I'm Nothing Without You

Ryan wasn’t waiting for us when we reached the door that read ‘4A’. We stepped into his dark, stuffy apartment and I kicked off my flip flops.

“Ryan?” Brendon’s voice echoed in the empty living room with no response. “He must not be back from the store, yet.”

I glanced around the small living space and noticed Spencer’s drum set was sitting in the corner of the room. “Does Spencer’s band practice here?”

“Yeah, every Saturday night.” Brendon’s voice was muffled by his sweatshirt as he pulled it over his head. His plain white t-shirt raised slightly above his jeans and I noticed a thin line of dark hair peeking out from the top of his pants. I swallowed hard and sat down on the tan colored couch.

“Have you heard them play?” My voice trembled as Brendon made his way over to the couch. He sat down next to me and leaned his head back against the wall.

“Yeah, they are pretty good. Have you heard them recently?”

I shook my head. “Not the entire band, Ryan sometimes plays around with Spencer at our house.”

Brendon rested his elbows on his knees and he sighed. “Look, about what you said in the car-“

“Please, don’t.” I stopped him mid-sentence and stood up from the couch.

Brendon was about to respond but the door to Ryan’s apartment swung open and Spencer stumbled into the living room. He glanced around the room confused and started to rock back and forth as if he were going to pass out. I ran over to him and placed my hands on his shoulders to steady him.

“Hey sister.” Spencer slurred, his breath reeked of vodka. He leaned his head against my forehead and glanced at Brendon out of the corner of his eye. “Brendon, what are you doing at my house?”

I guided Spencer to the couch and Brendon stood up so I could lay him down.

“Have you been drinking?” Brendon asked and Spencer chuckled at his obvious question.

“Only a little, sir.” Spencer smiled before going into a coughing fit. Brendon ran into the bathroom and grabbed a small trash can and put it by Spencer’s head.

I let out a frustrated sigh and knelt down next to the couch. “Why aren’t you at work, Spencer?”

He closed his eyes, ignoring me and conveniently fell asleep. Brendon placed his hand on my shoulder and I shrugged him off.

“We need to get him home, now.”

Brendon lifted Spencer off of the couch and I watched as he carried him to the front door easily. I hadn’t noticed how strong Brendon was due to the fact that he had a slim frame.

“I will drive Spencer’s car, you can take my truck and drive him home.” Brendon suggested nodding to his keys that were lying on the coffee table. I quickly grabbed them and opened the front door.

We walked out to Brendon’s ford and I opened the passenger side door. Brendon buckled Spencer in and closed the door softly so he wouldn’t wake him.

“I will meet you at your house, Cam.” Brendon glanced at Spencer through the window with a concerned expression and then made his way towards Spencer’s Mazda.

I climbed into Brendon’s truck and watched as Spencer’s head fell onto the window as he slept.
I shook my head in disappointment and pulled out onto the street.

Once we pulled up to our house, Brendon opened the door and scooped Spencer into his arms.

I hurried to open the front door and Brendon stepped over the threshold. He carried him into his room and placed him on his bed. I fell onto the couch and put my head in my hands.

I was losing Spencer, he wasn’t the guy who held me all those nights when our dad came home drunk anymore. He was the guy who came home drunk now, and it tore me up inside to realize that Spencer was slowly becoming our dad. A tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away with the palm of my hand.

Brendon closed the door and walked over to me. He knelt down in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I could smell his cologne, it was the same that Spencer wore and it only made me long for him all the more. “Don’t worry, he is going to be okay.”

Brendon enveloped me in his arms and I breathed in his scent. I felt his arms tighten around my small body and I cried into his shoulder. I knew Spencer wasn’t going to be okay, but there was a bit of hope inside of me that Brendon was right.

“You know when you said people always leave?” Brendon muttered into my hair.

I nodded slowly and Brendon sighed heavily, “This is what you meant, wasn’t it?”

I squeezed my eyes closed and didn’t respond, hoping he would let it go.

Brendon pushed me away so that he could look into my eyes. His dark, chocolate brown eyes peered into my blue ones and didn’t waver. What he said next would change my life forever.

Brendon breathed in a deep breath and smiled his crooked smile. “When I said I’m here for you, I meant it.” He wiped the tears off of my cheek and said, “I won’t leave.”