For All I Know

I shook him awake and he opened his eyes and looked at me.

“Where have you been? What time is it?” He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. “It’s almost 10! You’ve been out all night and most of the morning. Did someone get lucky last night?” He smirked up at me. I shook my head.

“Get up off the floor. I don’t want to discuss this with you in the hallway.” He stood up and followed me into my apartment as I unlocked the door to my apartment. I walked into my kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. I may have had coffee with Pat, but Jordan clearly needed some as he just woke up.

“So, where did you end up last night? When we left the club we noticed that you were gone, nowhere to be seen.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I…..” I looked at the floor as I whispered. “I was with Pat.”

Jordan almost choked on his gulp of coffee. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I think I heard you say you were with Pat.”

I sighed and sat down beside him. “I did say that. I was with Pat.”

Jordan’s eyes widened as he cleared his throat. “Okay, a little elaboration would be nice.”

I ran my hand through my hair. “Well, as you very well know, we were all drunk, and you saw Pat at the club. I don’t know… do I really need to go into details with you?”

He shook his head. “No, not really. Just tell me one thing.” He swallowed hard. “Did you…?” I nodded. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Oh wow, so what now?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. We’re going out for lunch tomorrow.”

Jordan looked over at me. “Are you okay? With all of this?”

I sighed. “I don’t know. I mean, the lunch is just as friends. We’ll see how it goes.”

He smiled and stood up from the couch. “Well, I hope it goes well. You know that you can text or call if you need me, right?” I nodded and smiled.

“Yes, I know. Thanks, Jordan.”

He stretched his arms over his head. “Well, I would say that I’d be going now, but I have one little favour to ask of you.” I nodded.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Can I borrow your shower? I have to get on a plane shortly and I don’t want to stink this bad.”

I laughed and pointed in the direction of the bathroom. “Sure. Go ahead.”

While Jordan was in the shower, I decided to called Nat. She didn’t answer, but did sent me a text as soon as I hung up.

At work. Come by and we’ll talk on my lunch break?

I quickly shot her a reply asking when her lunch break was. After getting my answer, I heard the shower water turn off. When Jordan walked back out, he asked me for a number to the cab company. My jaw dropped and I stood up from the couch.

“You’re kidding, right?” He raised an eyebrow at me and shook his head. “I’ll drive you. I have to go out on an errand anyways.”

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Pat’s POV

After Claire left, I called Jon on instinct. I wanted to tell him about Claire, but I held back. I wanted to do things differently this time. I wanted to go slow, and gain back Claire’s trust before I manage to put a label on it. Jon invited me to have lunch with him and some of the boys. I agreed and got dressed as quickly as I could. Waiting for Jon to pick me up, I contemplated on calling Claire. Ever since she walked out my door, I had fought off anything and everything in me to call her or follow her. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and was about to dial her number when I heard Jon buzz into my apartment. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. When I reached Jon’s car, I hopped into the passenger’s seat.

“So, how was your night?” He smirked at me.

“It was good, I guess. Same old, same old.”

Jon couldn’t hold back the laughter anymore. “You honestly think I’m that stupid?”

I raised my eyebrow at him. “What are you talking about?”

“Everyone saw you leave with Claire. So, spill dude. You guys back together?”

I sighed. “No, we’re not back together. I…” I sighed. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

Jon dropped the conversation about Claire and we began to drive to the outskirts of the city. Jon said we were going to new place that just opened. Apparently, Sharpy had gone there with his wife and thought the food was amazing. While stopped at a traffic light, Jon nudged my shoulder. I looked over at him.

“Isn’t that Claire?” I looked in the direction his finger was pointing in. I smiled, seeing that it was, in fact, Claire. She was leaving an apartment building. I gave the building a once-over, thinking it must be where she lived. Looking back at Claire, I saw that she was not alone. My smile faltered and I couldn’t help but let out a low growl. Jon chuckled beside me.

“I take it you and Staal are still in this love/hate relationship?” I didn’t respond to him. I didn’t want to read too far into seeing him with Claire. I wanted to remind myself that Claire and I were not together and I shouldn’t be feeling jealous, but I couldn’t help it.

“Let’s just go eat.” I growled to Jon. He let out a low chuckle and we continued on.

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Claire’s POV

While driving Jordan to his hotel, he decided to continue talking about Pat.

“So, you never really told me what happened between you and Pat…”

I shook my head. “I don’t really want to talk about it. We’re trying to be friends again.”

He let out a sigh. “He cheated, didn’t he?”

I didn’t say anything, which obviously gave away my answer. I didn’t want to admit it. Jordan ran a hand through his hair and sighed once more.

