Searching

“Oh, Steve, I didn’t expect to see you today,” I said, a little shocked to see him standing at the entrance of my art gallery as I was starting to clean up the paint that I was using for my piece. We told each other that we had things to do, so that we would probably not see each other at all today. Of course it was a pleasant surprise, even if I was going to head home and just stay in bed for the rest of the evening.

Something in his hand caught my eye, it was a manila folder. I rose my eyebrow as he walked over to me, handing it over to me slowly. He nodded his head when I looked at it curiously, indicating that it was alright to look into it. When I grabbed it, it seemed to open and my eyes widened.

“It’s Peggy,” I gasped, reading over the file. It had her picture, her address, her number, and things about her that Steve already explained to me. “Why don’t you go see her, Steve? I am sure that she wants to see you, and she will be delighted to talk to you about things.” I smiled, and soon looked up at him. That was when my smile faltered, seeing that his eyes were caste down to the ground. “Steve?”

He shook his head, looking up at me again. “Jonathan gave me that folder when I was walking out of the tower,” he said, scratching at the back of his neck for a moment. “I don’t know what I am more afraid of, seeing her again, or the fact that he knows about my past.” He shrugged his shoulders before retrieving the folder from me.

“I know,” I spoke, a sigh coming from my lips as I sat down on my stool. “I think you should go see her, though. I am sure that she has stories to tell, and you have things to tell her too. One visit can’t hurt you Steve,” I assured, looking up at him.

“It made me realize something though,” he told me, placing the folder down on the counter. “She aged, and so will you. I haven’t aged one bit, and it scares me.”

My heart started to sink, afraid of the words that he was telling me. “What are you saying, Steve?” I questioned, frowning at his choice of words at the moment.

“I am afraid of what will happen if we continue to see each other,” he mumbled, looking at me in the eyes. I stood up from the stool to walk close to him. “We can’t do this, Krissy. It’s going to kill me to know that I will continue to stay the same, while you grow old. I can’t live with that.”

Water started to cloud my eyes, having me cast my gaze to the ground. This was hard for me to comprehend. He was ending things with me. The man that I gave my heart to was telling me that this relationship was going to end because of one thing. He didn’t have to say anything else for me to start crying. The tears came from my eyes.

“Please, don’t cry,” he told me, lifting my chin up with his hand gently so I can look at him. He wiped the tears away with his thumbs. “I am doing what is right.”

I shook my head, batting his hand away from my face. “You can’t do this to me, Steve. I know that we are different, but I can’t help my feelings for you,” I told him, wiping the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.

“I know what you are saying, but it isn’t going to be right,” he told me, I could tell that his own heart was breaking. It sounded like he was having a hard time trying to talk. His eyes would cast down to the ground, and back up at me every now and again.

“Steve, you were the one I was searching for, and you are going to let one fact tear us apart? Are you going to let him win?” I questioned, crossing my arms over my chest. It was hard to be strong in this type of situation, but I wanted him to know where I stood.

He sighed, shaking his head as he ran his hand through his short hair. “It’s the truth,” he told me.

“The truth is that I love you, Steve!” I exclaimed, and then clasped my hand on top of my mouth before turning my back to him. Those three words were always so hard for me to say, always afraid that I would be hurt by them. It hurt to say those words, knowing that what we had was turning into nothing.

His hands were placed on my shoulders, and he slowly brought his arms around me. “I love you too, Krissy,” he whispered, and that is when I turned around.

In that moment, I kissed him. I could tell that he taken back from it, but in mere seconds, he pressed his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his hands went down to my hips as we shared this kiss.

This could be the first, and last, kiss we shared.