Messy Ending

“Bye, Ben,” I murmured to him.

Sammi had announced she would wait for me by the stairs, but her eyes still watched Ben and I intently.

“Dai?” Ben inquired.

“Yeah?”

He looked hesitant, but he bent down and connected our lips in a kiss. I wound my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me, and he did the same with my waist. Our hips pressed into each other and it seemed every kiss we shared kept getting better than the last.

Finally I had to pull back for breath. “Wait here, Ben.” I held up one finger and rushed over to Landon’s front desk. “Can I borrow your pen?” I questioned.

Landon raised an eyebrow saying, “Sure, Dai.” He handed me the pen that had been placed in a cup to the left of him and he eyed me while I turn and quickly walked back to where I’d left Ben standing, waiting for me.

“Give me your arm,” I ordered, somehow managing to not sound demanding in this request. He did give me his arm, very hesitatingly, enabling me to scribble my number in black ink onto his wrist, afterwards capping the pen and shoving it into my pocket, waiting for his reaction.
He studied the number, not quite catching on. “Your number?” he inquired. He spoke with a slight, confused, tilt of his head. I couldn’t blame him for his confusion either. I’d been the one pushing Ben away, until now that is.

A small smile graced my features and I nodded. “Text me,” I told him, biting down on my lip.

Ben nodded, peeking toward the clock situated on the wall behind Landon’s desk. “I’ve got to go, Dai. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned on his heel and exited the building, leaving me to stare after him, stood in the center of the lobby in my apartment building.

~~~

Sammi and I seated ourselves on the large couch in our living room at my request. I needed to speak to her and uncover how exactly she felt about Danny, considering I hadn’t yet spoken to her like I’d said I would for him. She’d propped her elbow against the back of the couch and rested her head into her hand. I’d crossed my legs and had twisted my body toward her, a small smile etched into my features.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Sammi inquired, lifting her head up off her hand to obtain a better view of me.

“Remember Danny… Ben’s friend?” I questioned. “You know… he came to the diner with the rest of the band?” I questioned to clarify what I was pretty sure was already a vivid image in her mind of the loud vulgar man who had been through the diner far more than a couple times.

“Oh, uh, yeah. I remember him…” She paused a moment. “Why?”

“He’s cute, right?” Not as cute as Ben, I thought to myself. I was still perplexed about he and I. Sure, we’d made out in the elevator… and then again in the lobby, but I didn’t know what that made us exactly or what that made me to him. I didn’t want to admit to anyone, not even to myself, that I now wanted Ben… what a weird turn of events.

“Where are you going with this, Dai?” Sammi raised one suspicious eyebrow, crossing her legs one over the other. Sammi wasn’t dumb. I admit, though, that her mind ran a bit slower than that of the average person’s mind. It was frustrating at times, especially now, and made me want to scream obscenities at her.

I sighed loudly and cried out, “For God’s sakes, Sam! The man likes you!” I lowered my voice when I spoke again. “Do you like him?” I pushed my dark hair aside. Sammi seemed taken aback by my blatant remark. She glanced down to her fidgeting fingers, a smile playing over her glossed lips.

The smile she wore remained in place as she answered, “Maybe…” She bit her lip, casting her eyes away from me. The situation felt so high school. It felt as if we were two teenage girls discussing the boys they liked in their high school. She’d been silent for a moment, but broke the silence asking, “Why are you asking?” She lifted her head as she asked this.

I shrugged. “He asked me to talk to you for him.” Her face brightened a tad bit. “And I told Ben that we’d both go hang out with the guys tomorrow…” I examined her expression. “That’s okay, right? You’ll go?” I tore lightly at loose threads poking out through the black fabric of the soft couch, absentmindedly. Once I caught what I’d been doing I immediately stopped, afraid I’d ruin the couch.

Sammi nodded her head, quickly. “Sure, I’ll go.” She appeared as if she wanted to speak once more, but refrained. Finally she decided to just go for it and said, “I didn’t even think Danny noticed me.” She admitted it a bit sheepishly, lifting her shoulder in a small, embarrassed shrug.

My mouth gaped open. “You have got to be kidding me, Sam!” I chuckled. “Have you not seen the way he glances at you when he thinks no one is paying attention?” I nudged her in the ribs with my elbow. She appeared thoughtful, as if she indeed hadn’t noticed and was trying to bring to her memory him being caught staring or even glancing in the direction she stood. Her brown scrunched up in confusion and she looked up toward me and shook her head from side to side.

She adjusted her position to sit more comfortably on the cushioned couch and said, “I must be really oblivious. I’ve never noticed him looking at me.” She b rushed through her reddish black hair with her slim fingers.

I nodded my head. “You are oblivious. I think just about everyone noticed but you.” A wide grin stretched its way across my face.

She mimicked my nod. “I must be,” she repeated, more to herself than anyone else, I think, with a distanced voice.

