Give Me Love
Chapter Five.
I woke up to a pair of arms wrapping themselves around my waist. I opened my eyes slowly, shutting them tightly as they started to sting against the faint sunlight of the morning. I rolled over, facing away from the window only to have my face met by scruffy ginger stubble rubbing against my forehead, I opened my eyes again as I felt Ed stir beside me. He opened his eyes slowly and smiled at me.
“Good morning, beautiful.” He pulled me closer and kissed my forehead. I snuggled closer to his chest and wrapped one of my arms around his shoulder,
“Morning, do you want some breakfast?” I sat up, letting the covers fall form my body. Ed’s eyes looked over me, shortening my breath as his eyes dilated and darkened. I blushed and swung my legs over the side of my bed, turning my back to him. I felt the mattress around me move and dip, supporting Ed’s weight. He wrapped his arms around waist and nuzzled his nose into my neck. I giggled and rested my head against his, “Come on you.” I stood up and pulled him with me, he leapt forward bumping his chest against mine as he lowered his face, catching my gaze in his. I frowned at him, allowing him to lean his forehead on mine as he smiled into my lips, pressing them against his. Ed’s hands found their way around my waist, resting on the back of my hips; I let my hands run up into his soft scruffy bed hair, pulling it gently when he moved his lips down onto my neck. His stubble scratched the sweet spot behind my ear as he whispered to me,
“Can’t we just stay in bed all day?” Goosebumps rose all over my body as he spoke, he chuckled, running his rough hands up and down my back, slipping them under the hem of my shorts. I panicked and pulled away, forcing his hands to leave my body. I stood away from him, feeling colder without him beside me. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to come on that strong.” Ed apologised, his face screamed with guilt as he tried to reach out to me, to touch my hand but I pulled that away too. I looked down at the floor, rubbing my arm trying to pull myself together.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered. I heard Ed gulp and then sigh,
“It’s my fault. I think it’s time I went, I’ve already out-stayed my welcome.” He started to pull on his jeans as I squeezed my eyes shut.
“It’s not your fault,” I walked back over to my bed and sat on the edge of it, “I really like you Ed, it’s just… I haven’t been that close to someone in a very long time. I just got a bit scared.”
“You were fine with me sleeping in your bed with you.” He pointed out; I let a weak smile appear on my lips,
“Harry always sleeps in my bed with me, I don’t mind that. It’s just being intimate with someone.” I looked down at my hands, picking at the flaking nail varnish that I had applied a few days ago. I felt Ed’s eyes on me, looking at my withered frame. He sat down next to me and placed a warm hand on my back. My muscles tensed on instinct until he started making small circles with his hand, making me feel slightly more at ease.
“Why didn’t you say something?” He asked, pulling me closer to him and embracing me in a hug,
“It wasn’t really the first thing on my mind” I smiled up at him. We sat in silence for a few moments looking at each other. I could tell just by looking at me that he was wondering how long it’s actually been since I had been with a man. In truth, it wasn’t that long ago, but it was the way the relationship ended that I was now uncomfortable with the idea of being close to anyone else.
“A year,” I said simply. Ed gave me a strange look, pressing me to answer his silent question. “It’s been a year since the last time I had sex. Well, since I last had a boyfriend really.” I felt slightly embarrassed and almost proud considering that all of the other girls my age are either having sex with everyone or pregnant, and for me to be doing neither of those things, I surprisingly found it to be quite an achievement. Ed cleared his throat and put his index finger beneath my chin, lifting my face up to meet his.
“Well, I’d love to change the boyfriend bit,” He smiled, running his fingers up from the base of my neck and into my hairline, “As for the other bit, I’ll wait for you.” I looked into his honest blue eyes and smiled. He kissed my forehead and pulled me in for a hug. I happily wrapped my arms around him and sat there for a moment, thinking about the last time I was with someone. It worried me. It scared me to death.
“Right,” Ed pulled his head away from mine “How about some breakfast?” I nodded, accepting his offer. I quickly pulled on an old knitted jumper and led him out into my kitchen.
“What do you want to eat?” I asked. I pulled out a frying pan, assuming that he’ll want bacon and eggs. All boys want bacon and eggs.
“Well, now that you’ve got that out bacon and eggs I think.” He grinned. I smiled back and laughed to myself, pulling out the ingredients I needed from the fridge and putting the electric hob on full blast. I poured myself some cereal while I was waiting for the rings to heat up, “Are you not having any?” Ed asked, walking up behind me, placing a warm hand on the small of my back. I shook my head looking up at him,
“I’m a vegetarian.” I stated and smiled. I nodded his head and smiled back,
“Fair enough,” He wrapped his arms around my waist again just as the buzzer to my door started vibrating loudly against the door. “I’ll get it.” Ed offered and kissed my cheek before jogging to the door.
