Suicidal Confessions

He was surrounded by guys – all who were at least a head taller than me – but I wasn’t intimidated. I was pissed.

They watched as I approached and I nearly laughed as one of them elbowed the other as they smirked at each other, I bet they think I’m a fan. This would have made me laugh if I wasn’t so angry. Stopping in front of them I tried to begin my rant but I was cut off by the guy who was elbowed.

“Hello love, what can we do for your pretty little arse?” he said as he approached me
.
“I would like to speak with TJ not that it’s any of your business” smirking I watched as TJ squirmed under my harsh gaze, he knew he was in trouble.

“Oh you like the short girly ones, come with me I can show you what a real man is?” the man laughed looking over his shoulder at TJ and quickly apologised seeing his annoyed look. The man raised an eye brow when I looked him up and down in disgust; he had a ranga beard and hair to match and a rounded stomach which was probably from all the empty beer bottles around him.

“Sorry I’m not attracted to fat old men” that gained a bunch of ‘ohhh’s from the surrounding guys. Before then man could defend himself TJ pushed him out of the way and stood in front of me, fidgeting with his shirt, eyes downcast.

“Shut up Danny, hello Draken” the first half came out fierce and quickly faded into a mumbled when his eyes once again fell on me.

“Its Valentina to you, you lost the right to call me Draken when you walked out on the guys. I cannot believe you wouldn’t tell me! I cannot believe you would leave your best friends for people you barely knew. I really just don’t know what to say to you. Ok I understand you have more opportunities with Escape the Fate but leaving the guys in the middle of a tour?! That’s fucked up. I cannot believe you were once the guy who said you are loyal and that you would never leave the band, unless you got kicked out. But it’s to my understanding that you left without a second thought. How do you think the guys felt when you ditched them for people who are probably double your age? They gave you the option because they were sick of you leaving them for another band that needed you because their guitarist was so fucking high on drugs all the time he couldn’t even stand upright. You were trying to do a good deed? Help out an awesome band? Yes I understand and agree with that but you shouldn’t have left your brothers. THOMAS JOSEPH BELL IVE NEVER BEEN SO ANGRY AT YOU! Have you got anything to say for yourself?!”

There was a tense silence following my rant, TJ looked shocked. I never yelled I hated confrontation more than anything but I was just so angry, I couldn’t control myself.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?!” my eyes snapped from TJ over to a guy with shoulder length black hair, a little eye liner surrounding his eyes dark brown eyes and his right arm covered in tattoos, he stood around 5’8 not very tall but taller than me.

“Was I talking to you? I don’t think so, so how about you shut the fuck up and mind your own business”

“You fuc-“

“Craig! Its ok” TJ cut off the furious man, he put his hand on ‘Craigs’ shoulder and gently pushed him away, while he was yelling he had approached me until he was standing over me his chest expanding quickly with each breath he took, his teeth pulled back slightly over his teeth in anger. TJ pushed him out of the way before taking my colourful arm and dragging me around the corner all the while I fought to get out of his grasp.

“Let go of me!”

“LISTEN TO ME!” he screamed in my face letting go of my arm making me nearly lose my balance.

“I was having problems with the guys long before I left, it was bound to happen and I left before I was kicked out. Is that such a bad thing? If I chose them I would have been there for another month or two before having to leave but if I went with Escape the Fate I would have at least two years with them seeing as I have been signed. I chose what was best for me, I need the money and leaving Motionless seemed like the best choice. Your one of my best friends Valentina and I don’t want to lose you over this; you’re the only person who really understands me… I really can’t lose you; I’ve lost everyone else I can’t lose you over this. Please understand” he pleaded, voice breaking half way through as tears came to the surface. I didn’t notice I was crying until TJ reached out and brushed away my tears.

“I love you TJ, you’re my best friend” I sobbed into his shirt before quickly pulling back and rubbing under my ears and trying to fix my makeup but I was only making it worse. Pushing my hands away TJ rubbed under my eyes and smiled down at me.

“Next time just talk to me about these things, I’ll understand but I don’t appreciate having to find out through other people” he nodded before throwing his arm around my shoulders and leading me back towards the group of guys we had left. When we emerged from the shadows they looked confused as hell, probably because last time they saw us I was screaming and wouldn’t let TJ touch me now we were laughing as he had his arm around me like we were best friends… which we were.

“So you going to explain things?” the man who yelled at me asked looking between us with an eyebrow raised.

“Guys this is Valentina-” “Draken” “- this is Draken lead singer of Suicidal Confessions and who also happens to be my best friend. Draken this is Craig, Danny, Ben, Monte and Robert”

From this explanation I found out the ‘fat old man’ is Danny Worsnop and the guy who elbowed him would be Ben Bruce both of whom were in Asking Alexandria leaving the other guys to be in Escape the Fate with TJ.

“I'm sorry for yelling at you” I apologised to Craig smiling slightly, hoping to be forgiven. If I wasn’t then it would be a bitch to hang out with TJ seeing as he was always attached to Craig. I was happy for TJ, when I had first met him he always talked about wanting to meet Craig and about how much he looked up to him, he had a really bad man crush.

I couldn’t really make fun of him when I meet Amy Lee from Evanescence I was star struck to say the least.
“They let me down, when will I find where I fit in?
I hate this town”

I waited for the music to fade out before removing the oversized headphone and hooking them over the microphone. The boys gave me a thumbs up letting me know that I was done for the day and I couldn’t help but let out a sign of relief, I had been in this booth since six am now it was nearing 5 in the afternoon. I had only left to go toilet and eat the subway the boys had brought. I had the option to leave at twelve but I wanted to get the other song out of the way – thinking it would only take an hour or two – but I didn’t like how I was sounding so we had to do it over, over and over again, but I can happily say it was worth it.

Exiting the both I let my long black hair out of its messy ponytail and running my hands through it in pure frustration. I just wanted to go home but we still had Hayden to finish recording the bass to the song I was just working on, he was halfway through it yesterday when he had to leave – because he was getting to frustrated and messing up more – so we only had another minute to record but who knew how long that was going to take.

Walking into the room I kept my eyes downcast until a loud cough scared me causing me to look up. My eyes and mouth open in shock and a small squeak left my lips as I looked into the green eyes of Amy Lee, who happened to my hero, inspiration and of course girl crush
.
“Hello” she said softly while smirking at my shocked form. They boys stood behind her laughing, they knew this is how I was going to react and they didn’t give me any warning!

“H-h-hi” stuttering I stepped towards her, she surprisingly pulled me into a tight hug and for once I didn’t mind being hugged.

“You did great in there” she motioned to the booth “I’ve been following your band for a while and when I heard you were in the same studio as us I had to come in and meet you”
Oh god! She knows who we are? What do I say to that?


To say the least I followed her around all day, having good conversations, let’s just say my admiration for her had sky rocketed and when I told her that she just laughed and hugged me again. I ended up getting her number and we had kept in contact, she even told me she will come out to one of the tour dates and hangout.

“I guess your forgiven, just don’t storm over and start yelling shit at TJ. If you do I’m going to defend him till the end and I really don’t appreciate you talking bad about Max either, he is still our friend” Craig said kindly.

I smiled hugging TJ’s side tighter making him smile and kiss the top of my head. Is it just me or did this tour just get a whole lot better?