Dark Dreams

“NO!! NO NO NO!!! MOMMY!!!!!”
Tears stream down Leroy’s face as Loki atemps to pull him off of me.
“Leroy!! Let….ugh…GO!”
Leroy screams kicks and screeches.
“NOOOO!!!!! MOMMY!!!! I DON’T WANNA!!! YOU HAVE TO COME WITH US!!!”
“Leroy its final I’m not changing my mind-”
“AHHHHH!!! NO NO NO!!! MOMMY!!! MMOOOMMMMYYY!!!!”
We told Leroy he will be living with Loki from now on. He screeches and hollers so loud, his crying so sad, it breaks my heart to see him such a mess, he kicks and bites at Loki’s arms, digging his horns and hoves into his chest and floor boards to stop from moving. I grab him and hug him tight.
“Leroy stop throwing a fit!!! Sweetie you have to, stop fighting it, your never going to change my mind. You like living with daddy, and you’ll learn to love living with him. Please stop”
His sniveling, runny nosed face, beat red eyes, cheeks flooded in tears and voice in a panic makes me just sick. I feel horrible about how he’s feeling, but It cant be helped
“BUT MOMMY!!! I WONT!!!!”
My stomach sticks out from my shirt a little bit.I sigh, I don’t have time to deal with him acting up, I’m due any day.
“LEROY STOP IT NOW!” I snap back at him,
Leroy stops crying and wipes his nose, his eyes buldged put of his head and even loki looked at me a little shocked. This was the first time I’ve ever yelled at Leroy and was angry about it. I run my hands threw my hair and pat my belly.
“Leroy I cant handle you throwing fits anymore about this! I need to be sleeping, eating, and resting so when Luka’s born he’s healthy like you!”
Loki grabs and covers my mouth
“Lexi!!!”
Leroy’s mouth quivers and shakes.
“W-w-whos….Luk…”
“Loki you didn’t-”
“Lexi he dosent want-”
Leroy begins to cry.
“Your…your…..”
“Leroy sweetie-”
“That’s why you don’t want me here!!! YOUR TIRED WITH ME AND WANT SOMEONE ELSE TO LOVE!!!!! AAAAAHHHH!!”
He flops on the floor crying in a ball
“No Leroy!!”
“Its fine!!!! No one loves me!!! That’s why you and daddy want another baby cuz you don’t like meeee!!!! Aaaaahhhhh!!!! Waaahhhhh!!!!”
Loki picks Leroy up in his arms and rocks him back and forth
“Shhh….Lexi I never told him, he freaked out when I asked if he wanted a brother or sister….he hates the idea and he wanted nothing to do with it”
I stare at Loki, then Leroy, then at my stomach. My heart is broken again. Loki comes back and I cry into his lap. He holds me close, He’s so warm.
“Loki I didn’t..oh god what are we gonna do…”
“We cant get rid of him…” he says rubbing my stomach “I don’t know Lex…I wish I did. I say we just have him and Leroy will grow to love his brother soon”
“But what if he doesn’t?!”
“Listen Lex, calm down first…he will I promise you. Let me ask you this, did you ever think you would love me?”
I look up at him. I always said I hated him, but now I cant see life without him. Without my family.
“No….”
“See? It will be…fine….”
He struggles to keep his hand on my stomach
“You don’t want me to give birth to Luka to don’t you?”
“What!?”
“I saw it in your eyes when I told you, I see it now, you really don’t want me to have this baby”
“Lexi how could you say that?!?!”
“I’m not stupid Loki…”
He sighs. As if he wants to tell me something but cant
“Lexi please don’t”
“Don’t what? Tell you to your face that you don’t want another son?”
He sighs and slams his head into my wall. Tears run down hs face as he laugh crys.
“……h..ha….hhaa….hahaa…”
He grips the bed pannel
“Just say it Loki, don’t hide it,”
He grabs his chests and scratches at his face. I lay back down.
“….Loki….?”
“Yes….?”
“Get me to the hospital…I wanna wait there for it…”
“but wont-”
“I don’t care…I really don’t”
He rubs my shoulders and shoves me into my fathers car, my parents both asleep and unaware of Loki and me leaving, like they would care anyways. As we drive I laugh and look out the window
“God I cant believe this…”
“Lex don’t try killing it”
“I wont. Ive come this far with him and I want him.”
I spend hours and days in that hospital. Loki comes by to visit me. Leroy can’t or else he scream and yells and trys to hit my stomach.
“Loki it doesn’t hurt”
He snaps awake, he had fallen asleep in a chair. Loki grabs my hands and kisses my cheek
“What doesn’t?”
“Luka…”
Loki holds my hand tighter.
