You End, I Begin

“You up for bowling then?” Joel asked, as he dropped me home from the coffeeshop.

“Depends, you asking as friends or as a date?” I turned to ask him.

He laughed, “We’ll see who wins. I win, it’s a date. You win, it’s a date,” he grinned at me. “So tomorrow?”

“Sure,” I nodded.

“Good answer,” he continued to smile in the seat next to me. “I’ll pick you up again, be ready about 7.”

I agreed and got out of his car and made my way to my house.

My mom, James and I went out for dinner that night, which was nice. It was still hard to be a family when we knew there was someone missing, but we made the most of it and it was good to be around them when I didn’t really feel like I belonged anywhere. I had finally began to feel like my mom was accepting me for who I was, rather than who she wanted me to be and we were closer than we’d ever been before.

The next day, I woke up early and decided to walk around downtown Phoenix. I knew I was going to start spending more time in my home state so I had to become more familiar with it’s changes and the new places that had opened. I knew my favourite old record store had gone, but I had to find somewhere new to go. This was the same for the old bookstore. Sometimes, I hated change.

I decided to try out the cafe that took the place of the record store. I went in and immediately admired it’s interiors. Paintings hung on the walls, soft music filled the entire place while people sat at various tables chatted. I went to the counter and eyed up the menu hung behind it.

“Hi, can I help you?” the girl behind the counter asked with a smile.

“Oh hi, yeah, can I get a iced latte and a tuna melt panini and, um, one of the lemon cupcakes, please?” I asked.

“Sure,” she smiled. “That’s $7.25, please.” I paid and she handed me my change. “If you want to take a seat, we’ll bring it over for you.”

“Thank you.”

I sat down near the window and pulled out a book from my bag. I didn’t go anywhere without one, it’s was like a comfort thing for me. The girl behind the counter brought my drink over for me just after I’d sat down and then another girl brought my food over about ten minutes later.

“One tuna melt panini and lemon cupcake?” she asked before putting it down.

“Yes please,” I answered, glancing up.

“Wait, I know you, didn’t we go to high school together?” she asked.

“Um, I don’t know,” I said. Looking at her properly, I realised who it was. Jenna Daley. She was one of the popular girls that Carlie was friends with who I never had any interaction with. And once me and Carlie weren’t friends any more, she was one of the girls who constantly talked behind my back.

“Yeah, we did, you used to be friends with Carlie, right?” she asked.

“Yeah, I did,” I faked smiled. “You’re Jenna.”

“See you do remember!” she squealed. “Oh my god, long time, no see, what are you doing here?”

“I’m just visiting family, I live in LA now,” I told her.

“That’s so cool! Do you, like, know famous people and go to loads of celebrities parties?” she asked, excitedly.

“Erm, it’s not quite like that,” I laughed slightly. “What you doing?”

“Working here,” she said, in a matter-of-fact way.

“Oh, that’s cool,” I nodded.

“Anyways, I’ll leave you to your meal, good to see you!”

“And you,” I smiled, picking up my food.

In that moment, I was so grateful for the fact that I got out of this state, had my own life and got the job I did. I honestly couldn’t imagine not leaving and being like Jenna. Sure she might be happy, but I don’t think I would be in her situation.

Once I finished eating, I made my way home and chilled out until I decided it was time to get ready to go bowling with Joel. I didn’t know what to wear but since it seemed to be a date, I guessed I should at least dress up a little. Jeans were comfy and easy to dress up so I pulled out a black pair and found a cute top to go with it. Then I did my make up and added some soft curls my long blonde hair. Once I was ready it was nearly 7 and not long after Joel pulled up in front of my house. I shouted to my mom I was going out and walked out to meet him. Once again he was waiting out of his car for me and I was walked down the drive, I saw his face change from his concentrating face to a grin.

“Hi Abby,” he smiled.

“Hi Joel, thanks for picking me up again,” I said.

“No problem. You look amazing by the way.”

“Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself,” I grinned, as I looked at him in his blue denim shirt, black skinny jeans and boots. It was simply but worked so well for him. “So, you ready to have your ass kicked, AGAIN?!”

“Oh, no way, you might have won back then but I will beat you tonight.”

We chatted and laughed as we made our way to the bowling alleys. Even though this was only the second time me and Joel were hanging out together since we’d started talking again but I felt so comfortable with him. He had this way of making everything feel so easy and I loved it. There was never a dull moment with him, he seemed to making everything fun. I also loved that I didn’t feel like I had to pretend with him. If I acted like a dork, he would too. He was never judging.

As we changed our shoes and walked down to our lane, we were already throwing banter about who would be first to get a strike.

“Ladies first, of course,” Joel said, as he entered our names on the screen.

“Winners first more like,” I laughed, as I grabbed a ball and go ready to bowl it.

This carried on all night with us laughing and teasing each other. We had a couple of drinks as we played and Joel and I were getting very close. It was nice to have someone like him back in my life who I could joke around with again. We ended up playing three games that night, I won the first, Joel won the second and because neither of us would leave it as a tie, we played a third which I won.

“I told you I’d win!” I grinned as we changed our shoes back.

“Hey, I won one of them!” he protested.

As we walked out of the bowling alley together, Joel linked his hand in with mine and walked closely by my side. I looked across at him without actually saying anything and smiled slightly.

“What?” he asked, as I focussed back to where we were walking.

“Nothing,” I said, continuing to look forward.

“No stop,” he said, pulling lightly on my hand to stop us both from walking. “Look at me,” he instructed and I turn my body to face him. “I don’t know why you keep fighting this so I guess it’s up to me to just come out and say it. I like you, Abby, and I think I always have and there’s a part of me that always sort of knew that. We’re good together, always have been. I was an idiot for not realizing before that it was you that I should have been after. But seeing you in the airport for the first time in ages, you were sad and you looked so broken and all I wanted to do was kiss you and make everything OK. Everything comes so easy for me when I’m with you, I mean just look at us tonight. I know you’re always fighting against everything, and I wish you would do that because this makes this bit so much harder for me.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, confused.

“Kiss me,” he instructed.

“What?”

“Kiss me. Kiss me like no one is watching. Kiss me like it’s Christmas and we’re under mistletoe. Kiss me like it’s new year and the clock just struck twelve,” he said.

He stepped forward, placing his hands either side of my face and pulled me into his body. I stared deep into his eyes before closing mine and pressing my lips to his as he smoothed his thumb across my cheek. Our mouths began to move together as we deepened the kiss. As we parted, he bent down and rested his forehead against mine and I could feel his breath against my face. I opened my eyes and looked into his again and it was then that what I’d wanted for so long was right here in front of me. There was no other girlfriends, no distance, nothing stopping us.

He let his hands fall from my face, taking my right hand in his left instead.

“What are you thinking, pretty girl?”

“That, somehow, you made me believe again. You made me believe that love and happiness exists, that there’s a good reason to have people around you that care about you, that there is good in the world, not just bad. But, most of all, you made me believe in me again,” I told him. My lips curved into a smiled as I looked up at him again. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, but you don’t need to thank me,” he told me.