You End, I Begin

I’d arranged to meet Carlie and Joel in a cafe in town today. I’d arrived early and already found a table and ordered an iced latte. The waitress just brought it over as Carlie walked in with Joel following behind.

“Hey Abs!” Carlie smiled as they sat down.

This was now the fourth time that the three of us were hanging out. Every time I spent time with them, it got easier and I got more comfortable in Joel’s company, which wasn’t exactly difficult. He was such a nice guy and always seemed to be in a good mood. He was polite to everyone he encountered and went out of his way to keep Carlie and me happy when we were together. He was the perfect gentleman.

“Joel was just saying that his friend will have a free house this weekend and is having a house party. Fancy it?” Carlie asked.

“Not really,” I mumbled.

“Oh, go on,” she whined. “For me?” she added with a pout.

“Seriously, I’m fine,” I said.

“Oh, Abby, you’re no fun,” she said, before getting up. “I’m gonna go get us some drinks,” she told Joel.

“Don’t worry, it’s cool, you don’t have to come,” Joel told me once it was just us. “But I think you would actually enjoy it if you did.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, my friend’s in band, they might jam for a bit, plus at least you’d be going there knowing you had some similar interests,” he said.

“I guess,” I said. “I just don’t really enjoy parties, I don’t see what’s so great about getting drunk and kissing random guys, so I usually avoid them.”

“Yeah, Carlie said. But you know, you don’t have to get drunk and kiss random guys to have fun,” he laughed as I looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Alright fine, you don’t have come!”

“So, Abby, you changed your mine yet?” Carlie asked, sitting back down.

“Nope,” I said, popping the ‘p’.

“Fine, well, at least come bowling with us next week.”

“Now, that I can do!” I smiled, taking a sip of my drink.

“Abby’s a great bowler,” Carlie explained to Joel.

“Is that so?” he asked, turning to me.

“Yep, and I’ll kick your ass,” I told him.

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Bring it, Kanitz!”

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“And that is how it’s done,” I said, as I bowled another strike and turned to face the others.

“Alright show off!” Joel said, as he picked up a ball to go next. I sat down next to his friend Kevin as Joel had his go and Carlie cheered.

“You seem like you’re a natural at this, Abby,” Kevin said.

“Yeah, it’s the one thing I’m actually pretty good at,” I commented.

“So, how come I didn’t see you at my party at the weekend?” he asked.

“I don’t really do parties.”

“Oh,” was all he said after that and he turned his attention back to the score board.

Kevin wasn’t like Joel. Conversation didn’t flow easily with him, it felt like he was trying to hard and the conversations he did start we about things I either had no interest in or had no idea what he was talking about.

Joel was walking back to the seats looking upset. As I saw this I looked up to the score board and noticed he’d only knocked down 6 pins.

“Aw, was that the best you could manage?” I mocked, as he sat down as Carlie got up to take her go. “You know it helps if you aim for the pins.”

“Ha ha, yeah alright,” he said, rolling his eyes and watching Carlie.

“So what’s the deal with you and Joel?” Kevin asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

“Well, I mean isn’t he dating your best friend?”

“Yeah and?”

“So what you two?”

“Just friends,” I said.

“You sure? It certainly seems more than that,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

I looked from Kevin to Joel who was smiling at Carlie. I had no idea how Kevin even got that impression. Joel was mad for Carlie, there was nothing between us other than the fact we got on well.

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“So how did you and Carlie become friends?” Joel asked as he drove. “I mean, not to be rude, but I wouldn’t have put you guys together.”

“I know, we get that a lot,” I laughed. “We just started talking once when we were younger, before things like boys and makeup mattered. We used to play together all the time, whether it was in my backyard or with her dolls or down the street in the park. It was great. Nothing else mattered except me and Carlie and the fact we were having fun.”

“And that’s what being young is all about, right?” Joel asked.

“Exactly,” I nodded. “Anyway, over the years, things changed, our interests began to differ but somehow we remained friends and there’s no one else I’d rather call my best friend.”

“What do you mean things changed?” he asked.

“Well, Carlie became interested in boys and made a lot of new friends when we started high school and I wasn’t that kind of person that could just make new friends easily,” I explained. “Plus, the people she made friends with weren’t exactly the type of people that wanted to be friend with someone like me.”

“And what about boys, no boyfriend for you?” he asked, sending me a sideways glance.

I let out a laugh before sighing. “No, no boyfriend.”

“You say that as if you couldn’t imagine anything worse,” he said.

I just shook my head as Joel parked the car. “I don’t really mix with guys much,” I said. “I kinda can’t believe that Carlie was alright with me coming with you tonight.”

“Actually, she was really happy with the idea. She likes that me and you get along well,” he said, looking up at me. “She also want me to set you up with one of my friends.”

“Oh god, you don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, I thought I’d mention it to you before I did anything anyway,” he laughed. “Besides, my friends are idiots, you’re way too good for them.”

I raised my eyebrows at him, “I’m too good for them?”

“Yeah, you’re cool, you have a great taste in music, you’re funny,” he listed. “You wouldn’t want to be hanging with those guys.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah,” he said, keeping my gaze. We stared at each other or a while and I felt as if he could see right into my mind and read everything about me. In that moment, I wanted to believe that Joel was my boyfriend and that I deserved him.

And then it was like I came crashing down to earth as I remembered he was my best friend’s boyfriend and would always be off limits to me.

“I guess we should head inside then?” Joel said, breaking the silence and the tension between us. “Can’t keep the Foos waiting!” he grinned as he got of his car.

As I got out of my side, I couldn’t help but think of what was going through his head just moments before. I made myself shake it off those before walking towards the entrance to the venue with Joel.

The night seemed to pass quickly. The first three bands came on, played and left again and it was time for Foo Fighters to take to the stage. As the lights went down, I turned to Joel and we both stood there with massive grins on our faces. They played song after song and Joel and I made our way through the crowd, getting closer and closer to the stage. As people pushed around us, he kept a protective hand on my waist and would take my hand whenever he thought we might lose each other in the crowd. I loved everything about their set and sang my heart out to every song, whether it was old or new and found myself and Joel singing lyrics at each other during some songs. Everything was amazing until the band decided to play Walking After You. They brought out their acoustic guitars and slowed everything down. They played the song beautifully but as I listened, I felt myself relaxing against Joel’s body as I rested my head on his chest as his arm moved up my back and he placed it over my shoulder, holding me closer to him.

It was only as the song ended that we realised how we’d been stood and suddenly pulled apart. We avoided looking at each other but I sent a sideways glance as guilt washed over me. Now things would never be the same again.