Behind the Lines

Have you ever been in a situation where one moment everything is going perfectly and the next your whole world seems to be crashing down on you? Have you ever had that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach?

That’s exactly what I was going through right now as I look at the faces of the people that caused me hell. I feel glad that I came to the Silver Leaf Moon Pack because if I stayed there, I probably would have killed myself from the torture of ignorance that would occur every day.

Running away from where I am standing is definitely on my mind right now. I want to go up to my room and just lock myself in there, escaping the daunting stares from these people. I want to do that so badly, but I will not.

I do not want them to see my weaknesses. I want to show them I am not the same little weak girl I was before I left. I want to put up a brave front no matter how much hell they had put me through, I want to show them that I am above them. I want to give them the hell they caused me. I want to show them I moved on. I want them to know that I don’t care about them anymore.

So I plant my feet firmly on the ground and carry an expressionless mask on my face even though many feelings course through my veins this very second. I cross my arms over my chest and maintain my stance when Rob speaks.

“Red Moon Pack!” his voice booms, but not in an authoritative way— a way which gets his voice across and does not frighten the already shivering people. “Who did this to you?”

The pack’s eyes that were previously on me snap over to Rob as if they did not even notice him at the top of our group. From behind the Red Moon Pack crowd, someone walks forward to the front. The crowd creates a path to let the person through. Eventually the werewolf makes it to the front of the pack, his eyes staring directly into mine. I find myself staring back intently, unable to pull away from the hypnotic gaze, pulling me in ever so slowly. It is like staring at a pool of melted chocolate, the swirls telling the story of his life. It felt as if we were the only two people in the world, and everyone else just faded away into oblivion.

Mate. Mate. My inner wolf repeats perpetually as if it were a song on repeat.

Someone clears their throat, forcing me to reluctantly snap out of the trance. I immediately put my head down and direct my eyes to stare at my shoes, without even looking at the face of my mate.

Rob’s voice once again rings clear, but I cannot bring myself to focus on whatever he is saying. My mind drifts back to the hypnotic eyes of my mate, replaying the image over and over again. As I reply the swirling of my mind, something clicks in my head and I immediately know who my mate it.

In order to prove my suspicion, I immediately snap my head up and notice the eyes of chocolate are still looking at me. Not even paying attention to his eyes, I snap them over to scan the rest of his face.

My suspicion proves to be correct. While my wolf howls in delight, my human finds herself breaking all over again, past memories playing like a movie in fast forward in her mind.

My mate is none other than Landon Reynolds. The one guy that ruined my whole life and one of the reasons I ran away. But I guess I did something horrendous in my past life, because karma just keeps biting me in the butt over and over again.

Tears build up in my eyes and I forget about putting up a brave front and push past my pack to go to my room. Someone follows me and I sniff the air discreetly to know that it is Caleb that is following me.

Caleb. Poor Caleb. We just got together and I have to let him go. I do not want to use him for my personal gain or to piss off Landon. Caleb is too sweet for that and I cannot hurt him that way knowing he would never do that to me.

I enter the bedroom door and wait for Caleb to come in. Once he enters, I close the door and lock it. When I turn he is already on the bed, waiting for me with open arms, knowing that I am going to break down crying. And I do once I land in those arms that I will only have the privilege to stay in for the last time.

I cry into him, clutching his shirt while he whispers a bunch of sweet nothings in my ear and rubs my back comfortingly.

I cry into him, knowing I will always be alone from now on. I can never accept Landon as my mate even if he accepts me. I can never go back to the pack that pushed me out in the first place. I know that deep down, I will love Landon, but in reality we will never have a normal relationship. I will not let him in my life. Even if he promises to protect me and love me, he cannot protect me from the jeers of disapproval from my family and the rest of his pack. I cannot be with him knowing I will be a freak in the eyes of his pack. I cannot be with him because of her.

The day she left was the day a part of me died. It was a day where everyone lost a piece of themselves and they needed a scapegoat. That scapegoat was me. Landon and his friends made me the scapegoat, accusing me of making her take away her own life.

But no one listened to me. Not even Landon, the biggest culprit in this whole dilemma. He could never be accused because he is the Alpha. Who would have thought the Alpha would hurt someone so bad? Is it not his job to bring out the best of everyone in his pack? Apparently he does not think so.

I will never be with him until he confesses his crime. But I know he will never do that. He does not have the courage.

I finally calm down enough to know what my final decision about Landon is. My breathing comes out in ragged huffs.

“What happened?” Caleb’s voice drowns out the sound of our breathing.

“Caleb?” I hesitantly start.

“Yeah?”

“I can’t be with you anymore.”

The grip he has on me loosens and falls until he pulls me off of his lap.

“Who is he?” he urges, looking me in the eyes, showing me the hurt and anger he currently is going through.

