Love Is Hell

Lina.

“You like pears?” I asked Garrett as he picked up a can off the shelf. For reasons unknown to me, he drove me to the grocery store close to the school and was now enduring shopping with me.

“Yeah. You don’t?”

“Nope. How’d you know?” I asked as I picked up a can of mandarin oranges for Danny and put them into the cart.

“You scrunched your nose when you asked me. You scrunch your nose when you don’t like stuff,” he said.

How did he even know that?

“Oh. Well, you’re correct, Nickelsen,” I said, pushing my half-full shopping cart further down the isle.

“So what’s for dinner tonight, Miss Carolina?” he asked, giving me a lopsided smile.

I couldn’t help but smile back. “Probably just Hamburger Helper. Nothing too exciting.”

“That’s funny, because when we had Hamburger Helper at my house, Trey and I would always fight over which kind we had my mom make.”

“You still do that?” I smirked again.

“No! We did that when we were kids. Now we’re civilized adults.”

I laughed, and he joined in. The sound of our laughter itself was exciting; being with Garrett was different and new and easy. It was easy to forget that he saw me on The Day, the day Joey was born and my dad left.

“Ooh, candy! Come on, Lina, let’s get some candy!” Garrett said, acting like a little kid.

“Garrett, no! I barely have enough to buy all the stuff I need. I can’t get candy!”

“That’s fine, you don’t need to buy it. I’ll buy it! I’ll even buy you some, Lina!”

I giggled and gave in because he was so cute when he begged. “Fine,” I said, pushing the cart into the candy isle.

“What’s your favorite?” he asked as we surveyed the rows of chocolates, taffies, and other candies.

I pursed my lips. “Hmm... that’s a hard one. I really like Butterfingers, but I love Gummy Bears, too.”

“There’s no Butterfingers, so I’m getting you Gummy Bears,” he said, crouching down and pulling a bag from a bottom rack.

I looked down at Garrett’s head, a piece of white paper standing out against his copper hair. Instinctively, I reached over and picked it out of his hair.

“What?” he asked, standing up with the bag in his hands.

I blushed, which confused me. “You had paper in your hair. I got it out, though.”

“Oh. Well, thanks, Lina,” he said.

“Yep. I mean, you are buying me Gummy Bears and all. Plus you brought me here in the first place. I kinda owe you,” I said softly, placing my hands on the cart. “So consider me hair monitor.”

He gave me another lopsided grin, making me smile too. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

“Guess so,” I answered, ready to leave and go to the next isle. “Are you almost done? I still need a few more things.”

He nodded, quickly grabbing a bag of Sour Patch Kids. “Ready.”

I pushed on the cart, reaching the isle that housed the cereal.

“So, uh, who’s watching your little brother? If your mom had to work, and everything,” he asked.

“The neighbors. My mom’s been friends with them for years, so they watch Danny on occasion. They have a little dog that Danny’s crazy for,” I said, biting my lip. I was debating on Cheerios or Fruit Loops. Actually, I was trying to remember what Joey liked best. Sighing, I grabbed the box of Cheerios and set them in the cart.

“That’s nice of them.”

I nodded. “What about your brother? Trey, right?”

He nodded, too. “Yeah, he’s a couple of years older than me. He’s kinda just bullshitting around, right now. He does some music stuff with a friend of ours.”

“So music’s kinda in the family, huh?”

He smiled a little. “I guess.” His smile grew a little bigger as he said, “Actually, you remind me a lot of Trey. You both have really similar personalities.”

“Really? Is he a sarcastic bitch, too?”

Garrett raised his eyebrows at me.

“What?” I said, walking down the isle.

“That’s not true.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re sarcastic, yes, but you aren’t a bitch, Lina. You’re just hard-headed.”

I shrugged. I really didn’t want to have this conversation. Not with him.

I sighed. “Tell me about your band,” I said, trying to change the subject.

“We’re doing good. We’re getting more CD’s made...which reminds me, did you ever listen to the one I gave you?”

I grinned, thankful for the new topic. “Yes! It was great. Really.”

“What was your favorite?”

I bit my lip, trying to remember the name of it. “I liked Girls Do What They Want, and the one where John sings about 8123. What is that, by the way?”

Garrett smiled shyly. It was cute. “It’s this parking lot that we all hang out at. You probably mean We All Roll Along.”

I nodded. “That makes sense. But, I think my favorite song was the acoustic one.”

“Whoever She Is?”

I nodded quickly. “That’s it.”

“Funny. I almost didn’t think you’d like that one.”

“Why? Because it’s acoustic?” I asked, entering a new isle. The bright, artificial lights hung above us, making our skin different shades than the usual. People were coming and going all around us.

“Yeah. I mean, I just thought you’d like Everything I Ask For more.”

“Ah. I liked that one, but I just really loved the message of Whoever She Is.”

He laughed. “A lot of the songs on the record have sexual hints, don’t they?”

“Yeah, little bit,” I said, smiling. “But not Whoever She Is.”

I turned to grab a bag of pretzels on a shelf, but, me being my clumsy self, I tripped on a metal wheel of the shopping cart and would have fallen face first onto the tile if Garrett hadn’t caught me.

“Thanks,” I said, blushing and standing up straight as Garrett quickly took his arms off of mine.

