I'm Not Retarded, Just Unique

Frank awoke once more, but feeling a whole lot better. It was now early in the afternoon and Frank felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. He noticed the breakfast tray on his desk and he quickly got up to investigate it. He poked around at the cold breakfast before devouring it. Frank didn't mind that his eggs or toast had gotten cold, he always likes Marie's food, no matter how it was prepared.

After he ate, he took a shower and got dressed. He carried his shoes downstairs for Marie to tie for him. His grandmother was watching some television show that Frank wasn't very fond of. Frank loved watching cartoon or movies. Marie enjoyed watching romantic things and corny sop-operas.

He put his shoes on and then cleared his throat. Marie didn't hear him so he kept doing it until he began coughing out loud and making other whimpering noises. Marie finally turned around and noticed Frank. Frank stood still and waiting for Marie to see his shoes. He always felt bad making her tie his shoes, but he was unable to do it himself.

“Hey, Frankie,” Marie smiled. She came over and tied the young mans shoes.

“Grandma, I want to-uh, to-uh to see, to go to Gerard and Mikey. To see Gerard and Mikey, I want to go.” Frank stuttered out and Marie was a bit surprised at this.

“Oh, okay, you can go.” Marie would never deny Frank of his friends. They were his first and she wanted Frank to be as happy as he could possibly be.

“Yes! Really? I can go? Happy! I'm happy, now? Can we go now? I'd be happy to go now.” Marie let out a little chuckle before turning on the TV.

'Yes, we can go now and see if they are home. Just let me get ready.” Marie got her coat on and grabbed her car keys. Frank skipped out of the house and waited by the car. He watched as Marie's old, wrinkly hand locked the house and unlocked the car.

She turned it on and Frank buckled up. The drive was as exciting for Frank was the first time he'd been over. Marie hoped the time wasn't inconvenient for Gerard, she'd hate to see the look of dismay on Frank's face.

It took only a short amount of time to get to Gerard's home. Frank jumped out of the car as soon as it was turned off and turned to face Marie.

“Yes, can I go alone? I call if issue.” Frank said rather boldly catching Marie of guard.

“I'll stay here until he opens the door, alright?” Frank nodded and kissed his grandmother's cheek before he pounced over to the door. He knocked three times before he sat and waited. It only took a few minuets for Gerard to answer his door. He was shocked to see Frank standing there though.

“Hi!” The young male said enthusiastically. “Can I stay here? Hang out,” Frank told Gerard and he looked over Frank.

“Uh, sure, yea, if you want,” Frank grinned at this and turned to face Marie's car. He waved and then turned back to Gerard once the car drove off. “I come in, yes?” Gerard moved out of the way and allowed Frank into his home.

“What are you doing here? Did you just want to hang out?” Frank nodded as he took off his shoes.

“Yes, I woke up, um, upset. Then, I fell asleep, again. I woke up happier. Mikey? Is Mikey here?” Frank looked around for him but Gerard shook his head.

“No, he went home yesterday. He will be at school though.” Gerard smiled and Frank frowned a bit.

“Oh, okay, time with Gerard.” Frank's face lightened up a bit as Gerard ran a hand through his messy raven hair. He still was in his pjs and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't woken up just minuets before Frank arrived. He'd also be lying if he denied the only reason he got out of bed was for Frank.

“You want to watch, like, a movie?” Gerard asked Frank and he nodded. “You can pick it out if you want, here let me show you where they are.” Gerard motioned for Frank to followed him, He led him to a medium sized shelving unit filled with movies. Frank quickly began searching through each and every one. Gerard took this time to get his coffee made and done. He returned with his second cup, having downing the first one, and Frank had just decided on watching a Batman movie.

“Do you want some snacks?” Gerard looked at Frank who shook his head.

“I had breakfast,” He said. Gerard just nodded as the movie started.

About an hour into the movie, Batman and Robin were in the Bat Cave trying to figure out there next plan to catch The Riddler. Frank's full attention was on the movie. He sat up, hunched over a bit, hanging on every word that fell out of Batman's mouth. Gerard thought it was quite adorable how Frank looked like such a kid. He half expected Frank to started jumping around the house pretending to be Batman once the movie was over. The thought made Gerard laugh a bit. The elder man was still a bit tired and wondered if he could take a short nap before the movie was over. He looked over at Frank and thought that he wouldn't mind all that much. He took the chance and closed his eyes, ready to get a few minuets of sleep.

xoxoxoxo

Frank clapped once the credits to the movie stared scrolling past the screen. He adored the movie with every fiber in his body. He had this large grin on his face and he left so energized.