“What an idiot! Why the hell would he cheat? He had himself a beautiful girl, the perfect girl, if you ask me, and he throws it all away?” He sighed. “Stupid.”

I huffed. “Can we please stop talking about this? I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Do you still love him?” Again, I didn’t answer. This time, it wasn’t to admit anything, I really didn’t have an answer. I heard Jordan sigh again. I slammed my hands on my steering wheel.

“Is that all you’re going to do? Ask me questions I rather don’t want to answer or don’t have an answer to and sigh? It’s getting really annoying, Jord.”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I just want to know what’s going on with you. I haven’t seen you in months and so much has happened.”

I scoffed. “Not a lot has happened. I’m not with Pat anymore. I live on my own now, and my brother is dead. That’s all that’s changed. Oh, and I don’t work in the United Center anymore. That’s it.”

We were stopped at a red light, and Jordan put his hand on mine, giving it a light squeeze. I looked over at him and he gave me a small smile.

“I’m always here.”

I smiled at him and shook my head. “Thanks, Jordan. I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you a lot lately.”

He removed his hand and I continued to drive. “It’s okay.” He pointed up to the hotel ahead of us. “It’s that one.”

“I know where the Hilton is, Jordan.” I chuckled. “But thank you for changing the subject.”

He smiled and I parked the car. I looked to make sure that no cars were coming my way, and stepped out of the car. I walked around the front of the car and over to Jordan. He smiled at me and opened his arms. I tried to hide back a chuckle, but failed. I walked into his arms and wrapped my arms around his torso.

“Please, call me.” He whispered.

“I will, see you later, Staal.” I backed away and watched him walk into the hotel. When I got back in my car, I sat staring off into space, sighing. I hoped that talking to Nat would not leave me this confused.

Pulling up to the hospital, I texted Nat to ask her where I should meet her. I got out of my car and made my way into the main lobby. I felt my phone go off and after looking at my text message, I made my way to the elevator. I finally found Nat at her desk. She smiled at me and we made our way into the employee cafeteria. We sat down and Nat looked over at me.

“So, spill. Where did you end up last night?”

I sighed. “Pat’s.”

Her eyes widened. “I’m sorry, did you say Pat’s?” I nodded. “Okay, do you mean like Pat, your Pat, or a different Pat?”

I shook my head. “He’s not my Pat, but no it’s not a different Pat.”

She scoffed. “I don’t believe this. All this time, you’ve been angry at him, or upset at him, and yet you leave a club with him? My god, what else are you keeping from me?”

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. “I’m not keeping anything from you. I didn’t plan on it happening. I was drunk. I didn’t realize it was Pat until I woke up at his place.”

She popped open her can of Diet Coke. “Okay, so you left the club with Pat, had sex, woke up and……?”

“I tried to leave, but I ran into a little hazard.”

“Oh no, don’t tell me you two are back together and commemorated it by a sober second go-round?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, we’re not back together and no, we did not have a second ‘go-round,’ I was trying to gather my clothes and find my purse, but Pat woke up and stopped me from sneaking out.”

She slowly nodded her head. “So, you guys finally talked.”

I sighed and nodded my head. “Yepp. I was a little awkward at first, but we got everything out in the open.”

“So you told him you still love him, then?”

I slowly shrugged my shoulders. “Well, not exactly. We are going to lunch tomorrow though, to talk more.”

Nat picked up her sandwich out of her container and as she raised it to her lips, she looked over at me.

“So, is there more? Or has the rest of the last 24 hours been a dud?”

I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone I knew walked in or was anywhere near. Nat put her sandwich back down and huffed.

“Okay, spill. What else happened?”

I ran my hand through my hair and began to play with the ends of my hair.

“When I woke up, I saw a picture on Pat’s bedside table.” She nodded, egging me to go on. “It was a picture of the two of us. I can’t believe he still had it.”

She scoffed. “The guy is gob-smacked over you, what do you expect?”

I rolled my eyes. “Gob-smacked? Really? You really need to stop talking like Roxy. By the way, did you see last week’s episode?”

I was happy that the subject of the conversation changed to Army Wives. I was sick of talking about Pat. First with Jordan, then with Nat. I just wanted nothing more than to go home and just sit by myself. Nat had finished up her lunch and we said our goodbyes. I left the hospital, got in my car and went home.