“Hey, that’s what friends are for, Lina,” he said softly, offering a crooked smile as he repeated his own words from earlier.

***

We were standing in my kitchen, plastic bags full of food surrounding us.

“Thanks for everything, Garrett,” I said quietly. “I hope you didn’t have other plans that you ditched out on just for me.”

He shrugged. “It’s no problem. But you’re welcome, Lina,” he said, smiling a little. “And no, I didn’t have anything else going on.”

I nodded. Without thinking, I blurted out, “Um, do you want to stay for dinner?”

His smile grew a little. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Unless you need to be home.”

“Nah, my parents won’t mind.”

I smiled. “Okay, great. Can you wait here while I go get Danny from the neighbors? I’ll only be a minute.”

He nodded as I walked out the front door, leaving Garrett Nickelsen in my kitchen. What the hell had I just done?

I knocked quickly on the front door of our neighbors, the Brintons.

Mrs. Brinton answered the door. “Hi, dear. Come on in. Daniel’s asleep on the couch.”

I stepped through the doorway and into the living room, where I saw my brother sleeping.

“Was he any trouble?” I asked quietly as I picked Danny up and hugged him to me.

“Oh, no. He was an angel, like always,” the older lady said.

“Thank you so much for watching him,” I said, smiling at her before walking out.

When I went inside the house, I silently smiled at Garrett and walked upstairs to Danny’s room, laying him on his spiderman themed bed.

“Okay. Ready to start dinner?” I asked Garrett when I reached the bottom of the steps.

He looked up at me as he fiddled with his nose ring. “Sure. I’m not very good at cooking, though.”

***

We were half-way done with the Hamburger Helper, and it was clear that Garrett was truthfully not very good at cooking. He’d already gotten the cheese sauce burnt to the pan, spilt water on his socks, and now he was in the process of likely burning the noodles.

“Garrett,” I said, laughing, “Go sit down! You’re killing my noodles!” I pointed to the barstools situated behind our island table.

He laughed, too. “I’m sorry.” He did as he was told and sat down.

I poured more water into the boiling noodles in attempt to save them, and then turned to face him, leaning on my elbows on the table.

“It’s okay. I mean, you did give me a fair warning,” I said.

He sighed. “My socks are still wet.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Yours?”

“Nice try,” I said, as he gave me a crooked smile in return.

“You’re the one who let me cook,” he muttered.

I rolled my eyes and was thinking of a witty comment to shoot back at him, when I heard the front door open and slam shut.

“Lina?” my twin brother’s voice yelled.

“In the kitchen, Joey.”

“Who’s car’s in the driveway?” I heard his footsteps getting louder, meaning he was coming towards us. I’d been a little anxious to see how Joey would react to a boy in his house.

Suddenly, Joey came into view in the kitchen doorway. “Oh,” he said. “Uh, hi?”

“Joey, this is Garrett. He gave me a ride home and took me to the grocery store, so I asked him to stay for dinner,” I said.

“Ride home? Why’d you need a ride home?”

“Well, my car is at the mechanic, you know. And Courtney got sick at school, so she went home early, and Mom had to work early today. So I didn’t have a way to get home.”

Joey still looked defensive. What was his problem?

“So Garrett just took you to the store?”

Garrett, who still looked uncomfortable, finally spoke up and said, “I offered. It was no problem, really.”

We were all silent for a few moments. Finally, Joey said, “Well, alright then. What’s for dinner, little sis?” And then he grinned at Garrett and me.

***

Garrett Nickelsen sitting at my dining room table should have bothered me more than it did. Actually, it didn’t really bother me at all. But fact that him sitting in my house didn’t bother me, bothered me.

I was sitting next to Joey. Garrett was sitting next to a sleepy Danny, across from us.

“So, you’re in The Maine?” Joey asked. It felt like the only thing we had to talk about was the poor kid’s band.

“Yeah. You’ve seen us play before, right?”

Joey nodded. “Yeah. You guys are pretty good. Are you playing another show sometime soon? I have a friend who I think would love to come to one.”

“We’re hoping to get something scheduled in a couple of weeks, but so far we haven’t been able to get anything.”

“Ah, that’s too bad. When you get a show booked, you’ll have to let me know,” Joey said.

I looked over at Danny, who was staring at his food. I lifted my leg up under the table to kick his leg. He looked up quickly, and I pretended to be engrossed in my own food. When I looked back up at him, he was staring at me. I made a funny face at him, making him giggle loudly.

The two boys turned their attention to Danny, who was still laughing. Then they looked at me, and I grinned.

***

“Thanks for dinner, Lina. It was great,” Garrett said as we stood on my front porch in the darkness. The moon and streetlights were the only illumination.

“Well, I did have to work pretty hard to save it after you tried helping,” I said softly, offering a tiny smile. “But thank you, for going shopping with me and driving me home.”

“Hey, no problem. I had fun.”

“Me too,” I said.

“So, uh, do you need a ride to school tomorrow? Since Courtney’s probably still going to be sick, and all.”

I shook my head a little. “I’ll just ride with my brother. Would you, uh, mind dropping me off after school, though?”

“Sure, I can do that. So...see you tomorrow?”

I nodded. “Tomorrow, Nickelsen.”

He smiled. "Bye, Carolina."