

“New Jersey. I’m a long way from home, I know,” she said with a laugh. “I’ve just always wanted to live in Cali.” Johnny nodded.

“Well, Cali’s not so bad. Especially now that you’ve seen the main attraction.” She turned to look at him, a look of confusion on her face. “Me,” he added, waggling his eyebrows and grinning idiotically. She covered her mouth with her hands as she giggled at his joke. Johnny smiled. He loved her laugh and how adorable it was. “So, how about I help you unpack?”

“You don’t have to,” she told him. “I’m sure you’ve got better things to do.”

“Yeah, but my pornos can wait for me,” he joked. “I want to help.” Emiliana nodded, telling him different instructions on where to put things.

Johnny had spent a good couple of hours helping her unpack. She’d currently abandoned helping him to start cooking dinner, having invited him to eat with her as a way to repay him. As Johnny sat in her living room trying to assemble her bookcase for her, he couldn’t stop glancing at her. She was definitely the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on.

He frowned when he heard his friends loud voices as they stood in the hall next to Emiliana’s apartment. They were probably trying to get him to come out of his apartment. Grumbling, he stood up and opened Emiliana’s door to explain to his friends what had happened. Of course, at the mention of a pretty girl, the other four immediately volunteered to come help. Johnny didn’t want to let them in though. If they came to help, she wouldn’t think of him in the way he wanted to. His friends would overshadow him, but he couldn’t turn them away. That would be a dick move, and Emiliana most likely wouldn’t like him then.

Johnny let the guys in, introducing them to his new neighbor and explaining they were going to help. She smiled and welcomed their help, telling them they could stay for dinner as well.

Johnny hated how Brian kept trying to flirt with the pretty blonde. Despite the fact that she didn’t seem interested, he kept flirting. Johnny’s only saving grace was that she didn’t return the same interest in Brian. It gave him hope that he might have a chance with her.

Johnny had been sure that after that day Emiliana would never show interest in Brian. She used to complain about Brian to Johnny after she’d spend time around the other man. She hated his cockiness and womanizing ways. She wasn’t the least bit interested in someone like Brian, or so she’d made him believe.

The more he thought about it though, the more he realized that he should’ve seen it coming. They hadn’t had sex for a few months. He’d always end up brushing her off, finding excuses to not have sex. When he was willing, he was always drunk and passed out before they could even do anything.

Johnny also knew the reason behind his low sex drive. Their sex life had started to wane after their big argument. They hadn’t really managed to move past it, but how could they? It wasn’t just one of those silly little arguments that was really just a waste of time. This was much bigger than that.

“Why can’t we get married?” Emiliana demanded after Johnny told her that she shouldn’t be worrying about marriage because they weren’t getting married.

“Why should we?” he countered.

“Because we love each other,” she replied, her voice soft. When he glanced back at her, he saw the tears forming in her eyes. He didn’t get it though. What was the big deal about getting married?

“Weddings are a waste of time, Emi,” he told her, running a hand through his hair. “They’re just a reason to spend a lot of money on what’s basically a party. The only difference between a marriage and being boyfriend and girlfriend is that when you’re married you’re husband and wife.”

“Am I not good enough to call your wife, Johnny? Is that it? Do you not want to spend the rest of your life with me?” Johnny groaned, walking over to where she sat on the couch and kneeling in front of her. He grabbed her hands in his and looked directly in her eyes.

“Emi, baby, I love you more than anything. I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else.”

“So then why won’t you marry me?”

“I don’t like the idea of marriage. It’s too restricting. I won’t have the same freedom I have now.”

“You think I would keep you from doing the things you do now? Johnny, I’m not like that. You should know I wouldn’t try to control you.”

“I’m not saying you would, Emi. I’m saying that I wouldn’t be able to do certain things because I’d feel wrong doing it.” Emiliana glared, standing up and pushing him away from her. She walked to the stairs, not glancing at him.

“You know what, Johnny? Fuck you,” she spat before she stormed upstairs.

Johnny knew he was probably wrong to say what he’d said. But he’d never expected her to cheat on him. When he told her he didn’t want to get married, he’d thought that she would leave him. When she stuck around, he thought things were going to be okay. He would’ve never thought she’d cheat on him, especially with the one man she seemed to despise.

His eyes felt dry by the time he’d managed to stop crying after a couple of hours. He’d give anything to just go back in time and try to stop this whole thing from happening. Would he have agreed to marry her one day? He couldn’t be sure. He loved her, but the idea of marriage was something he’d always despised. Marriage would’ve trapped him, and he didn’t like feeling trapped. He didn’t want to feel like he was tied down to one woman alone. Sure, he wanted to spend his life with Emiliana, but he didn’t want to feel like he was chained to her.

The thing that scared him the most though was the stories he’d heard about marriage. More than half of all marriages ended in divorce. During the first year of marriage, couples found out things about their other half that they hadn’t known before. Some of those things couldn’t be worked through, and that was why couples divorced. Johnny was afraid that would happen with Emiliana, and he hadn’t wanted to lose her. But even not wanting to get married had caused him to lose her.