~~~

Ben

I’d forgotten all about Ali by the time my phone buzzed loudly within my pocket, her name, which I had set as Al, flashing across the screen. I didn’t want to talk to her; I did need to break up with her, however. I didn’t want to break up with her over the phone, though. That would make me feel like a giant asshole, which apparently we’d already established the fact that I was exactly that.

Eventually, I breathed out a sigh and answered the phone, “Hey, Ali.” I lay back on my bed, one hand draped heavily across my abdomen. I stared up at my white ceiling, barely aware of the TV playing softly in the background and lighting an omniscient glow across the already dimly lit room.

”Ben…” Her voice quavered through her words. I didn’t think I could break up with the girl once she told me whatever it was that had upset her and against my better judgment I found myself asking her what was wrong. She sniffled and answered, “my dad… it doesn’t look like he’s gonna make it.” She sobbed into the phone. ”I’m gonna be out here a few more weeks.” Silently, mentally, I cheered to myself. I was glad that I wouldn’t have to worry about her coming between Dai and I , as stupid as that sounds, for at least a few more weeks. God, I’m so fucked up… ”Ben? You still there?” Ali’s voice broke through my thoughts.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry, I was thinking…” I trailed my words off. I’d met Ali’s dad once or twice and he was a great guy, though I suspected he wouldn’t be had he known about me cheating on his daughter… multiple times. Her dad actually liked me for some reason, despite myself being vulgar and foul, he found it to be good fun. “Ali, I’ve got to go,” I lied easily to her.

”Oh, alright, Ben. I love you,” she said, through the line.

I flinched. I couldn’t tell her that I loved her truthfully… in fact, in all honesty, I’d stopped loving her long before I’d ever met Dai.. I’d been unhappy with both myself and my relationship for months. Ali and I had been together for a little less than a year. I sighed quietly to myself. “You too, Al.” But it was a lie… our relationship was based on a lie. The lie was that I was actually happy.

“I miss you, Ben,” she murmured into the phone.

“Miss you too, Ali,” I lied to her once again. I hadn’t thought about her once since she’d left for Oregon and while I felt a bit of guilt at that fact, I didn’t exactly regret it. I liked Dai. She was so sweet and innocent and, well, too good for me in every way.

“See you in a few weeks. Bye, Ben.” She hung up her phone, much to my relief and I tossed my phone to the side of me. Only after I’d tossed it aside had I realized something. I looked down to my wrist. Dai’s number had faded off a bit, it was still legible though. It only took a quick second of debating before I lunged forward to grab for my phone and dialed her number and name to save it into my contacts and I opened up a new message for her.

I tried to think of something, anything, conversational. Eventually, I ended up typing whatever popped into my brain.




I drummed my fingertips against my thigh, anxiously. I focused my attention toward the nearly forgotten TV. It took Dai less than a minute to respond to my message and I all but attacked my phone in excitement.




I smiled to myself. I honestly hadn’t doubted it was hers in the first place, really, it just felt good to have it confirmed. I typed out my message to her quickly.
















I switched my phone off and set it down on my wooden night stand before reaching up and clicking my lamp off, the only light becoming the glow of the TV as I fell into a dreamless sleep.