“Landon,” I whisper, looking down at the floor of my room.

He huffs out angrily wipes away his angry tears roughly, looking at anywhere but me. This time it is my turn to comfort him.

I scoot over to him and wrap my arms around his torso. He tries to get away but all I do is tighten my hold on him. I am stronger than him and he knows that. Eventually he gives in and wraps his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. I can feel his hot tears dripping on my shoulder. I rub my hand down his back and pull him down so we are both lying in bed. I tangle my legs with his and put his head on my chest, running my hand through his hair.

Soon enough he calms down.

“I’m rejecting him,” I say bluntly, no emotion in my voice.

He lifts his head up and looks at me.

“Why?” he simply asks.

“Because, I can’t be in his pack if he doesn’t fess up about what he did. He hurt me in so many ways. I can’t forgive because he’s my mate and I can’t be with you because I will only hurt you further,” I look straight into Caleb’s eyes, mine showing no deception.

“Are you telling me you will never forgive him?” Caleb asks.

“Not until he confesses. But knowing him, his ego will get in the way. He can’t be known as the alpha who led someone to their death.”

“You won’t ever be happy. Will you not attempt to find anyone that suits you?”

“No,” I say seriously. “Just because I am rejecting him doesn’t mean I don’t love him. If I be with anyone else, the guilt will eat me up and it will disconnect me with my wolf.”

“Your wolf is already fading?”

“No, but it will once I reject him. But as a Royal Black wolf, I will still be able to shift and have the same power. I just will not be able to… talk to her and feel what she is feeling. She’ll shut off when I am not wolf. She’ll stay dormant until I claim my mate.”

Silence overtakes the room once again. We are left in our own thoughts for a while, before Caleb speaks again.

“I still want to go on that date with you tomorrow. Not as a couple, but as friends. It will get your mind off of everything,” Caleb proposes.

I think about for a few moments and a smile breaks onto my face despite the situation.

“I still want to go with you, Caleb.” He breaks into a huge smile and hugs me tightly.

“Journey, we may have broken up, but know I will always be there for you as a friend. If you ever need anyone, don’t be afraid to come to me,” he adds, on a more serious note.

“No shit, best friend,” I smirk.

“There’s the girl I know!” Caleb exclaims and smiles.

“Caleb?”

“Yeah?”

“Where are you taking me tomorrow?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”

“Please?” I beg, putting on my best puppy dog eyes, no pun intended. I love how Caleb can change the mood and take my mind off of things.

“You know those never work on me, Journey, so stop trying. You’ll find out tomorrow,” Caleb closes the discussion with his eyes signaling me to not say anything. If I do, he will tickle me to death or throw me in the pool out back. I am hoping it is not the latter.

“Ugh, fine,” I resign, relaxing into the pillow.

“How are you going to be like in front of your old pack?” Caleb suddenly asks.

I sigh, “I am going to act like the way I am around you guys. I am not going to let them stomp all over me like I did before. This week is going to go as planned if Rob lets them stay.”

“This is one of the reasons why people here like you.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“You’re strong willed, not because you’re a Royal but because you know for a fact that you did nothing wrong. Others may hurt you, but you stay the way you are. You’re too mature for your age. You know what to do and when to do it. But you know how to let loose and act like a maniac.” He laughs at that when I smack him on his shoulder.

“Continue,” I urge, though a blush on my cheeks is forming already.

“You are too humble. You never take full credit. Your soul is pure and you always have a smile on your face. Your one of the most beautiful people I have ever met, inside and out and it is a shame that your old pack lost such a person.”

The blush intensifies and I keep myself from hugging the living daylights out of Caleb. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

“Thank you for being there for me, Caleb.”

“You never need to thank me. All you need to do is know I care.” He leaves a kiss on my forehead and lies next to me on the pillow.

“Caleb and Journey, come down to the yard please. We are having a brief meeting with everyone.” Rob orders through the mind link, and though I do not want to leave, I have to because what the boss wants is what the boss gets.

Caleb and I sigh simultaneously but get up from the bed anyway. We both walk slowly next to each other, stalling to get to the meeting. But unfortunately, we get there in two minutes. Before I step out, I take a deep breath and put on an expressional face once more, as to not show any emotions. I told Caleb I will be myself, but for now, I do not want anyone to see my emotions that my face always seems to give away.

As soon as Rob sees us walk out and take our seats, he starts talking. I see Claire standing next to Gavin, already taking her spot as Alpha Female.

“Today has been a rather eventful day, if I do say so myself,” Rob starts, making a few people chuckle here and there. “But I am not here to make a speech about our day, but as to what the hell is going on. The Red Sun Pack was earlier attacked by hunters.” People from our pack and guests gasp at the surprise. There has not been an attack in years.