Johnny didn’t want to stay up any longer. He stood up, stumbling due to his drunken state as he climbed up the stairs. The moment he reached his bedroom, he froze. He couldn’t sleep in there. There were too many memories of him and Emiliana in there. Turning his back to the room, he chose to crash in one of the guest rooms.



“You look like shit,” Zacky commented as Johnny joined him, Matt, and Jimmy at the restaurant they’d chosen to meet up to eat. Johnny shrugged as he dropped down into a chair and stared at the table.

“Man, are you alright?” Matt asked, sounding concerned. Johnny lifted his head, and the guys all noticed his red eyes. Johnny shook his head, his shoulders slumping.

“She was cheating on me,” he said dully. He noticed that the others didn’t look surprised. They all exchanged glances with each other, looking slightly guilty. “You knew?” he asked, his voice raising in anger. “You knew and you didn’t tell me?”

“We didn’t want to hurt you,” Jimmy replied.

“So I get to be the last to know that she was fooling around behind my back?” Johnny snapped, glaring at his friends. The other three men looked away in shame. “Yeah, you guys are the best fucking friends a guy could ask for.”

“We’re sorry, dude,” Zacky mumbled. Johnny only shook his head in disbelief.

“How long?” he asked after a few uncomfortable minutes of silence. The others looked up at him questioningly. “How long was she sleeping with him?” When they didn’t answer, he shouted, “How long?”

“Four months,” Matt replied. Six months ago was when their relationship had started going down the drain. At least she had waited a couple of months before she started cheating. That was the silver lining, right? “Johnny, man, we are so fucking sorry for not telling you.”

“At least you’re not the bastard who slept with her,” Johnny growled.

No one said a word after that. Johnny didn’t want to talk, and what could the others say? They couldn’t think of what they should say. Johnny wouldn’t want their sympathy, and they had been in the wrong for not saying a word when they’d found out about Brian and Emiliana.

Johnny was just about to get up and leave when they’d been joined by another person. Johnny glared as Brian stood next to the table, a smirk on his face. He looked like he was the best thing on the planet and knew it. He was ready to boast about something he’d probably been dying to brag about since he’d first fucked Johnny’s ex.

“Shouldn’t you be fucking your cheap whore?” Johnny spat. Brian’s smirk widened, and he chuckled.

“I don’t think you should talk about your girlfriend like that, Johnny boy.”

“She’s not my girlfriend anymore. You can have her. She’s just my sloppy seconds now anyway.” He felt slightly guilty for talking about her in that manner, but he didn’t want to let it show.

“I don’t think you can really call her your seconds. You never did the things to her that I do. I bet she never screamed your name to the high heavens. She screams my name every time I fuck her while she’s digging her nails down my back.” Johnny let out a guttural growl. He didn’t want to hear about Brian fucking his ex. “She’s such a good little whore, Johnny. She practically begs me to pound into her tight cunt. She’s so fucking needy. If she wasn’t such a good fuck, I probably wouldn’t even bother with her needy ass.” Seeing red, Johnny stood up and punched Brian square in the jaw. It wasn’t right for Brian to talk shit about her. Johnny had the right, even if he did feel bad when he did it.

“Don’t you ever talk like that about her,” Johnny said, his voice filled with anger. “She is one of the most amazing people on this planet, and you are in no place to talk like that about her. She’s with you, isn’t she? She didn’t cheat on you, did she?” Not waiting for a response, Johnny turned and left the restaurant. He didn’t want to even look at Brian anymore. Brian didn’t deserve her.

Johnny felt like an idiot. He was the reason Emiliana had gone to Brian. He just hadn’t expected her to go to Brian. And he definitely didn’t expect to be the last to know about the situation.

Slumping in the seat of his truck, Johnny buried his face in his hands.

“Why’d you have to do this, Emi?”



Johnny avoided phone calls and texts. When his friends showed up on his doorstep, he refused to answer. His door was locked. No one could get in unless they broke the door down. It was just a way to make sure he could wallow in his self pity alone.

The thing that was the worst was that he still couldn’t hate her. She had cheated on him, cheated on him with one of his best friends, and he still couldn’t bring himself to hate her. She’d hurt him deeply, betrayed him, lied to him, and yet, all he could do was love her. He hated it. His anger at himself for not being able to hate her had caused him to punch various holes in his wall. He drank every drop of liquor he had stored in his house, wanting the alcohol to help the pain. She was the first girl he’d ever really and truly loved, and look what that got him. A broken heart, bloody knuckles, and an alcohol problem.

There was one thing he just couldn’t get him mind to wrap around, and that was the fact that she’d been sleeping with Brian. It didn’t have to do with the fact that she hadn’t liked Brian; it was the fact that they had different preferences when it came to sex. Johnny knew what Brian liked. Brian liked control, liked being able to tell a girl what to do. Brian rarely let a girl on top, and when he did, Johnny knew that Brian was still guiding that girl’s hips.