“Leave the door open for him!” I called through to Ed. I knew it was Harry; he’s the only person that visits me on a regular basis. Ed came back into the kitchen after unlocking the door, placing his hands on my hips once again. I served up his bacon and eggs and set it on the table for him, making extra for Harry too and setting it down next to Ed’s.
Ed pulled me into a tight hug and kissed me softly; I closed my eyes and relaxed into his strong chest, keeping him close to me.
“Urrghh, I did not need to see that first thing in the morning.” Harry said quietly dragging a chair out from under the table and flopping himself down, tucking into his breakfast. I pulled away from Ed and signalled for him to sit down and eat. I followed him over, bringing my bowl of cereal with me.
“How much did you drink last night?” I asked Harry sitting next to him, he instantly leaned his head on my shoulder, his sunglasses still attached to his face,
“Way too much,” He whined, I wrapped an arm around his shoulder and laughed. “I can’t even remember how I got home.” He moaned again and cuddled up to my stomach. Ed shook his head and smiled into his food, “Wait a second!” Harry exclaimed, sitting up and whipping his sunglasses from his eyes, “You two spent the night together.” He noted with a coy smile. I rolled my eyes,
“Yeah, so?” Ed smiled back cheekily, knowing that he was about to get the both of us in trouble. Harry is my best friend, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not one to keep gossip quiet if he thinks it’s worth sharing.
“Well, I won’t ask any more questions about that then.” He raised his eye brows and smiled turning back to his food. Ed’s phone started to ring at that point, excusing him from the table to answer it in my room. As soon as the door closed Harry snapped his face up to mine. “Tell me everything!” He whispered in mock aggression,
“Oh chill out, we didn’t do anything. We watched a film then went to sleep.” I answered truthfully, having another mouthful of my cereal,
“You really didn’t do anything?” He asked, disappointment spread across his face. I shook my head,
“Sorry babe.” I had just about finished my breakfast when Ed walked back into the kitchen fully dressed, “Everything okay?” I asked as he came up beside me, resting a hand on my shoulder,
“Yeah, I’ve gotta run though. My interview with SBTV starts in about half an hour and I need a change of clothes from my hotel.” He smiled apologetically,
“It’s okay,” I smiled and kissed his cheek, “See you later.” He kissed me quickly on the lips and gave Harry a man hug, before kissing me again and walking out of my door. I turned back to look at Harry who was giving me the look that only the best of friends could understand.
“Good morning, beautiful.” He pulled me closer and kissed my forehead. I snuggled closer to his chest and wrapped one of my arms around his shoulder,
“Morning, do you want some breakfast?” I sat up, letting the covers fall form my body. Ed’s eyes looked over me, shortening my breath as his eyes dilated and darkened. I blushed and swung my legs over the side of my bed, turning my back to him. I felt the mattress around me move and dip, supporting Ed’s weight. He wrapped his arms around waist and nuzzled his nose into my neck. I giggled and rested my head against his, “Come on you.” I stood up and pulled him with me, he leapt forward bumping his chest against mine as he lowered his face, catching my gaze in his. I frowned at him, allowing him to lean his forehead on mine as he smiled into my lips, pressing them against his. Ed’s hands found their way around my waist, resting on the back of my hips; I let my hands run up into his soft scruffy bed hair, pulling it gently when he moved his lips down onto my neck. His stubble scratched the sweet spot behind my ear as he whispered to me,
“Can’t we just stay in bed all day?” Goosebumps rose all over my body as he spoke, he chuckled, running his rough hands up and down my back, slipping them under the hem of my shorts. I panicked and pulled away, forcing his hands to leave my body. I stood away from him, feeling colder without him beside me. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to come on that strong.” Ed apologised, his face screamed with guilt as he tried to reach out to me, to touch my hand but I pulled that away too. I looked down at the floor, rubbing my arm trying to pull myself together.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered. I heard Ed gulp and then sigh,
“It’s my fault. I think it’s time I went, I’ve already out-stayed my welcome.” He started to pull on his jeans as I squeezed my eyes shut.
“It’s not your fault,” I walked back over to my bed and sat on the edge of it, “I really like you Ed, it’s just… I haven’t been that close to someone in a very long time. I just got a bit scared.”
“You were fine with me sleeping in your bed with you.” He pointed out; I let a weak smile appear on my lips,
“Harry always sleeps in my bed with me, I don’t mind that. It’s just being intimate with someone.” I looked down at my hands, picking at the flaking nail varnish that I had applied a few days ago. I felt Ed’s eyes on me, looking at my withered frame. He sat down next to me and placed a warm hand on my back. My muscles tensed on instinct until he started making small circles with his hand, making me feel slightly more at ease.