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Pat’s POV

After lunch with the boys, Jon had driven me home. When I walked into my apartment, I went straight to my bedroom. I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I wanted to call Claire and ask her what the hell she was doing with Jordan, but quickly decided against it. I decided to try and get some sleep instead. I stripped down to my boxers and climbed under my covers. Turning on the 52” flat screen that hung on the wall, I began to watch Sports Centre. Halfway through the hockey highlights of the night before, I heard my phone go off. I figured it was just Jon, calling to talk about the hit on Brandon Prust from Lucic that just aired, so I let it go to voicemail. After I heard the notification that I had a new voicemail, I picked up my phone from my bedside table. My eyes widened when it wasn’t Jon who called, but Claire. I didn’t even take the time to listen to her message, and called her back immediately. After three rings, it went right to voicemail. I opened my mouth to leave a message, but no words left my lips. I leaned back into my pillows and tried to focus on SportsCentre once again.

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Claire’s POV

I don’t know what came over me to think to call Pat. I didn’t want to talk about him to anyone, yet I found myself calling him. I left him a short message, nothing too mushy, just asking him to call me back. For some reason, I just wanted to talk to him. I missed him. It had been less than 12 hours and I missed him. Seconds after I hung up my phone, it began to ring. Looking at the caller ID, I saw that it was Pat calling me back. I hesitated. I wanted to answer it, but I didn’t know what to say. I just stared at my phone. Just as I thought of something to say, the phone stopped ringing. I waited to see if he left a message. Nothing. I tossed my phone to the other end of the couch and curled under the throw blanket, turning on a re-run of Gilmore Girls. As I watched Rory once again battle her feelings for Jess while she was still with Dean, I felt my eyes become heavy and slipped into sleep.

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{u] the next morning

Pat’s POV

After rolling out of bed and hopping in the shower, I went through my missed calls and texts. I looked at the time and noticed it might have been a little too early to call, so I shot Claire a text.

Hey. We still on for lunch?

I began to gather up the things I needed before Jon came to pick me up. I heard my phone being to ring as I filled up my duffle bag. I walked over to the kitchen counter where I left it and picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Hey. I know you texted me, but calling you back just seemed faster. Yes, we’re still on for lunch.”

I smiled as I zipped up my duffle bag and picked it up off the floor. “Well, that’s good to hear. So where did you want to go?”

I heard her sigh. “I’m not sure. Doesn’t really matter to me. I did get call in to work for 2 so I can’t have too long of a lunch.”

“That’s fine. I have to be back home for my…”

“Pre-game nap, I know, Pat. I know it’s been a while, but I still remember some things.”

I walked out of my condo, locked the door and walked to the elevator, thinking that Jon would be showing up any minute. I felt my heart sink a little as she hinted at how long it’s been.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Well, Jon is on his way to come get me for practice. I’ll text you when I’m done, okay?”

Claire agreed and we said our goodbyes before ending the call. I made it to the lobby and saw that I had made it just in time. Jon had just pulled up. I walked out of the building, hopped in his car and we made our way to Johnny’s Ice House. As we pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car, Jon turned to me.

“So, your lunch with Claire? You gonna mention seeing her with Staal yesterday?”

I shook my head, running a hand through my curls. “I wasn’t really planning on it.” I pondered on it for a moment. “Should I?”

Jon shrugged his shoulders. “It’s up to you, man. I mean, if you feel you need to say it, then say it. It’s entirely your choice.”

“Well, would you tell her? I mean, if you were in my shoes?”

Jon thought about for a moment, holding the door open for me as we walked into the building.

“Well, I’ll tell you this. After what you two have been through and how everything went down, I wouldn’t keep anything bottled up. No matter how bad it may be, I’d tell her.”

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Claire’s POV

After hopping out of the shower, I was frantically looking for something to wear in my closet. Not being able to find anything, I called Nat. I knew she wasn’t working, so I knew that she would be able to take my call. After the third ring, she answered. I let out a cry for help and without giving her a chance to ask her what I needed help with, I hung up. A moment later, my phone went off. Looking down, I saw Nat was texting she was on her way. I pulled out some clothes, laid them on my bed and huffed.

“Oh, lord.” I muttered to myself.

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Pat’s POV

After practice, I had Jon drive me home. When we pulled up to my building, Jon turned to me.

“Good luck on your date.”

I sighed. “It’s not a date. It’s just lunch as friends. We’re starting over.”

Jon chuckled. “With you and Claire, it’s never going to be just friends.”

I smiled hoping that I could come out of this lunch with Claire back in my life on a more permanent basis. I hopped out of Jon’s car and went into the building. After I walked into my apartment, I pulled out my phone and called Claire. I wanted to know where she wanted to have lunch. It took her a little while to answer and she sounded out of breath.

“Hey, you okay? You sound out of breath.” I chuckled.

“Yeah, I’m good. So, what’s up?”

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Claire’s POV

I figured Pat was calling to cancel, but thankfully, he was calling to ask where we’d be eating. We decided on Harry Carey’s and I had just over a half hour to get ready. I hung up the phone and looked over at Nat.