Emiliana wasn’t the kind of girl that Brian would fuck. Not lookwise, because Brian fucked anything with boobs and a vagina, but based on what she wanted. Emiliana loved control. She wanted to be in charge when it came to sex. She’d told Johnny it was because so many of her past sexual partners had only been looking for their own pleasure. When she was in control, she could make sure she got what she wanted out of it, too. They’d been together for over five months when she first let him take the reins in their sex life. It was a day he had held near and dear to his heart.

Johnny’s arm was wrapped around Emiliana’s waist as he led her to the hotel room they’d stay in for the night. He’d invited her to come on tour with him and the guys. He thought it might help their relationship if he could take her with them because it was hard keeping up long distance relationships, especially when it was fairly new.

“Fuck I’m tired,” Johnny groaned, his head lolling to the side and resting against the blonde’s shoulder. She giggled softly, nuzzling her cheek against his hair.

“Hopefully not too tired,” she said innocently, but Johnny knew her intentions were not so innocent. In response, Johnny turned his head slightly and nipped at her throat, causing her to jump in shock.

“I’m never too tired for that,” he growled, feeling her shiver in response. Their paces quickened as they closed the distance between them and their hotel room. Johnny wasted no time in getting them inside, and he looked at her expectantly. He knew better than to do anything without her approval. He was more than okay with letting her take control if that was what she wanted. It didn’t make him less of a man.

Johnny was surprised when she smiled softly at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his lips gently. She pulled away, her green eyes soft and sparkling.

“I want you to take charge tonight, John,” she whispered softly. His doe eyes widened in surprise. “Please make love to me.” Blinking, Johnny recovered from his shock and kissed her slowly and gently, his hands cupping her face. She moaned against his mouth, surrendering completely to him. Johnny liked this side to her. He liked knowing that she was willing to let him take charge, that she trusted him to give her the pleasure she sought without her taking it for herself.

He ran his hands gently over her body. His touch was far from rough as he touched her, slowly undressing her. He walked her over to the bed, her knees bending as they hit the edge of the bed. He hovered over her, his lips trailing butterfly kisses all over her body She let out soft moans, her eyes closed.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Emi,” he whispered, his calloused fingers tracing patterns on her stomach.

“Johnny?” she said softly, and he hummed in response, looking up at her and locking his light brown eyes with her green ones. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

That night was the first time either of them had said those words. It was also the first time he realized just how much he loved her and how much she loved him. He thought they were going to be together forever. He was wrong though, and he hated it. He hated what heartbreak felt like.



It had been three months since Johnny had even seen his friends. At the suggestion of Matt, Zacky, and Jimmy, he had gone away for a while, went to stay with family on the other side of the U.S. Being away from Emiliana and Brian gave him the time that he needed to get over what had happened. His broken heart wasn’t completely healed yet, but he was better now. He wasn’t mad at Emiliana. He still held a slight grudge against Brian, but that was different. Brian had been trying to steal Emiliana from the start, he had lied to Johnny’s face. Before the breakup, Johnny had talked to the guys that he thought things were going south in his relationship. Brian had been the one to tell him that it was just his imagination.

Johnny pulled his truck to a stop in front of Matt’s house. Everyone was here for a barbeque before the guys started to work on their next record. Johnny wasn’t quite sure he wanted to face Emiliana or Brian, but he had to do it sooner or later. He’d rather get it over with now.

“Hey man, you came!” Jimmy shouted as Johnny joined the group of friends. The others greeted him, all standing up to greet Johnny. The last person to greet him was his former lover, and his heart stopped in his chest. Her green eyes were sad, and he noticed that weren’t as bright as usual. He didn’t want to think too much of that though. He was only just now starting to get over her.

“Hi,” she said in a small voice, hugging herself. “Um, I’m glad you’re back.” Johnny only nodded, not knowing what to say. “I’m sorry, John. I’m really sorry.”

“As long as you’re happy, I’m fine,” he told her, and she sent him a small smile. They stood in awkward silence, having no clue what else to say, and Johnny felt relieved when Jimmy called him over to where he and Brian were standing. Johnny would rather face Brian than Emiliana.

“So you doing better?” Jimmy asked.

“Yeah, I am. Emiliana and I weren’t really right for each other. It just took me a while to realize it.”

“I’m sorry about what happened,” Brian said, speaking up for the first time. Johnny turned his attention to the other man, and for the first time, he actually saw remorse on his friend’s face. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I wasn’t thinking really. I just wanted her so bad. I shouldn’t have done it, and I’m sorry.”

“I’m over it,” Johnny replied honestly. “You can live your life with her if that’s what you want. I don’t care if you’re with her or not.” He paused, his gaze travelling across the room to land on his former flame. Turning his gaze back to Brian, he added, “Just a little warning though, when she leaves you for dead, you’ll be the last to know.”