What You Don't Know, Can't Hurt You

“Where are we going James?” I asked as we sped up the road, not in the direction of our house.

“We’re going to my favorite restaurant to celebrate!” he said with a huge smile.

When we finally arrived we walked in together and he grabbed my hand. I was hesitant at first but proceeded to let him do his thing. The waitress greeted us by saying, “Hello Mr. and Mrs. van Riemsdyk.”

“Oh, we’re not…” I didn’t get to finish my sentence before James was squeezing my hand and giving me his childish grin.

We ordered our food and while we waited James brought up what happened last night.

“So about last night…” he trailed off.

“Umm, yeah...” I didn’t want to be the first one to talk about it. Maybe he was going to say he regretted it and that it never should have happened, but I didn’t feel that way. I wanted to figure out his thoughts before I said mine.

“Listen Zoe, I know it’s kind of awkward and shit, but I’ve waited my whole lifetime for last night. You were by far the best I’ve ever had. I don’t know if it is because I love you so much or because we both have gone through so much pain lately, but I’m serious and I definitely want you to move to Toronto with me.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god,” I said. “I was scared you were going to regret it or something.”

“I would never regret anything that I’ve done with you!” Just as he was finishing his sentence the waitress brought us our food and told us to enjoy. However, with what he just said it was hard to concentrate on anything right now and I could tell he was feeling the exact same way.

We quickly finished up and he left money and a tip on the table. We briskly walked to the car, and sped off. “I can’t wait to get you home and get you naked,” he whispered as he grabbed my hand.

“Fuck you,” I giggled.

“You’re right about that. You will be fucking me.” We both laughed because we knew it was true.

We were about 5 minutes away from the house when my phone beeped. I looked down and it was from Brayden.

“For fuck sakes,” I said out loud.

“What’s he want?” James asked angrily.

He said, “I’m coming over now. We need to talk.”

“Tell him no!” James almost yelled.

“No shit. What do you think I’m going to do? Welcome him in with loving arms?”

Before I could even reply my phone went off again. “What’d he say?” James questioned before I could read it.

“He said he’s coming over in ten and isn’t taking no for an answer.”

“Fuck,” was all that James said.

We reached the house and James stayed in the car. “What are you doing?” I questioned.

“You need to sort your shit out with Brayden. If you need me call and I will be right over. I’m going to Reader’s house because you guys need your privacy.”

“James you don’t have to,” I said, almost wishing he would be there to back me up.

“I won’t be far from here. Call me if anything happens!” he said persistently.

I walked in and sat down, taking a deep breath. Sure enough it wasn’t five minutes later and Brayden was knocking at my door.

I opened the door without saying a word – just stood there staring deep into his eyes. “I’m so so so sorry Zoe.” He went to give me a hug.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I snapped.

The look in his eyes was deadly. If looks could kill I definitely would have been dead right then.

We both went and sat on the couch, neither of us saying a word for the longest time. Tears filled up in my eyes but I needed to ask him that one simple question.

“Why did you do it Bray? We had such a good thing going,” I said while I started full out bawling. He pulled me in for a hug and this time I didn’t protest.

“You love Reemer. You always have and always will. I thought that I could change you, make you love me, but everything was all about James. When I met Jory she was all about me all the time – she filled in the void.”

Still crying my eyes out I managed to say, “Fuck you Brayden!” But he was still holding me in his arms, so I was weak and vulnerable.

“Don’t be like that Zoe. You know it’s true and now you’re probably moving with him, so it would never have worked anyways.”

I thought long and hard about what I was going to say next. “You hurt me Brayden, more than anything. I will never be able to trust anyone as much as I trusted you.”

By this time he had tears in his eyes, too. We looked fucking cute, both of us sitting on the couch bawling our eyes out over something that neither of us could change now.

“I know you don’t believe me but I did love you Brayden. I still do. I feel like I failed the relationship for not loving you enough, even though I put everything I could into it.”

“It’s all my fault. Don’t blame yourself,” he said as the tears flowed down his face.

We were looking at each other and he grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me closer. He kissed me, and I didn’t object, I just went along with it. We made out for a long time. He was on top of me and getting really into it. I was glad we were in the living room just in case James came home, that way we would have a good 5 seconds to stop before he would see us. We continued on kissing, eventually he started playing with my shirt. He started to pull it up and then I came back to reality.

“Brayden!” I managed to say in between kisses.

