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The Past's Tale
Childhood: Take 1: Setting things up
Your childhood is vital...
Its when nothing is supposed to matter. Your childhood is when you have the most freedom. There aren't supposed to be expectations or responsibilities. All you're supposed to do during your childhood is have fun. You're supposed to dream big dreams, shoot for the highest of goals. You're supposed to have the biggest imagination, constantly thinking what your life will be when you grow up. You're supposed to dream of prince charming, and talk to your imaginary friend like they were real. You're supposed to come up with the dumbest games and do some of the most ridiculous things that will make you bend over in pain from laughing soo hard when you take a stroll down memory lane as an adult.
My childhood had spurts of all that goodness, but those spurts never lasted long. I was born Jazmin K'yana on September 5, 1994 to Heather and Byron. There were complications with my birth and according to my parents, I was a gray hue when I came out and I wasn't breathing. The doctors eventually got me breathing and everything seemed to be fine. I was healthy, it was a surprise my mom made it but she did. Actually all of this was a surprise. See my mom had 3 different doctors say she would never have kids because of her size and she had ridiculously high blood pressure. So when she found out she was pregnant she was shocked and didnt know what to do. She was getting ready to be the wonderful age of 21, she didnt want a baby, who would at that age? But there she was, with a brown eyed baby girl and everyone behind her to support her as much as they could...
I grew up in a small town with absolutely nothing to do. It used to be a big industry town back in the day and I hear it was pretty amazing to live here. But now its just a ghost town dirt hole that seems to hold the inhabitants hostage. Once you live here, its apparently hard to get out. Not for me though, Im getting out despite how hard it is. Anywho, the inhabitants of this Hell hole arent exactly the most pleasant. Most are wash-ups, addicts, or ghetto. This place is so dark and just sucky that it was deemed the saddest place in the nation based off its size. Pretty sucky huh?
Anyways, I didn't come from money so we never lived in the nicest of neighborhoods. But the funny thing is, although I'd kill to have a better house, I feel safe on the "unsafe" side of town because its all I've ever known. Up until I was about 4, everything seemed to be going great. I had my mommy and daddy, and although I was still learning to make friends, I had met my absolute best friend, Kaytie and I had managed to start shaping myself to be a tom-boy. I loved dressing up in the house, but the moment I was told I could go outside, off I went in shorts and a shirt, most times no shoes, to play with the little boys in the neighborhood. I would come back covered in dirt on my big wheel, and mom would wonder why I loved being soo dirty. When Christmas or my birthday would come around, it was rare I'd ask for girl toys because I thought the boys had the coolest toys and I wanted them. Granted I never got them.
Just when I thought everything was the way it was supposed to be, shit began to hit the fan.
Its when nothing is supposed to matter. Your childhood is when you have the most freedom. There aren't supposed to be expectations or responsibilities. All you're supposed to do during your childhood is have fun. You're supposed to dream big dreams, shoot for the highest of goals. You're supposed to have the biggest imagination, constantly thinking what your life will be when you grow up. You're supposed to dream of prince charming, and talk to your imaginary friend like they were real. You're supposed to come up with the dumbest games and do some of the most ridiculous things that will make you bend over in pain from laughing soo hard when you take a stroll down memory lane as an adult.
My childhood had spurts of all that goodness, but those spurts never lasted long. I was born Jazmin K'yana on September 5, 1994 to Heather and Byron. There were complications with my birth and according to my parents, I was a gray hue when I came out and I wasn't breathing. The doctors eventually got me breathing and everything seemed to be fine. I was healthy, it was a surprise my mom made it but she did. Actually all of this was a surprise. See my mom had 3 different doctors say she would never have kids because of her size and she had ridiculously high blood pressure. So when she found out she was pregnant she was shocked and didnt know what to do. She was getting ready to be the wonderful age of 21, she didnt want a baby, who would at that age? But there she was, with a brown eyed baby girl and everyone behind her to support her as much as they could...
I grew up in a small town with absolutely nothing to do. It used to be a big industry town back in the day and I hear it was pretty amazing to live here. But now its just a ghost town dirt hole that seems to hold the inhabitants hostage. Once you live here, its apparently hard to get out. Not for me though, Im getting out despite how hard it is. Anywho, the inhabitants of this Hell hole arent exactly the most pleasant. Most are wash-ups, addicts, or ghetto. This place is so dark and just sucky that it was deemed the saddest place in the nation based off its size. Pretty sucky huh?
Anyways, I didn't come from money so we never lived in the nicest of neighborhoods. But the funny thing is, although I'd kill to have a better house, I feel safe on the "unsafe" side of town because its all I've ever known. Up until I was about 4, everything seemed to be going great. I had my mommy and daddy, and although I was still learning to make friends, I had met my absolute best friend, Kaytie and I had managed to start shaping myself to be a tom-boy. I loved dressing up in the house, but the moment I was told I could go outside, off I went in shorts and a shirt, most times no shoes, to play with the little boys in the neighborhood. I would come back covered in dirt on my big wheel, and mom would wonder why I loved being soo dirty. When Christmas or my birthday would come around, it was rare I'd ask for girl toys because I thought the boys had the coolest toys and I wanted them. Granted I never got them.
Just when I thought everything was the way it was supposed to be, shit began to hit the fan.