“Wow! Gerard, that, that was good, awesome, that was awesome. WOW!” Frank was so gitty over the movie. He turned to ask Gerard was his favorite part was when he noticed he was asleep. Frank's face looked concerned as he stared at Gerard's sleeping face. He wondered if he was sleeping before Frank came over. Frank soon began to feel bad, wondering if he messed with Gerard's sleeping pattern. He felt guilty, as his mind began to wonder. What if he was sick? What if he had a bad night of sleep? What if he really didn't want Frank over? Frank let out a small whimper as he poked Gerard's arm. Gerard let out a small snort before blinking his eyes opened. He looked around before stopping at Frank.

“Oh shoot, sorry, is the movie over?” Gerard rubbed his eyes and yawned a bit. He hadn't mean to have fallen asleep for so long. He felt extremely bad.

“I can, uh, go,” Frank pointed to the front door of the apartment. He was biting his lip nervously and picking at his finger nails.

“Oh, do you have to go now?” Gerard looked at the clock, realizing it was still pretty early. Maybe Frank just had an early curfew.

“Uh-no, I can, uh-stay. Did I, um, r-ru-ruin, yes ruin, your sleep. I can stay, if I did not ruin, your sleep. I do-do not like, ruining your sleep. It's yours.” Gerard stared at Frank for a moment before understanding the situation.

“No! No, no, your fine Frank. I was just a bit tired. You didn't interrupt my sleeping pattern. Your fine, really.” Gerard insisted and Frank seemed to be more relaxed at this. Frank gave Gerard a small smile before looking at the blank TV.

“So Frank, what do you want to do?” Gerard asked the smaller male. Watching as his bright green eyes stared at every object in the room. Frank's dark hair was in his eyes and it made Gerard want to tuck it away behind his ears.

“Uh-uh n-not sure. I...you, what do you want to-uh do?” Frank changed the topic of the sentence around and Gerard thought over it. He really just wanted to watch some TV and relax, but he was afraid he'd bored Frank by that plan.

“I don't know,” Gerard shrugged. He got up and turned off the DVD player and television. He put the Batman movie away and stretched a bit. When he turned back around, Frank was no longer on the couch. Gerard's heart stopped for a millisecond before he heard a small thud in the other room. Gerard went into his bedroom where he found Frank. The boy was on his knees looking through all of Gerard's music. Gerard stood in the doorway, watching as Frank shuffled through every CD he owned. Frank looked and felt like a kid in a candy store. He loved music and he didn't have as much as Gerard had. Gerard must have had at least a hundred. Frank was overwhelmed and he couldn't decide which one to listen to. He blindly reached out and grabbed one CD. He read the words Radiohead on it and smiled. He had heard of them before from his dad. Even if the Frank's father did nothing but hurt him, Frank still loved him. He would always have CD lying on the floor or something playing in the cassette player. Frank's fondest memories were of him lying on the floor and listening to the lyrical melodies.

Frank got to his feet, he wondered if Gerard would let him play the CD for him. Frank looked up and jumped when he saw Gerard standing in the doorway. Frank dropped the CD and quickly scrambled to pick it up before it hit the ground. He barely managed to, but he caught it.

“Nice catch,” Gerard smiled and Frank blushed a bit.

“Um-sorry, uh-uh-, music, can we listen to, music, this,” Frank showed Gerard the CD and Gerard nodded to himself.

“That's a good album, we can listen to it if you want.” Frank's face brightened up and Gerard put the CD into his laptop and began playing through the tracks. Frank was right next to the computer, listening to every word that came out of the speakers. Gerard smiled a bit, thinking it was adorable how Frank always looked like such a child.

Gerard crawled onto his bed and grabbed his sketchbook. He opened up to a blank page and began doodling away. He let his pencil carry him whenever it wanted listening to the music that came out of his speakers. Gerard would smile when he heard Frank sing along to a song after he got the lyrics down. Gerard would sing along to when some of his more favored songs came on.

When the song Creep came on, Gerard's face broke out into a soft smile. He began to hum along to the melody before the main chorus came on.

“I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.”

Frank looked up when he heard Gerard sing the song perfectly. Frank when the song ended Frank replayed it just to heard Gerard sing again. Gerard noticed this and all he did was sing along once more. Frank replayed the song yet again before Gerard set his pencil down.

“Frank, we listened to this song three times already.” Gerard pointed out and Frank stopped the song.

“I liked this song. I liked, the way, you sing.” Frank admitted. Gerard voice gave Frank butterflies. “You-uh, you and the song, uh..um, make me feel..happy, special.”

“Why does it make you feel special?” Gerard asked and Frank shrugged.

