Dirty Little Secret

“He’s always an asshole, Jack – what’s so different about it this time?” Alex asked. I was lying on his bed the next afternoon, watching him raid his closet as he looked for something to wear on his date with Martin tonight.

“I... I don’t know,” I sighed, rolling over and burying my face in his pillow. It would be so much easier if I could just tell him that I was dating Zack. But if I told him, he would probably hate me. So that wasn’t an option.

“Zack’s just like the rest of them. He’s a cocky bastard,” Alex said. “How does this one look?”

I sat up and looked him over, shaking my head. “Hell no. Green is not your color, and plaid is stupid.”

“I have nothing else to wear!” Alex whined, unbuttoning the shirt and throwing it on the ground. I rolled my eyes and got up, walking over to his closet.

“Out of my way,” I said, pushing him away. I dug through his closet and found a plain white v-neck shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. I handed them to him. “Put these on.”

“It looks plain,” Alex grumbled, but he tugged off his jeans and pulled the clothes on anyway. He turned to me when he was dressed, and I grinned.

“Perfect. You look hot,” I told him.

Alex laughed, looking in the mirror to fix his hair, “Of course I’m hot. I’m Alex Gaskarth.”

“Alright, dickhead, calm the ego,” I chuckled. “So when is Martin supposed to be here?”

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Alex’s eyes widened. “Oh no, that’s him! I’m not ready yet – I still have to fix my hair and brush my teeth and-“

“Chill out, dude! I’ll get the door. Take your time,” I said, rolling my eyes. I headed downstairs quickly, opening the front door. Martin looked surprised to see me.

“Oh, hey Jack,” Martin said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

I motioned for him to come inside, “Hey Martin. Alex is upstairs, still getting ready. He was having outfit dilemmas so I came over to help him.”

“That would explain why you’re here,” Martin chuckled.

I nodded. “Yup. Don’t worry, I made him look hot for your date.”

“Jack! Quit it, you’re gonna make him think you like me or something,” I heard Alex scold, his voice garbled by the toothbrush that was in his mouth. He walked into the kitchen to spit out his toothpaste.

“Just because I think someone’s hot doesn’t mean I like them! Martin’s hot too!” I called out, making sure Alex heard me. Martin turned red.

Alex walked back into the living room, scowling at me, “Don’t hit on every guy, whore.”

I stuck my tongue out at him before walking toward the front door. “I get the hint, I know when I’m not wanted. I’ll just go home to my house, where I’ll wallow in my own sorrows over no one liking me.”

“Oh my god, quit being so dramatic. And do you even know what wallowing is?” Alex asked, shaking his head.

“No, but I’ll find out!” I whined, shutting the front door behind me as Martin and Alex both laughed at me.

--------------------

I didn’t talk to Zack the entire weekend, and I refused to talk to him on Monday or Tuesday. By Wednesday, I finally gave in and decided to respond to one of his texts. I was sitting in sixth period, bored out of my mind, when Zack sent me a text.

From: Zack
If you’re finished ignoring me, would you please meet me outside the boys’ locker rooms after school today?

I frowned at the text. Was he going to gang up on me down there or apologize? Either way, I figured I should go.

From: Jack
Ok.

When class was over, I took my time getting my backpack and books out of my locker. Alex and Rian left school before I could talk to them, so that was probably a good thing. Now I wouldn’t have to tell them where I was going. I finally headed downstairs to the locker rooms, and that’s when it clicked – there were no sports or anything going on in January. The hall with the locker rooms was empty. No wonder Zack wanted to meet me down here.

Zack was sitting against the wall when I pushed open the door to the hallway, and he jumped to his feet. “There you are. I was starting to think you weren’t going to show up.”

I just crossed my arms, staring Zack down.

“Look, I know I fucked up. I’m stupid. I should have stuck up for you when Shane and Logan were harassing you at the mall, but I chickened out,” Zack said.

I shrugged, “It’s just your asshole side showing again. It never really went away.”

Zack sighed, “I’m sorry, okay? It’s not as easy as it seems. I’m afraid to let our relationship come out. It’s a stupid thing to be afraid of, but I’m terrified. You must have been scared too when you first came out of the closet. I’m not ready to do that yet.”

“You realize that sticking up for me doesn’t require telling everyone that you’re gay, right?” I argued.

“I realize that now,” Zack said, running a hand through his short, messy hair. “I wasn’t thinking at the time. I promise that if anything like that ever happens again, I’ll stop them. Hell, I’ll beat them up, if you want me to. I’ve been looking for an excuse to beat those assholes up for a long time.”

I smiled slightly, then remembered I was mad at him and my smile disappeared. “That really hurt, watching you stand there and do nothing. It was like you didn’t care about me enough to stick up for me,” I admitted.

“I care about you, Jack. Trust me, I do. I’m just a moron who can’t do the right thing. I’m sorry.”

I looked at him for a few moments, before deciding that he was being sincere. “I forgive you. But you’re still an asshole.”

“I’ll try to work on that,” Zack chuckled, stepping forward and hugging me tightly. I hugged him back before kissing him softly.

“We should probably get out of here before the janitors find us,” I mused, pulling away from the hug .

Zack smiled, “Yeah, come on. Drive your car over to my house so we can hang out for a little while.”