Never Alone

"You'll be ok right?" John asked Jenna cupping her face before he walked out after the guys.

A small laugh escaped her lips as she studied his worried eyes, "Yes. Go."

He kissed her forehead, "If you need me call me."

"Go."

"Ok, ok." He mumbled forcing himself to follow the others out. He sighed once he got in beside Kennedy and Pat.

"What?" Kennedy whispered and John shook his head, "Nothing."

"You wanted to stay with her." He replied with a snicker.

"Shut up." John grumbled and Kennedy patted his shoulder.

Once they arrived at the small bar and joined their group of friends John really felt like leaving. Not that he didn't enjoy their company he would have just rather spent the time with Jenna.

"John, you ok dude?" Austin asked and he looked up from his drink.

"Oh yeah. Fine." He stated before downing the half full glass.

"Being really quiet. Why aren't you up flirting with someone or something?"

John chuckled, "Just don't feel like it."

"Odd." Kennedy said with a smirk as he slid the boy another drink.

"Yeah apparently he needs another shot!" Austin said not picking up on Kennedy's que but John did.

John rolled his eyes as Austin waved over the waitress.

"Austin, dude, no." He finally said and Austin gave him a serious look.

"What has gotten into you man?"

John shrugged his emotions raging all over the place. He didn't know where to begin.

"I haven't seen you drink since..."

"What? Since after Eric died? Right. I haven't I just realized a lot of shit ok? Plus, it isn't the same anymore." He grumbled pushing his drink back as he got up from the table. It would never be the same again. The fact that they were in their same old hang out without Eric just seemed wrong on so many levels.

"Dude, come on. Just take this shot!" Eric yelled holding it out to John who groaned, already more intoxicated then he should be.

"But I can't!"

"But I can't! My girlfriend is going to murder me! Please save me and drink this!"

John groaned and grabbed the shot from the boy and downed it.

"I hate you and her!"

"No you don't. In fact, not to get all sappy and shit but we're pretty legit best friends. You can't break that shit."

John laughed drunkenly, "You are right. I won't lie. I love you bro."

"I know man. Now lets find the others and get home. It's late, I'm tired and nd shit faced and yeah." He said stumbling from his seat.

John laughed holding on to his friend as Kennedy appeared to help with the disaster.

John sighed as he moved to sit at the bar alone. He didn't have it in him anymore. He just wanted his friend back he wanted his old life back. How everyone was able to be ok was beyond his understanding. He was only held together by having Jenna. Without her who knows where he would be. He just couldn't let go of the past yet. The day it all happened would forever be stuck in his head no matter what.

"John?" His mom said waking him from his sleep. He actually had spent the night with his family because his brothers had asked him to. He missed spending time with them so he agreed. He groaned and looked over at the clock that read 5 a.m. the woman had apparently lost it.

"What?" He grumbled, "Have you gone crazy?"

"John, get up." She said and he squinted over at the door to look at her. A serious look covered her usually gentle face and he sat up slowly, his eyes never leaving hers as his heart started beating faster for no reason.

"John, Eric...he..." His mom started to say, her eyes filling with tears.

He blinked waiting for her sentence to end and it was like everything turned into slow motion for him once the rest was out.

"He was in a car wreck with Garrett and he, he didn't make it." She managed to get out.

John swore his heart stopped and his breathing came to a end with those simple words.

"What? Mom this isn't funny!" He said hopping from the bed not sure what he should do besides get dressed.

"John, Mrs. Nickelsen called me. Garrett's still in the hospital."

"No. No, no, no. I just saw him." He fumbled out as he stumbled to put on his jeans.

"John..."

"No! There must be a mistake. It isn't Eric!" He said loudly as he began to shake. He didn't know how else to act. What else to do. He threw on his shoes as his mom watched quietly.

He stomped past her his keys in hand not sure where he was going but he had to prove she was wrong although his heavy heart already knew the truth.

Once in his truck he slammed the door shut. Sadness hit immediately and he began sobbing like a child, unable to breathe as he curled in the seat.

His best friend was gone. He was never coming back. How was he going to live without him? He had been his logical side for years. As cheesy as it sounded, he loved the guy. He was like another brother to him. And how can you ever get over that?

He drove to the hospital once he gathered himself. His main mission now was to make sure Garrett was ok. He couldn't lose him too.

Once he arrived, he walked into the waiting area to see Garrett's family sitting around along with the guys. His eyes met Kennedy's first and Kennedy embraced him almost making John want to cry again.