“My dad, he says things that make Marie, mad. He sent me a card yesterday, Marie got to mad at him...because he said he was coming to visit me, but he, won't. I want to see him, I miss him. Marie said, he was just-um unhappy because I was special and he wasn't. I, um...I..” Frank just shrugged, not knowing where he was going with this.

“Was your dad mean to you, Frank?” Gerard asked, curious about the subject of this boys father.

“I don't know, Marie said he was. I don't, I don't know.” Frank began to twitch and fidget. Gerard decided it was best to let go of the topic, aware of that fact that Frank wasn't about to talk or tell about how he felt.

“Do you like music, Frank?” Gerard changed the subject entirely, hoping it would lighten up Frank's mood. He succeeded when Frank grinned up at him.

“Yes, yes, yes I love music. I-I love it! Marie says, I have a...a special gift in, music. I-I think she's silly. Yes, I like music.”

“Why does she say that?”

“She says it, because, I-I can play guitar. That is good. Most, most people, she says, can't um...can't play it. So, so she says I am special-because, I can.” Gerard obviously knew Marie was talking about people with Frank's mental disorder. Gerard knew it was often seen that people with autism or a different type of illness developed some form of artistic talent. It was rare though, for Frank to find one that required learning alphabetical cords and memorizing them. That must have proven that Frank can improve in his speech if he worked hard enough.

“Mikey can play the guitar too,” Gerard said. Frank smiled at this looking up at Gerard to continue. “He plays the bass.”

“Bass, I read about, the-uh bass in, guitar-in a guitar um...book, yes, in a guitar picture book. Photo book,” Frank pointed to one of the magazines on Gerard's bedroom floor.

“Guitar magazine,” Gerard spoke out loud and Frank nodded. “Do you like reading, Frank?”

“Yes, I-I wish I could read um..better? Better, yes, better, I wish I could read better. I want to, to-uh...uh...to read-uh books that are, larger, larger than um-the book I read. I read small books. Um, the library lady..I don't know her name, she says I read, um-baby books. I'm not a baby. I want-I want to read big books. Do you read big books, Gerard?”

“I don't know, I don't read a whole lot. I just have a small collection of books. I read a lot of comics though.” Gerard told Frank who just nodded a bit.

“Kids at my, old school, they said that c-comics were nerd-uh nerd book. I, looked up nerds. I do not get it.” Frank furrowed his brow and Gerard frowned a bit.

“They aren't for nerds, Frank. They are for anyone who enjoys them. You can't classify books under a label, you read things or do activities because you enjoy them. Not because you are a nerd or anything else.” Frank's eyes shined as Gerard spoke and it made Gerard feel more confident knowing that the boy was and would listen to his words.

“Gerard, you are smart. You should be...be um..be a science, scienceti...sciencetist, scientist. Yes, scientist, Gerard is smart, so he should be a scientist.” Gerard gave a small laugh at Frank's compliment.

“That's very sweet of your Frank, but I'm just being helpful.”

“I wish I could, be helpful, like Gerard.” Frank said, his eyes looking a bit lost.

“You are helpful, Frankie.” Gerard said and Frank stared up at him confused. “Remember when Mikey was crying at school and you helped him out?” Frank nodded, “you were being helpful then.” Frank still pondered over it for a few minuets before his face broke out in a Cheshire grin.

“I'm helpful,” Frank said a small smile on his face. He stared down at Gerard's messy carpet before looking at Gerard. “I like being helpful. It-it makes me feel....uh-warm and uh-” Frank was wiggling his fingers around as if Gerard would understand what he was trying to say. “T-Tingly,” Frank said then pointed to his belly. “Gerard, you and being helpful, make me feel, tingly.”

Frank rubbed his belly and giggled a bit. Gerard half smile down at the boy who seemed to be such a free spirt.

“I like feeling tingly.” Frank giggled and Gerard laughed along with him. Frank's girlish giggles were almost as contagious as his smiles.

Frank jumped to his feet and rushed over to Gerard. He wrapped his arms around Gerard's waist and hugged him, surprising Gerard with the hug. Frank hummed as he nuzzled his face in Gerard's neck, rubbing his nose against Gerard's neck. Gerard's breath hitched in his throat as Frank let out a huff of laughter, sending a chill up Gerard's spine.

“Do you, feel it? The tingles, I feel the tingles.” Frank smiled and Gerard stayed perfectly still for a bit. Slowly he let his breath out and wrapped his arms around Frank, hugging him back. There was a tug in Gerard's stomach that confused the hell out of him but he nodded to Frank's question.

“Yes, I think I feel the tingles.”