“Why didn’t you say something?” He asked, pulling me closer to him and embracing me in a hug,
“It wasn’t really the first thing on my mind” I smiled up at him. We sat in silence for a few moments looking at each other. I could tell just by looking at me that he was wondering how long it’s actually been since I had been with a man. In truth, it wasn’t that long ago, but it was the way the relationship ended that I was now uncomfortable with the idea of being close to anyone else.
“A year,” I said simply. Ed gave me a strange look, pressing me to answer his silent question. “It’s been a year since the last time I had sex. Well, since I last had a boyfriend really.” I felt slightly embarrassed and almost proud considering that all of the other girls my age are either having sex with everyone or pregnant, and for me to be doing neither of those things, I surprisingly found it to be quite an achievement. Ed cleared his throat and put his index finger beneath my chin, lifting my face up to meet his.
“Well, I’d love to change the boyfriend bit,” He smiled, running his fingers up from the base of my neck and into my hairline, “As for the other bit, I’ll wait for you.” I looked into his honest blue eyes and smiled. He kissed my forehead and pulled me in for a hug. I happily wrapped my arms around him and sat there for a moment, thinking about the last time I was with someone. It worried me. It scared me to death.
“Right,” Ed pulled his head away from mine “How about some breakfast?” I nodded, accepting his offer. I quickly pulled on an old knitted jumper and led him out into my kitchen.
“What do you want to eat?” I asked. I pulled out a frying pan, assuming that he’ll want bacon and eggs. All boys want bacon and eggs.
“Well, now that you’ve got that out bacon and eggs I think.” He grinned. I smiled back and laughed to myself, pulling out the ingredients I needed from the fridge and putting the electric hob on full blast. I poured myself some cereal while I was waiting for the rings to heat up, “Are you not having any?” Ed asked, walking up behind me, placing a warm hand on the small of my back. I shook my head looking up at him,
“I’m a vegetarian.” I stated and smiled. I nodded his head and smiled back,
“Fair enough,” He wrapped his arms around my waist again just as the buzzer to my door started vibrating loudly against the door. “I’ll get it.” Ed offered and kissed my cheek before jogging to the door.
“Leave the door open for him!” I called through to Ed. I knew it was Harry; he’s the only person that visits me on a regular basis. Ed came back into the kitchen after unlocking the door, placing his hands on my hips once again. I served up his bacon and eggs and set it on the table for him, making extra for Harry too and setting it down next to Ed’s.
Ed pulled me into a tight hug and kissed me softly; I closed my eyes and relaxed into his strong chest, keeping him close to me.
“Urrghh, I did not need to see that first thing in the morning.” Harry said quietly dragging a chair out from under the table and flopping himself down, tucking into his breakfast. I pulled away from Ed and signalled for him to sit down and eat. I followed him over, bringing my bowl of cereal with me.
“How much did you drink last night?” I asked Harry sitting next to him, he instantly leaned his head on my shoulder, his sunglasses still attached to his face,
“Way too much,” He whined, I wrapped an arm around his shoulder and laughed. “I can’t even remember how I got home.” He moaned again and cuddled up to my stomach. Ed shook his head and smiled into his food, “Wait a second!” Harry exclaimed, sitting up and whipping his sunglasses from his eyes, “You two spent the night together.” He noted with a coy smile. I rolled my eyes,
“Yeah, so?” Ed smiled back cheekily, knowing that he was about to get the both of us in trouble. Harry is my best friend, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not one to keep gossip quiet if he thinks it’s worth sharing.
“Well, I won’t ask any more questions about that then.” He raised his eye brows and smiled turning back to his food. Ed’s phone started to ring at that point, excusing him from the table to answer it in my room. As soon as the door closed Harry snapped his face up to mine. “Tell me everything!” He whispered in mock aggression,
“Oh chill out, we didn’t do anything. We watched a film then went to sleep.” I answered truthfully, having another mouthful of my cereal,
“You really didn’t do anything?” He asked, disappointment spread across his face. I shook my head,
“Sorry babe.” I had just about finished my breakfast when Ed walked back into the kitchen fully dressed, “Everything okay?” I asked as he came up beside me, resting a hand on my shoulder,
“Yeah, I’ve gotta run though. My interview with SBTV starts in about half an hour and I need a change of clothes from my hotel.” He smiled apologetically,
“It’s okay,” I smiled and kissed his cheek, “See you later.” He kissed me quickly on the lips and gave Harry a man hug, before kissing me again and walking out of my door. I turned back to look at Harry who was giving me the look that only the best of friends could understand.