“We don’t know why they attacked and we don’t know where they are now. What we do know is when and where they will attack next.” Questions and concerns erupt in the crowd, but just as they start, the sound vanishes when Rob signals them to be quiet.

“They will attack in fifty-eight days. November twenty-eight, Thanksgiving weekend right here on the Silver Leaf Moon territory. For those of you visiting this week, I advise you to stay for the week as planned for security reasons. I do not want anyone getting attacked off the premises of the territory. Prank Week will go on as continued and you will head home next week if there is no danger involved. Guests, many of you are alphas and betas. Please notify your packs that there is danger present and we can use all the help we can get.

“For the Red Sun Pack. You will be staying with us until Thanksgiving since you have nowhere to go and your town will take many months to fix up before you can go back. This week will be a little tight in the house. I assure you, if need be, extra rooms and houses will be made for you next week once our guests leave. This attack that the hunters have had a hand at has started a war between their world and our world.

“Please enjoy this week, because next week we will be starting training. Young children, disabled, and the elderly, you will not attend these training sessions. The elderly will keep a vigilant eye out for the young and disabled during these sessions and when the time comes for war, you will go down to the basement shelter. We may have started a war, but I don’t need everyone to die in the worst case scenario.

“Sliver Leaf Moon Pack, I will assign you a time to scout our territory. Once the Red Sun Pack fully recovers, they will also send their own people to scout. There will always be at least five people on patrol. I’m truly sorry that I will mess up your schedule and sleeping patterns for the ones I assign in the night, but this has to be done to ensure a safe environment.

“Alpha Landon has temporarily given me permission to be the alpha of your pack. I will be your alpha, whether you like it or not, but Landon sees it best since you are all at a loss of a great alpha and he is not ready to take his position as of yet.

“That is all I have to say. Tonight, Gavin, Landon, Lloyd, Journey, and I will scout the perimeter. Please come see me now for extra orders. Everyone else is dismissed.”

Rob finishes the meeting and goes over to Claire to kiss her forehead. He whispers something in her ear and she sighs somberly and gives Rob a hug before going in the house with the rest.

Before I go up to Rob and face Landon and Lloyd, I give Caleb a quick hug before letting him go. My friends all pass by me and look at me with sad eyes, knowing that I have to spend my night with the two people I am not in good relations with right now. I give them all a reassuring smile and mouth “I’ll be fine.” The give me sad smiles in return and some pats on the back before going inside. I take a deep breath and march my up to Rob confidently.

Everyone is already there with sad expressions on their face, except for Landon. His face lights up when he sees me, showing love and care. It breaks my heart that I have to reject him, but my heart sews right back up when I see Lloyd looking at me disgustingly, pure hatred in his eyes.

“Okay guys. You know how to patrol the territory. Keep a vigilant eye out for anything. Anything could happen even though they have given their confirmation for the next attack. We don’t know how their mind works so we need to be prepared for anything. The moment you see anything fishy, you mind link me. If you think you cannot stay awake, please inform me and I will switch you with someone else. This won’t work if you are half asleep. I need you in your best condition.

“Lloyd, you will be patrolling the north end. Landon, you will get south. Gavin, you take east and I will take west. Journey, you will stroll around the whole perimeter, checking up with everyone for anything they need. You will be back up and you will be the first person to notify the pack house, unless you switch with someone. During the night I will order you to get us drinks and food, so will be going back and forth. You are the second fastest runner so I know you can get the job done the fastest. Any questions anyone?”

We all say nothing and Rob continues.

“Okay. All of you change your clothes to something comfortable if you need to. You will not switch forms unless needed. Go now and Journey come with me for a moment,” Rob dismisses, walking to the west end of the territory. Everyone breaks off and I follow Rob. I feel Landon’s stare at the back of my head but I ignore it and I enter the forest with Rob.

We walk in silence for about fifteen minutes until Rob reaches the end of the territory. Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair, something he does when he is overly stressed.

“I’m sorry, Journey. I can’t say no to them,” he says regretfully.

“I know, Rob. I know. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be fine,” I say confidently.

“Journey, these people have done nothing but hurt you and I know this bothers you. Hell, I am beating myself up for this because this is hurting you so much, but this is Alpha code. I can’t say no to a pack unless they prove to be dangerous.”

“I know,” I say reassuringly.

“Journey, when I saw your family and all those people that hurt you, I wanted to kill them. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that and now Landon is your mate. I just want to punch his face into the ground and now I have you patrolling with them. I know you don’t like them, but I need my strongest wolf right now,” Rob rambles on and on like the overprotective brother my own brothers once were.

“Rob, are you done?” I smirk.

“Yes,” he sighs.

“Good, now it’s your turn to listen to me.”

“Fine,” he huffs.

