You End, I Begin

2006

“So, um, Joel asked me out on a date,” Carlie said, quietly and avoiding meeting my gaze.

“That’s awesome,” I smiled, trying to get excited for her.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “And you don’t mind?”

“Of course I don’t mind. I don’t even know the guy, why should I mind? He’s obviously into you,” I told her.

“I just don’t want you to be sad or anything,” she explained.

“Well, I’m not. Go on the date, have a great time and fall hopelessly in love,” I said. “Just, please, don’t worry about me, I’m fine.”

“Thank you, I owe you one,” she said, giving me a hug.

At this point, I think she owed me about 200, but I forgot about it. There wasn’t anything she could do for me. And it wasn’t like I could stop her from going on a date with Joel. I still knew nothing about him and hadn’t even spoken to him. Besides, he was clearly interested in Carlie.

Over the next few weeks, I watched on as Carlie and Joel went on a series of dates. The movie theater, bowling and restaurants were a few of the locations he took her and after every one, I had to listen to her tell me how perfect he was and how he was ‘such a gentleman’. The more dates they went on, the more I got to find out about him from Carlie and the more I realised how perfect he was. Perfect for me. But, as usual, I pushed that back and ignored any feelings I thought I had for him because he was dating Carlie and now there was no way I could ever have him, even if he wanted me.

And then one day she said it.

“You know, you should hang out with me and Joel sometime,” Carlie said, as we walked down the street. It was Saturday and I was on my way to the music store, as per usual. I found it strange that Carlie had decided to come with me today, as she’d only joined me a few times over the years and that was normally after much persuasion from me and not of her own accord. Walking into the store, I immediately realised why she’d wanted to come with me and why she’d suggestion I should hang with them.

“JOEL!” she squealed, running off to where he was stood, flicking through CDs. She threw her arms around him, as he bent down to kiss her lips lightly. Even the sight of them made me want to throw up. They were still in their blissed-out stage of the relationship where everything they did was laced with cuteness. I walked over to where they were, not really knowing what to do.

“Abby, right?”Joel smiled, leaning around Carlie and giving me a small wave.

“Yeah,” I smiled back, happy that he could at least get my name right now.

“I’ve heard a lot about you Abby,” he continued grinning.

“All bad I expect,” I joked.

“Abby, don’t be silly,” Carlie groaned. “I could never say anything bad about you.”

I left them to it as I began searching through CD racks, pulling out different cases and examining them. Every so often, I would look up to see if Carlie and Joel were still here and every time I noticed how he would be hanging on to her every word.

“That’s a great band,” a voice said behind me. I turned around to see Joel smiling down at me as I held Foo Fighters’ Eches, Silence, Patience and Grace.

“Yeah, they are incredible,” I smiled back. “I didn’t know you were into this sort of music,” I said, making conversation.

“Well, yeah, I love any sort of music really, but I have grown up with rock for the last few years.”

“Same, Carlie always laughs at how varied my music taste is,” I told him. “So, you think I should get this?”

“For sure! You can never go wrong with the Foos!” he said, excitedly. “Did you know they’re touring soon?”

“Yes, I was so gutted I didn’t get a ticket.”

“Well, I’ve got a spare one, I was going to ask Carlie but you can come with me if you want?” he suggested.

“Are you serious? That would be amazing! Are you sure Carlie wouldn’t mind?”

“I think she’ll be OK with it. She’s not really into this sort of music, as I’m sure you know, plus she keeps telling me that you and I would get on well and should hang out,” he told me.

“Thank you so much!” I grinned. “Anyways, where did you leave Carlie?” I asked, noticing it was just us stood here.

“Oh I lost her over by the listening post,” he told me, as I looked up and saw her stood with headphones on pressing between songs.

“So, who’s your favourite band?” I asked, keeping him talking

“Easy, The Killers. You?” he answered.

“Jimmy Eat World, without a doubt.”

“Good choice,” he nodded. “You know they’re from Arizona, right?”

“Yeah! Who lives here and doesn’t know that?!” I laughed.

We continued chatting about bands we liked and disliked and other things we had in common until Carlie appeared between us.

“Urgh, guys,” she whined. “Aren’t you done yet?”

“Aw, are you getting bored?” Joel asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head. “I guess we could get going.”

“Will you be alright on your own, Abby?” Carlie asked.

“Yeah sure,” I mumbled, knowing I didn’t really have a choice.

“Alright, well I see you later,” Carlie said.

“Bye, Abby, nice to meet you properly at last!” Joel said, a smiled still on his face as Carlie grabbed his hand and they walked away.

I looked down at the CD in my hand and back up at them as I watched them leave and realised this is how it was it would be from now on. The three of us hang out and then it would just be me left. Getting to know Joel more today was great but I knew it was going to make it worse for me. Not only was he attractive, but he had a good taste in music and it was really easy to hold a conversation with him. Now I didn't know what I was going to do.