Kiss Me and I Bleed

“All the stress over Nicole being pregnant and the wedding has really been weighing on me you know.” Angela said even though I could tell she was lying and there was no way I was going to leave until she told me what it was. “I’m supposed to be her big sister and I should be able to help her.” Angela added.
I shook my head and sat down next to her. “You don’t have to lie to me Angela. It’ll make you feel better if you told someone.” I said.
Angela started crying all over again and I hugged her. I hugged her until she finally stopped crying. “I haven’t told anyone this not even Jaime.” Angela finally said. “It was awhile ago. Right before we found out that Nicole was pregnant again. I was able to pretend it didn’t happen but when mom and dad talked about you and I getting pregnant it brought it back and now its worse than ever.” I was a little confused by what she was telling me, and all I could do was nod hoping she would hurry up and tell me what was going on. She took a couple of breaths and then she continued talking. “A week before I found out about Nicole I found out that me and Jaime were about to have a baby.” After she said that she burst out crying again, but I didn’t understand why.
She was having a baby and that was good news, so why the hell was she was upset. “Angela why are you crying?” I finally asked when she was still crying.
“Because I lost it.” Angela answered in between sobs. “He wasn’t even a couple weeks and I lost it. He never got the chance to live. When I told Nicole I would rather I be pregnant than her. I really meant it.” Angela added then went back to crying. This was way worse than I had thought it would be. I could only imagine how she was feeling right now. She just lost a baby and she hadn’t told anyone about it.
“How come you haven’t told anyone before? Why didn’t you tell Jaime?” I asked.
Angela shook her head and answered. “I was going to wait tell I saw him to tell him we were having a baby and then I lost it. It happened so quickly I don’t know why I didn’t tell anyone. It was like he never existed in the first place.”
I didn’t know what I could say that would make Angela feel better and then we both heard footsteps coming down the stairs. “Don’t tell Nicole. It’ll only make her upset.” Angela whispered.
“And what about you?” I whispered back and Angela shrugged her shoulders right as Nicole entered the kitchen.
“What are you guys doing up so early?” She asked rubbing her eyes and yawning.
“Mom told me that when she was pregnant with us girls she had craving for cupcakes and thought you might have that craving to. You‘ve been pretty upset so I got up to make you some.” Angela quickly answered and got up so that Nicole couldn’t see that she had been crying. I had to admit that was a pretty good cover.
“Mom was right I had a dream that I was in a land where everything was made of pink cupcakes, and now I’m starving.” Nicole replied. She walked closer and sat in the seat that Angela had just been sitting in. “What are you doing up so early?” She asked me.
I couldn’t come up with a good excuse for why I was up and I wanted to tell Nicole so bad what me and Angela had just been talking about. But it wasn’t my right to tell, and Angela was right somehow Nicole would make herself being pregnant the cause of Angela losing her baby. Nicole was good at making everything her fault and Angela was good at being protective of her little sister. “I just woke up for no reason. And I was thirsty and came down to get some juice and then me and Angela started talking.” I answered which wasn’t a lie but Nicole wanted to know more.
“What were you talking about?” Nicole asked me.
That was a little tougher what could me and Angela possibly be talking about early this morning. If I said the wedding Nicole would know that was a lie. She knew that I could care less about this wedding. I could tell her it was about the baby, but I didn’t want to talk about babies anymore. “We were talking about seeing the guys again. I talked to Vic last night and he said we would spend some alone time together and I was just telling Angela she should do the same with Jaime.” I finally said.
Nicole smiled at Angela even though Angela didn’t look up from what she was doing. “That’s a good idea. When we were in Australia you barely had time together. You should go out and stop trying to take care of me all the time, and you to Morgan.” She said. “I don’t know about you guys but I’m still sleepy and we have to wake up early tomorrow well today so I’m going back to bed.” She got up from beside me and I listened to her walk back up the stairs.
“Are you going to tell Jaime when you see him?” I asked Angela when I heard Nicole’s that Nicole was safely upstairs.
Angela shrugged her shoulders and said. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore tonight. I’m tired too.” I was willing to do anything I could to make her feel better, but she was making it really hard.
“Well let me finish making the cupcakes so you can go back to sleep.” I said. I wasn’t tired anymore, but Angela looked exhausted. I know she was going to say no so I walked up to her and took the bowl away from her. “Go to sleep.” I ordered. She stood there a moment longer until she finally nodded once and then went upstairs. I don’t know what had made me wake up tonight, but a part of me wish I hadn’t or at least stayed upstairs. But if I hadn’t seen Angela crying she probably would have never told anyone and that would be unhealthy.