Status: indefinite hiatus.
Love Is Hell
rebel rebel.
Lina.
“Courtney, come on! My outfit is fine! It’s just a t-shirt. We’re going to be late if you keep fussing over me,” I said, looking at my best friend, who’s biggest dream was to be a fashion designer. She loved clothes -which included attempting to pick out my outfits every morning before school. She’d started coming half an hour earlier than she needed to every morning just to make me change my clothes. She lived a block away, and she walked to my house so I could take her to school.
“Yeah, a t-shirt, Lina! A t-shirt! You have so many cute blouses!” she cried, running to my closet and shuffling through it. She glanced down at the watch on her wrist and sighed. “Fine, let’s just go.”
I rolled my eyes and grabbed my car keys off my dresser. I put up the biggest fight every morning when she tried getting me to change. It wasn’t that I was attached to whatever ensemble I had on, it was the rebellious streak in me that refused to listen to anyone. Sometimes, though, I would change to shut her up and make her happy. Courtney was the only one who I was really comfortable around. Well, the only one outside of my family -which included my three-year-old brother, Daniel, my mom, and my twin brother, Joey. I trusted Joey, and Courtney. I loved Danny to death but I was more of a parent to both of my brothers than my mom ever has been. Ever since my dad left when I was fourteen, my mom has never been the same.
I sighed as we walked into the school building, seeing only people I couldn’t stand. Courtney wasn’t my only friend -I had a few other kids I hung around, but our circle of friends was tight. Mostly due to the fact that I tended to be a complete bitch sometimes. Of course, my claws only came out if you really pushed my buttons.
I glanced over at my best friend as she turned the dial of the locker we shared. I sighed again.
“What? Sad about the fact that we only have four months left of school until we graduate and go off to college?” she said, smiling because she knew that is totally not what I was thinking about.
I glared over at her. College was something that I couldn’t even do. I had to take care of Danny because my mom couldn’t. “Stop reminding me about how you get to have a life and I don’t.”
She gave an apologetic smile. “Sorry. It’s just, it’s not fair that you have so much responsibilities, Lina. We’re just kids. I wish you were coming with me, too.” Courtney was leaving for Boston in the fall. Boston, hundreds of miles away from Phoenix, hundreds of miles away from me.
“I wish I was coming too. But my mom isn’t capable of taking care of Daniel by herself, and you know that. I have to stay.”
This time she was the one who sighed. “Yeah.” She flipped her straight, shoulder-length brown hair out of her eyes, and I was jealous for a moment of how pretty she was. Courtney was smart, one of the smartest in our class, tall, and quiet. She was skinny and taller than my five-foot-five-inches, but I had curves where she didn’t. We balanced each other out nicely. She was practical and sensible, and I was impulsive and uncontrollable.
***
Today, the first day back from winter break, had gone by dreadfully slowly. I was walking towards my last class of the day when the kid walking in front of me in the crowded hallway stopped, causing me to run into him.
“Hey! Move it, dude! You might not be in a hurry, but I am, okay?” I snapped, the acid evident in my voice.
The kid turned around and grinned at me. “Well, you’re as sweet as ever, Lina Hawkins.”
I would have smirked back at the boy for calling me out, if he hadn’t used my last name. “Screw off, Pat. I’m not in the mood.” I turned to walk past him, but he kept pace with me.
“Hey, Lina! Come back!” Pat Kirch called. Pat was short and cute in a puppy-cute kind of way. He was one of the very few boys at this school that I could actually tolerate, but only sometimes. “Sorry. I was hoping to find you, actually. See, my band’s playing a show tonight, and I was wondering if you’d want to come? You can bring your friend, Courtney. We’re trying to get our music out there and everything, you know?” He said quickly, stuttering a few times.
“That’s nice of you, Pat, but I don’t think I’d be able to come. And I don’t think Courtney would even want to go.” Sorry, but I didn’t want to spend my evening in a trashy bar listening to some kid rap ignorant lyrics. Plus, if Pat was there, then he would be there. Garrett.
“Please, Lina?” he asked, putting a lot of emphasis on “please”. “I thought I was your friend! It would mean a lot,” Pat whined.
I sighed. “I’ll ask Courtney, okay? But I don’t know if I can get away from babysitting.”
Pat nodded. “I’ll see you later!” he yelled as he ran down the hallway and into a classroom. I rolled my eyes. Courtney would never want to go, and I would never go without her.
I entered my seventh period and sat down in the back, surveying the room. My eyes landed on a boy with brown, messy hair. Pat’s best friend, Garrett Nickelsen. He was cute, actually cute, which made me nervous, but he was quiet. I looked around the room again as the bell rang, and I froze. I was the only girl.
***
“Oh, Lina! That sounds so fun! We should totally go!” Courtney grinned as I told her about Pat’s invitation to see his band.
My jaw dropped. “You want to go? To The Maine’s show?”
She nodded enthusiastically. “We’ll finish our homework early, then I can help you pick out an outfit.”
I rolled my eyes. So it was going to be one of those nights, huh?
***
I used a wicked, sweet smile on the bouncer standing in front of the bar. “We’re here to see some friends. They’re playing a show tonight,” I said, attempting him to allow us entrance. We weren’t eighteen yet, so he wouldn’t let us in.
He gave me a smile back, and for a moment I thought my “charm” had worked, until he said, “Nice try, sweetheart.”