“I’m going to get Leroy…hold on till I come back”
I sigh and laugh a little. Why doesn’t it hurt…Leroy hurt like a bitch, why doesn’t Luka hurt even the slightest? What if somethigns wrong with me? With Luka? Loki returns with Leroy wrapped in a blanket and holding onto his wolf stuffed animal. Loki sets him down in a chair and holds my hand.
“Lexi how are you doing?”
“I don’t know Loki! I know I’m giving birth but it doesn’t hurt at all!!”
I start to cry. Im so emotionl I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. This time its weird, Luka, my baby, feels so…light and I have no clue what to do! Loki looks down and smiles up at me
“I see his head Lexi push harder, just like the last time with Leroy”
I do, yet I feel nothing, it really feels fine…almost good…it feels…I guess…good. Loki helps me threw it again. I’ve never been so glade to be with him. So happy. I feel a tiny warmth grasp my hand. I turn my head
“Mommy…”
Leroy frowns at me but with a slight smile.
“Leroy please…don’t hurt mommy and the baby”
“I wont mommy…I wanna be here with you…I love you!”
I hug him and hold his hand tighter.
“Oh Leroy…I love you to, and listen, just because mommy is having another baby…doesn’t mean we will forget you! You know that right?”
“I guess…”
“Leroy baby listen to me, we both love you and forever we shall. It just means that we will both have more to love! You and your-”
Loki places a warm giggling baby into my arms wrapped in a white towel. I smile and unwrap his head. His blue eyes stare up into mines. His blackish brown hair straight and a bit curly is soft. Leroy looks over the towel.
“Brother”
“yes you and your brother mean more then anything in the world to us both! Remember…our love will never stop or change”
Loki rests his arm around my shoulders
“Yes it will! We can love you both more and more and more!”
He smiles at me, we both watch as Leroy sticks his finger into the towel.
“Mommy…whats his name?”
“Luka buddy, we’ve been saying it forever!” Loki laughs
Luka grabs Leroy’s finger and holds onto it. Leroy smiles and giggles.
“Mommy…Daddy…I’m sorry I was so mean…I just…”
Loki turns and whispers in my ear
“told yea”
“Is ok sweetie, I know its hard to have someone new…but your gonna love and protect your brother right?”
Leroy stands still and tall and sulets to us all
“I swear on my life I will never let anything happen to my brother!!! My mommy or daddy!! Or anyone I love!! I will be the bestest big brother ever!”
We all hug. I smile. I love my family more then anything in the world…more then anything and I want to spend time with them 24/7 I can’t think about my life without them all. It feels weird to have two children…not live with them both…not be married to there father…maybe…I should start thinking about all this. I miss Leroy a lot and I really want to have our family together all the time. I want me and Loki…I sigh and the hospital cleans off Luka. We are sent home later the next day. When we get home, My mother screams in horror and my father picks a fight with Loki. Loki laughs and holds me tight.
“Sorry that I find your daughter so attractive!! I was gonna ask for her hand-”
“In marriage?!?!?! HELL NO!” My father screams
Loki shakes his head
“You should be careful who your screaming at old man. You’re a asshole to your amazing daughter who does nothing but tries to help you and make you happy!!! You should be grateful to your daughter damnit! I’m happy to be the father of our child! The boyfriend to this girl! And I won’t ever leave her or my son!”
My father points to Leroy who stands behind him.
“Who’s he then?!?”
“My first son. His mother left him on my door when he was a baby, I didn’t even know until I got a test done a while back.”
He grabs Leroy’s hand and he grabs mine.
“I love Leroy and our new baby, we named him Luka”
Leroy was taught to play his role and he does with heart
“Lexi is my mommy!! She akes care of me and loves me!!! And I love her!”
He hugs me and Loki grins
“He’s taken a liking for her. He calls her his real mom and Lexi wants to be it”
My father’s face grows angry and red, he grabs Loki by the neck and slams him to the wall
“Listen punk!! I don’t know who the fuck you are but you wont be getting my daughter!!”
“Dad!!!” I shout
Loki’s eyes glow red and he grabs my fathers arm and twists it hard. He scream and lets him go.
“What did I say? Now I’m gonna be staying here with my son Leroy, my beauty Lexi and our new baby Luka for a while. We can all share a room and I know where everything is, we will be just fine thank you very much”
Loki pushes us up he stairs. I hug him once were in our room. He shoves the dresser in front of the door, then the bed. He kisses me
“Wow!!! Loki!!! I’m going to get in so much trouble for his!!!”
“Its ok Lexi! I just love you and I want us to be together as long as possible”
“Did you really mean what you said?”
“What was that??”
“About…us getting…”
He grabs my hands and pulls me into his chest. I curl my fingers in his hands
“Yes Lexi…Yes I did”
“So…”
“Lets go to sleep ok? I’m exgusted!!”
Loki stood up to my dad and he backed down…my father gave up a fight and backed down!!!! Oh Luka…you’re my good luck charm and I love you! My sweet, angel Luka