“I know you want this,” he whispered into my ear, while continuing with kisses down my neck.

“Brayden, stop it,” I said but he continued on. It felt so right to be with him, but yet I knew it was wrong. There was only one way I was going to get him off me. “I slept with James,” I blurted out.

He stood up and quickly put his shirt back on. “What the hell Zoe?!” His face was turning bright red and I could see his eyes filling up. “When?” he questioned.

“Last night,” was all I said, keeping my head down and looking at the floor.

“I fucking knew you guys had a thing. You sure that was the only time?! You were probably fucking him the whole time, right after you fucked me.”

“That isn’t true! But, how would that be any different from what you did to me?” Once I said it I knew I got him good. He didn’t know how to answer.

“For fuck sakes,” he said while just shaking his head. “I’m leaving. Goodbye Zoe have fucking fun living in Toronto with your boy toy.”

He picked his keys up off the table and headed for the door. He looked at me one last time before walking out the door. I felt relieved that we got that all over and done with but I instantly began to cry. I reached for my cell phone and dialed James’ number. “He’s gone,” I sobbed. “Can you come home now please?”

“Did he fucking hurt you? ‘Cause G and Reader and I will go kick his fucking ass right now,” he barked into the phone.

“I’m fine. Just, please come home,” I said in a very whiny voice.

“I’m on my way. See you soon.”

When he got home he hugged me and I told him everything. He didn’t even seem upset at the fact that we made out – it was almost like he expected us to. We laid around for the rest of the night and just watched movies; we were both too exhausted to take it any further than that. We made our way down the hall and into the guest room. I got changed as he dropped his clothes and slid under the sheets wearing only his boxers.

“Let’s get out of here tomorrow,” he proposed.

“Like to where?” I questioned.

“Well I got thinking maybe we could fly up to Toronto for a couple of days and look at places! Maybe find a house or something for next year,” he said excitedly.

“Oh my God! That sounds perfect,” I smiled as I leaned in and kissed him. Next thing I knew I woke up to his body wrapped around mine and what sounded like his phone alarm going off.

“You ready for the big day?” he whispered.

“I sure am. Now go shower so we can leave sooner,” I said as I got up out of bed. I dug out a huge suitcase and began to through some of my clothes and some of his into it. Once he was done I went and showered and soon enough we knew we were waiting to board a plane.

I decided to take a second and tweet, “Toronto for a few days with the best frienddddd!”

It wasn’t two minutes later and my phone was ringing. At the same time, they were calling us to board the plane.

“If it’s Brayden, don’t answer it. Anyone else, make it snappy,” James said in a sassy tone.

“Hello,” I answered.

“Hey, Zoe. It’s Luke!”

“Oh! Hi Luke. What’s up?” Once he said it was Luke my heart sunk.

“I heard you guys were coming to Toronto. I’m not doing anything so I thought I could show you around.”

“Yeah, we are. We’re actually just about to board our flight now, so I’ll call you when we land?”

“Sounds perfect!” he said as he hung up the phone. It didn’t sound like he knew about Brayden and I but I knew he would find out soon enough.

We landed just past noon in Toronto. We headed to our hotel room and checked in and I then decided it would be a good time to call Luke.

He met us for lunch and it turned into being quite long because he wanted every single detail about what happened with me and Brayden.

“He’s such a fucking idiot. I always told our parents that I was the smarter one. I can’t believe he let you go! You were the best thing that ever happened to him, and he gave it all up for some whore?” Luke said and James and I stared at him in shock. We couldn’t believe these words were coming out of Luke’s mouth.

“She’s actually really cool. Like, down to earth and everything. She feels dumb for not figuring it out before, but whatever,” I said.

“Pft. I doubt it. She probably knew exactly who he was and went right after him. She might not of known he had a girlfriend but even if she did know, it wouldn’t have stopped her.”

“I don’t believe that Luke. I went to her apartment and met her. She seemed really nice.”

We finished up lunch and Luke took us on tour of Toronto. Eventually we ended up back at his place having drinks with half the team. They decided that they were going to take James and I out to the clubs to give us a taste of Toronto and they did just that.

The next day was quite rough but we managed to go look at some places. We both fell in love with one that was about half way in between the Air Canada Center and York University, which I was transferring to. Everything about the house was perfect, so it was decided that we would be moving here. The realtor we could move in next week if we wanted.

It was pretty clear by the way James acted that our life is Philadelphia was just about to end.