Dark Dreams

I sit in my chair. Rubbing my forehead in anger and frustration.. Leroy asleep in his new room, I made it to suite him a while back, he loves it even more now. Pictures of me and him, his mother, all of us. That’s what he wanted. I sigh
“How…how are you pregnant Lexi?”
She told me back at the house…
“hehe…you don’t remember a little while back you and me…hehe not when Leroy’s in the room but you know”
I never had sex with Lexi after Leroy…never…how- I claw at my head, howling in anger, I throw everything from my desk onto the floor, turning over the book cases, smashing windows with a old picture, His white feather wings in locked with my black sleek ones. The anger swells up inside me as I slam my head onto the desk.
“Priceless Purity you son of a bitch!! You fucking piece of shit!!!”
I start to cry, outside thunder rolls in over the red sky. Jesus he could never let me have her for once, he was always intruding…he touched my Lexi!!! He fucking touched her all over her precious body!! How could he ruin what I had? Was he scared? Did he know that Lexi might come with me, living in the world of purgatory with the people she loves? Knowing that Lexi would never be able to leave back to the earth. With me for the rest of eternity
“How dare you, how fucking dare you…” I sob
“Daddy why are you crying?”
Leroy drags his black and blue blanket onto the floor. He’s tired and just woke up. I wont tell him about the move now. I continue to cry in anger and frustration. Leroy jumps on my lap and hugs me, his silky black hair under my chin.
“Its…nothing….” I lie
“But your crying!!!”
“I know buddy *sniff* just go back to bed”
He crosses his arms and pouts
“No! I cant go to bed when my daddy’s crying! I don’t leave when the ones I love are crying!”
I smile at him and wipe my tears. I hug him back harder
“God your just like your mother”
Leroy smiles back up at me, grins and laughs
“Mommy says I’m just like you!”
“no you’re her, you love and care like her, you think like her to”
“Well then it’s a good thing I love both you and mommy!! I love being both of you!!”
Seeing Leroy happy makes me put on a real smile. He’s my pride and joy. I never thought I would have such feelings, wanting so despritly to protect my loved ones, the feeling of love it self! Wanting to see them happy…I comb his hair with my nails, scratching at his cute horns
“Leroy, how would you like to have a little brother or sister?”
Leroy’s happy smile turns to a frown
“…I….don’t….”
He sniffs and begins to cry
“Leroy whats-”
“I don’t wanna a sister or brother!!! Ahhh!!! I just want it you me and mommy!!! I never want that to change!!! Ever!!!!!”
He cries into my arms. I knew it, I pick Leroy up and put him back to bed. I know Lexi’s gonna be heart broken over this…She cant get rid of it, everyone knows you cant abort a angels baby, Why Lexi? How am I going to tell you? How am I going to make Leroy understand? How am I going to fix all of this? How could this happen to me? To us?!?! To poor Lexi…Leroy…I stare up at the sky, black clouds roll in
“I bet your up there laughing your fucking ass off up there arent yah?”
Lighting strikes from the clouds, it begins to rain blood. Lighting catches trees on fire, black and wild fire.
“Hehehe!! Yes I am…yes I am”