“I have a half hour. Help?”

Nat rolled her eyes. “Just pick something. I don’t know why you’re so freaked. You’re going to lunch with a guy that you haven’t said a word to in months. Until you two had drunken sex, of course.”

I dug through the large pile on my bed and finally decided on something. After changing, I walked out into my living room. Nat was sitting on one of my chairs, looking up at me with her eyebrow raised.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I questioned.

She shrugged her shoulders. “I just don’t understand it.”

“Understand what?”

Sighing, she stood up and walked toward me. “You. You’re getting worked up over a guy you hated not three days ago.”

I ran a hand through my hair. “You and I both know, I never really hated him.”

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Pat’s POV

I got to Harry Carey’s and found a booth in the back for two. I let the server know that I would be expecting someone else and they should be arriving any moment. I ordered myself a glass of beer and waited for Claire to show up. I typed out a text, saying that I was wondering how long she’d be. I pondered on sending it. After finishing my beer, I decided against sending it. I order a glass of water and continue waiting.

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Claire’s POV

After finally getting Nat out of my apartment, I looked at the clock on my wall. My eyes widened when I noticed that it was almost 30 minutes after the time that Pat and I had agreed on meeting. I quickly rushed out of my apartment, typing a speedy text to Pat letting him know that I’m on my way.

I finally made it Harry Carey’s. I got out of my car and walked into the door. I was about to tell the lady that I was looking for Pat, when someone bumped into me. Looking up to apologize, I saw it was Pat.

“Pat, I’m so sorry. I was getting ready and Nat was over and she wouldn’t stop talking and…”

“Don’t worry about it,” he cut me off. “Just go back home and call Staal.” He tried to walk past me, but I grabbed his arm.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I questioned, a little annoyed that he was still angry about Jordan. “You know that Jordan and I are just friends.”

He rolled his eyes. “Well, that’s a phrase you like to use a little loosely. And what about us? Are we just friends, too?” He lowered his voice to just above a whisper. “Just friends who have drunken sex after months of not speaking to each other?”

My eyes widened. I had no idea where this was coming from, but I did not want to stand there and take it. “You know what? I didn’t have to agree to this. I came here to give you the chance to explain everything, a chance for us to talk about everything. This was possibly a chance for us to start over, but obviously you’re still going to go on about Jordan, so I don’t see the point in this.”

Before Pat could try and walk past me again, I turned on my heel and left the restaurant. I made I just outside the door when I heard Pat yell out my name. I didn’t want to turn back toward him, so I continued towards my car. I made it to my car, but since I parked on the side of the street, I had to wait until the traffic slowed down for a moment so I could get into my car. As I stood in between my car and the one parked in front of me. I heard footsteps come up behind me.

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Pat’s POV

“Claire, I’m sorry. I know I keep bringing up Staal, but..”

“I don’t want to hear it, Pat. “ She cut me off, turning on her heel to face me. “I came here to give you a chance, and you didn’t even let me sit down before you blew it.”

My eyes widened slightly. “You were a half an hour late. I was thinking you weren’t going to show up.”

She opened and closed her mouth a few times before finally sighing. “I was trying to explain to you why I was late, but you just had to assume that it had something to do with Jordan.”

“Well?” I questioned.

She raised her eyebrow at me. “Well, what?”

“Was it?”

She scoffed. “No, it wasn’t. Pat, I just told you when I walked into the restaurant. I was getting ready and I told Nat to come over and help me find something to wear,” she began to ramble. “She was asking me why I was trying so hard to find something to wear. I didn’t really know. Then she started to question my feelings for you and my feelings behind this lunch. We got into a long discussion and I lost track of time. By the time she left, I realized I was almost a half an hour late.” She finally let out a breath. I couldn’t help but smile. She looked at me a little confusion. “What are you smiling for?”

“So, how do you feel?” I asked, taking a step closer to her.

“About what?” She answered with a question, her eyes widening as I stepped even closer.

“About me. About this lunch.” She shook her head and tried to turn away from me, but I reached out and grabbed her arm, turning her back towards me. “Look, I’m sorry I brought up Jordan again.” I sighed. “It’s just, well you know how I feel about him, and the whole Pittsburgh situation.”

She rolled her eyes and stepped away from me. “There wasn’t a situation, please stop assuming that there was.”

I raised my hands in defeat. “Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t. Now, can we please go back inside? I don’t want to end our conversation like this.”

She stood and pondered for a moment, finally shrugging her shoulders. “I probably should eat something before my shift. I’m paying for myself, by the way.”

I smiled and lead her back towards the restaurant. “So, how do you feel?”

She rolled her eyes and couldn’t help but smirk. “Don’t push it, Kane.”