"How's Garrett?" He managed to ask.

"He's going to be fine."

He nodded as he surveyed the room, his eyes coming to a stop once they landed on Jenna. Jenna. Eric's Jenna. The two names seemed odd if not together. His heart immediately began to ache from the sight alone. Her eyes were blood shot and she clearly had cried for hours. She looked as he felt and it crushed him.

"Jenna." He said dragging the girl's attention from the floor she was staring at. Her eyes met his and with that the two began to cry.

"Jenna I'm sorry." He sobbed holding the girl to him like his life depended on it.

"I'm so sorry." He repeated and she clung to him for some sort of comfort. The pair collapsed in the floor and he held her like a child, rocking her back and forth as she cried into his shirt.

"Jenna." He cooed stroking her hair trying to get her to calm down.

"I just need him. I need him here." She cried and John tried to contain his own tears.

"Shhh. It's going to be ok. I'll be here for you every step of the way. I promise." He whispered and he continued to rock her until she fell asleep from exhaustion.

Once her crying stopped and he was certain she was asleep, he looked up at the guys who were already watching the two. Pat was rubbing his eyes, his face red probably from crying and Jared couldn't even make eye contact with anyone.

"I can set up a bed in her brother's room if you'd like." He heard and turned his head to see a nurse.

"That would be great. Thank you." Mrs. Nickelsen stated with a weak grin. The nurse urged John to follow her and he climbed from the floor with the girl still in his arms. He followed the women in silence and she opened the door to the small room telling him the couch folded out to a bed. He thanked her and looked over at Garrett who was watching quietly from his own bed. His right eye was now bruised and his lip was busted but other than that he seemed in tact. Physically that is.

He finally looked down at the girl in his arms, "Jenna..." He whispered, "Baby, look. I need you to get up for a moment so I can pull out this bed."

"No." She said clinging to him tightly, "Don't go."

"I'm, I'm not going to leave, Jen. I swear." He fumbled out at a whisper unsure how to handle her wanting to be so close to him. Despite everything going on he knew his feelings for her were still buried deep inside where he had hid them from the world and this just made it hard for him to keep it that way.

"Here. Bring her here." Garrett said forcing himself over as he winced at the pain it caused, but he knew it was only half of what his sister felt.

John walked over and laid the girl beside him. She immediately wrapped her arm around her brother causing his face to instantly turn more sad than John thought possible.

"I love you, Jenna." Garrett said bringing his hand to her head that rested against his arm.

"I love you too." She mumbled as she closed her tired eyes.

John pulled up a chair beside Garrett and once Jenna was sound asleep Garrett turned to him.

"This is all my fault. She's going to hate me when she realizes it." Garrett spoke his eyes beginning to water.

"What happened?" John asked the dreadful question.

"I asked him to come pick me up and on the way back smeone hit us. If I would have just called someone else or walked home or..."

John breathed in before speaking, "Garrett this is not your fault."

"Yes it is and she's never gonna forgive me. I can't even forgive myself!" Garrett said tears falling down his cheeks and John grasped the boy's arm.

"She loves you. She's not going to hate you because you're her brother and it was not your fault, man." He said trying to convince him.

Garrett shrugged as he sniffled.

"I don't blame you, dude." John added seriously.

"Just isn't fair." He grumbled.

"Yeah well that's life. Plus, they say only the good die young, and I believe it now you know? Eric was too good to be here. He wasn't like us, man. No matter how crazy he could be."

Garrett nodded, "Yeah...I just, I don't want her to hurt and I know it's killing her. It's killing me and she loved him so I just, I feel horrible. I just want him back for her more than anything or just so she can say goodbye..."

"I know, Gar. I know." He whispered, his eyes moving to the sleeping girl. He understood what Garrett was saying. If it killed him he couldn't imagine being madly in love with someone and losing them.

"He knew she loved him and vise versa. I mean, hell who didn't know that?" John asked with a weak grin.

Garrett chuckled softly, "I know. Fuck. This is going to be so hard."

"Time heals. You'll see. She'll see. We will all see. Just wait..." John said softly.

John stared at the beer bottle resting between his hands that he hadn't even took a drink of yet. Yeah, he had to admit time did heal everything. It just worked too damn slow for his liking. He wanted to feel normal again. He missed how things were. How he was. Then again, would he ever be the same? Was he suppose to be different now?

He sighed and brought the bottle to his lips. He could at least try to be the same though, right?