“Yes, they hurt me. They hurt me badly. But I am not going to show them that. I wouldn’t blame you if you did hurt them. But I would’ve scolded you if you said no to them. I wouldn’t want you to bring a personal matter into this. They need help, yes, but they don’t need me and I respect that. I won’t get in their way no matter how much I want to. As for Landon, he can go to hell for what he did to me. I don’t care if he is my mate, but I can never forgive him unless he owns up for his mistake. But for now, I will tolerate him and speak only when I need to,” I say.

“And this is why you’re a Royal. You always think rationally, no matter what,” Rob looks at me proudly, smiling at me.

“Yeah, I guess,” I mumble, blushing and looking at the ground.

“Anyway, you should go ask the others what they need and survey along with them. Once you are done, patrol around the pack house in case any intruder got past us and we did not notice. Every hour, you go to the others and ask if they need help or something. I don’t want them to dehydrate themselves. It would be a pain to carry them on your shoulder, wolf or not,” Rob jokes.

I roll my eyes. “Aye, aye captain,” I confirm, mock saluting him and walking over to the North end where Lloyd is.

Oh boy, I think.

It takes twenty minutes to reach Lloyd’s location and I see him standing on a huge rock where you can see everything on top. I climb to the top and stand a few feet behind him.

“You need anything?” I say bluntly, no hi or hello or how ya doin’, bro. Just straight to the point and no sentiments involved.

He turns to look at me, his eyes blazing with disgust as he looks me over.

“Nothing from you, you piece of shit,” he spits.

“Well, I hate you too,” I say angrily, going to the bottom of the rock and heading over to Gavin.

“I wish you’d have died. It would have made everyone’s life easier,” he yells out to me.

Anger courses through my veins and I need to control myself from changing. I turn to look at him with blazing eyes.

“Well, life isn’t perfect, so deal with it. I dealt with it for years and nothing ever got easy. It just shows you don’t have the balls to cope, you spineless creature. I hoped I would never have to see you again, but here you are. We don’t all get what we want and some things don’t go the way they planned. But you know what people do? They suck it up and go with the flow, an ability you don’t seem to have,” I retort, every word sharp and clear and filled with hatred.

His posture starts to go limp, like he just lost a battle. His face goes from angry to broken in the matter of a few seconds, and in all these years, I see the brother I had when Justin broke his favorite toy car or whenever he got in trouble with mom.

“Just go,” he whispers softly, just loud enough for me to hear.

“Gladly,” I say sharply, turning on my heels abruptly, but not before seeing him wince at my tone. Serves him right.

I walk over to Gavin’s location, which is also about twenty minutes away, giving me just enough time to cool down from Lloyd’s encounter.

I ask Gavin if he needs anything but he says no and tells me how sorry he is about this situation, just like Rob. I told him everything I told Rob and gave him an added hug as reassurance. Man, I do not know what I would do without Rob and Gavin.

I continue my trek down the forest, heading over to Landon. I take long breaths along the way, not really wanting to meet my… mate. But I know this has to be done sooner or later and the sooner the better. My wolf is crying on this decision. She hates having to break away from her mate, but being a Royal Black, she understands why I am doing this and promises to never disconnect from me. I smile at that, knowing I have support from my own wolf who craves her mate. This is one of the advantages of being a Royal. You can always count on your wolf to be there for you. If I was a normal werewolf, she would have shut down completely, only being there for when I would have to change. My wolf has the will to be away from her mate, and I just hope I do too.

I feel like I have arrived too quickly once I spot Landon also standing on a huge rock, overlooking everything. I climb on the side once more and in moments I reach the top.

“Do you need anything?” I ask bluntly, just like I ask Lloyd.

“Journey, you’re my mate,” he points out, turning to look at me. His face holds a smile but his eyes hold pain.

“So I’ve noticed,” I say, looking down on the ground. If I looked up at him anymore, I would just have to pounce on him and take him there.

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I want to make things right again,” he pleads.

“I can’t grant you forgiveness.”

“Why? You’re my mate.”

“That doesn’t mean I will bow to your feet and be enchanted like every other mate does,” I say sharply.

“But Journey, I can change!” he pleads walking close to me and putting a hand on my cheek. Sparks erupt all over my body with that little touch but I quickly push his hand away. I notice more disappointment taking over his face, breaking my heart little by little.

“Don’t touch me,” I say angrily. “I don’t need you to change. The fact of the matter is you pulled the rug from under my feet and told everyone I slipped when you know I didn’t do shit. You’re to blame and if you can’t confess, you will never be a good alpha like your dad was. He was a great man, and I am sorry you lost him today, but you will never be like your father because you only care for yourself. I don’t need you to change because I don’t want you,” I say sharply, my eyes glaring at him.

His face pains even more and no smile is present on his face.

“What are you trying to say,” he trembles, stepping back.

“I, Journey Allen, hereby reject you, Landon Reynolds, as my mate.”