The Most Commonly Told Lie; I Love You

To see him with her, was more than I could bear. I watched as he kissed her, held her, loved her. I watched as the boy who told me so many times, that he loved me, told her the exact same thing. It killed me. But strangely, I couldn’t pull my eyes from them. I wanted him to see me. I wanted him to know that I caught him. I wanted him to see my face; to see the look on my face, and know that he broke my heart. He didn’t notice my presence for a while, so I continued to watch, But eventually, she noticed me. She stopped, and pulled away from him, and stared at me. He followed her line of sight, and his eyes grew wide when they met mine.

“Its not what you think.” He said to me. I shook my head, turned, and walked out the front door, into the grey rain that feel from the sky, cooling my skin. I walked fast, no longer wanting to see him, or speak to him. I just wanted to be away from him and his lies. I heard the door bang against the wall behind me as he ran out of the house in pursuit.

“Baby, wait!” I didn’t wait. I kept walking.“Please, stop! Listen to me!” He caught me up, grabbing my arm, and turning me to face him.“Its not what you think.”

“Its exactly what I think!” I snapped at him“I was so stupid to think that you and I had a chance! How stupid could I be, to not see that you would do this to me! How could I think that you loved me- even for a second!?”

He looked hurt, his eyes pleaded for me to listen to his retaliation, to fall under his spell, and feel loved again.“I do love you...”

“NO YOU DONT!” I yelled at him. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have done this! You wouldn’t have been with HER! You don’t love me, you never did, and you never will!”

I pulled away from him, and he grabbed me back.
“There is nobody I would rather be with! I love you! Your the only one I want to see in my future.” He pleaded with me.

“Quit lying to me, and yourself. You know thats not true. If you wanted to be with me, you would have been with me. But you were with her. You lied to me. And I wont let you lie to me again. You messed up.”

I could feel myself starting to tear up. I hoped to God that he would only think the tears running down my face was nothing but the rain.

He let his hand fall away from my arm and I told him, “I’m happy for you. You found who you want to be with, so go be with her. I want you too. I want you to be happy with who ever you want. For however long it is until you grow bored with them. Just like you did with the girl before me, just like you did with me, and just like you will with her. I loved you. I truly did. Know that; So whenever your kissing her, you’ll remember me. I want you to remember the look on my face when you destroyed the last bit of my heart that was yours.”

"If you give me one more chance," he started, " I swear to god I will never hurt you again. I never wanted you to get hurt, and its killing me to see you upset like this."

He stepped forward and put his moved his hands towards my face. He held my face towards his, so that I would be able to see his pleading eyes. "I promise you, if you give me one more chance, you won't regret it. I'll make you happy again, and I will never even look at another girl."

I just watched him, knowing all his words were just repeated lies.
"I love you." His voice sounded weak, almost helpless. I grabbed his wrists and pulled him off of me.
He watched as I took a few steps away from him and tried to keep my voice from cracking.

“If you loved me at all, none of this would have happened. You never loved me. You're not good for me, but your the only one I see. The only one I loved. I want you to be happy. So go be happy.”

I turned around, and continued to walk home. He didn’t come after me.