We'll Fall in Love After Midnight

"So I heard you and my brother got in an argument today," Vic said while looking at the menu.

"Well, he is an asshole, so of course there was an argument," I rolled my eyes.

Vic sighed and stayed quiet until it was time for us to order. I ordered first and handed my menu to our waitress. Vic did the same and looked at me after she walked away.

"You know you miss him, Maci," he said quietly.

"Vic, I thought we came here to have dinner and have fun, not talk about someone who doesn't matter."

He shook his head, "don't act like that. Just talk about it, then we'll have good ol' Maci and Vic time."

I stared at him and sighed, "fine, Vic, you win." I looked down at my lap, "I do miss him. I just...I'm scared of letting him be my only one again because I wasn't his only one. He didn't trust me and that hurts," I looked back at him. "Every single guy I've been with has cheated one me. I didn't think Mike would do that to me."

"Mike hates himself so much for hurting you. He honestly does, Maci, I'm not just saying that. He doesn't go out with us, he sat at home on New Year's eve, he just stays home and mopes. His temper is another problem. You say one thing to the guy and he blows the fuck up at us over nothing."

"Are you trying to guilt trip me?" I swirled my drink with my straw, avoiding eye contact.

"No, I'm just being honest with you," he said.

"It almost makes me want to be with him and cheat on him, just so he can know how it actually fucking feels," I looked at him.

Vic stopped talking about it when our food came. We talked about upcoming stuff and the new album; the usual. I did miss hanging out with him and hearing his dumb little stories. I drove him back to the apartments they were staying at afterwards. We hugged each other goodbye, giving a kiss on the cheek.

-

Two days passed since dinner. I thought a lot about Mike and what Vic said. Sure I want this year to be my year and be independent, but a big part of me wants somebody Mike there. Its different telling your friends different and exciting things than telling your boy. I miss calling Mike and hearing him get excited for me. I just miss him.

I drove to the studio and sat in the car nervously. My tummy was knotting up as I thought about going in there. I was scared that Mike would still be pissed off and not care about talking to me. I finally got the nerve to walk in there, feeling like I was going to throw up with every step.

The guys looked at me in shock when I walked in. We said hello and I looked at where their producer was looking. Mike was tracking drums for a song. Hearing him play the same thing over and over again for about an hour made me feel at ease while I talked to the guys. I had forgotten all about feeling nervous about talking to Mike.

Mike finally got it good and came back to join everyone. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me, looking at the others while he wiped his neck with a towel. I nibbled at my cheek and shifted my eyes to the door and back to him. The guys paid no attention to us as he gave me a nod and I got off of the couch next to Jaime. We walked outside after he grabbed a hoodie.

"So why are you here?" He asked, pulling his hoodie over his head.

"Because I've been thinking a lot," I said.

He pulled a cigarette out, "yeah? About what?"

"Us," I rubbed my arms trying to warm myself up.

His eyes went wide as he took a drag, "what about us?"

I felt myself wanting to cry while he held me tight. My chest began getting tight and I shook my head, "I...I don't want to talk about it here."

"Then lets go to your place," he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and walked me to my car.

I handed him my keys and walked to the passenger side and got in. Mike started the car and began going back to my apartment. I stared out the window trying to keep calm but it wasn't helping. Mike grabbed onto my hand at a stop light, giving it a kiss before squeezing it tightly. I swallowed some of my tears away and smiled at him.

-

I laid in my bed while Mike took a shower since he was still sweaty from playing drums. He walked back into the room with a towel around his waist, "are there any of my clothes here?"

"Are you kidding me? I burned those." His face dropped. "I'm kidding, they're still all in the closet, hats and all," I smiled and pulled my comforter closer to my face, closing my eyes.

The bed sunk in next to me, making me open my eyes. Mike pulled the comforter over himself while scooting closer to me, "so what'd you wanna talk about?"

I tried to figure out what exactly to say while my hands lightly grazed over his warm skin, "I... I just really fucking miss you. I've turned into this stupid, heartless bitch to protect myself from getting hurt but its just hurting me. Vic told me how you've been upset and snapping at everyone, and that hurts me just as much. I hate knowing that you're not happy."

His hand rested on my hip while he stared into my eyes, "I guess you could say I've been acting the same way. I just feel like taking all my anger for myself, out on everyone else. All I do lately is just push everyone away, as if its their fault you broke up with my sorry ass." I didn't say anything as I cupped his neck, rubbing his tattoo with my thumb. "I try and convince myself everyday that I need to move on, that you don't want me back."

"I try convincing myself with that too, but it doesn't work. It just makes me miss you more."

"We don't have to be official again, just let me back into your life. I don't know how else to be happy lately without you," he kissed my forehead.

I nodded, "we just have to work on stuff and talk some things out, take it slow."

We took a nap until Tony called our phones looking for us. I felt happy waking up next to him for the first time in weeks and knowing we were on better terms. I just hope letting my guard back down won't fuck me over.