I sighed in unison with Courtney. “I’ll just call Pat, and have him come get us,” she said.
“You have Pat’s number? Since when have you guys gotten so cozy?”
She rolled her eyes. “We’re friends, Lina. Not all of us can get away with being a shit head, like you.” She held her phone up to her ear and spoke.
I regretted even telling her about Pat’s invitation. I was even more surprised that my mother allowed me to go out, especially on a school night. On instinct, I wondered how Danny was.
I looked down at the outfit Courtney had forced me into. I actually liked this one. It fit my personality. A low-cut white blouse with black polka dots, dark, ripped-up jeans, and my usual combat boots along with my leather jacket. I felt comfortable in this, like I could take on the world.
“Hey, Lina! Hello! We’re leaving!” Courtney said, pulling on my elbow as a tall, burly guy with dark hair led us inside the bar and to the backstage area.
“Lina, this is Tim Kirch, Pat’s brother. Tim, this is my best friend Lina,” Courtney said, introducing me to the dark haired guy.
“Nice to meet you, Lina,” Tim winked. I laughed a little and rolled my eyes.
“Courtney! Lina! You guys came!” Pat grinned and ran towards us, enveloping Courtney in a hug. Since when did they know each other so well?
“Get a damn room,” I muttered. A voice next to me laughed. I looked up and saw the face the laugh belonged to: John O’Callaghan.
“Look what the cat dragged in, guys. Lina Hawkins,” John said, smiling.
I nodded curtly at him. “John.” He’d been popular in school, but hadn’t exactly fit in. I hadn’t talked to him a lot, mainly because of the fact that he was a year older, but he’d seemed like a tool.
“Hey, Lina!” a voice I actually recognized called. It was Kennedy Brock, a guy I had actually been friends with. He was friendly and sincere.
“Hey, Kenny. Nice mustache,” I said grinning at his facial hair.
He grinned back sheepishly. “It’s great to see you again, Lina.”
“Lina?” Yet another voice, but this one was so much more familiar. I froze, then looked over.
I saw the red-haired boy as he walked up to me for a hug. “Jared! You’re in Pat’s band, too?” I couldn’t help but grin. Jared Monaco, my cousin I hadn’t seen in months.
He laughed and asked, “What are you doing here?”
I shrugged and pointed to Pat. “He guilted me into coming, and then Courtney dragged me here.”
Jared laughed again, then hugged Courtney. “Nice to see you again, Courtney.”
She blushed. She’d always had a crush on Jared.
“I hate to break up this little family reunion,” Tim said, interrupting us, “but these guys have got to get on stage. You all can catch up later, okay?” Tim ushered the guys towards the stage, and for the first time, I noticed Garrett Nickelsen with the rest of them.
“Courtney, come on! My outfit is fine! It’s just a t-shirt. We’re going to be late if you keep fussing over me,” I said, looking at my best friend, who’s biggest dream was to be a fashion designer. She loved clothes -which included attempting to pick out my outfits every morning before school. She’d started coming half an hour earlier than she needed to every morning just to make me change my clothes. She lived a block away, and she walked to my house so I could take her to school.
“Yeah, a t-shirt, Lina! A t-shirt! You have so many cute blouses!” she cried, running to my closet and shuffling through it. She glanced down at the watch on her wrist and sighed. “Fine, let’s just go.”
I rolled my eyes and grabbed my car keys off my dresser. I put up the biggest fight every morning when she tried getting me to change. It wasn’t that I was attached to whatever ensemble I had on, it was the rebellious streak in me that refused to listen to anyone. Sometimes, though, I would change to shut her up and make her happy. Courtney was the only one who I was really comfortable around. Well, the only one outside of my family -which included my three-year-old brother, Daniel, my mom, and my twin brother, Joey. I trusted Joey, and Courtney. I loved Danny to death but I was more of a parent to both of my brothers than my mom ever has been. Ever since my dad left when I was fourteen, my mom has never been the same.
I sighed as we walked into the school building, seeing only people I couldn’t stand. Courtney wasn’t my only friend -I had a few other kids I hung around, but our circle of friends was tight. Mostly due to the fact that I tended to be a complete bitch sometimes. Of course, my claws only came out if you really pushed my buttons.
I glanced over at my best friend as she turned the dial of the locker we shared. I sighed again.
“What? Sad about the fact that we only have four months left of school until we graduate and go off to college?” she said, smiling because she knew that is totally not what I was thinking about.
I glared over at her. College was something that I couldn’t even do. I had to take care of Danny because my mom couldn’t. “Stop reminding me about how you get to have a life and I don’t.”
She gave an apologetic smile. “Sorry. It’s just, it’s not fair that you have so much responsibilities, Lina. We’re just kids. I wish you were coming with me, too.” Courtney was leaving for Boston in the fall. Boston, hundreds of miles away from Phoenix, hundreds of miles away from me.
“I wish I was coming too. But my mom isn’t capable of taking care of Daniel by herself, and you know that. I have to stay.”
This time she was the one who sighed. “Yeah.” She flipped her straight, shoulder-length brown hair out of her eyes, and I was jealous for a moment of how pretty she was. Courtney was smart, one of the smartest in our class, tall, and quiet. She was skinny and taller than my five-foot-five-inches, but I had curves where she didn’t. We balanced each other out nicely. She was practical and sensible, and I was impulsive and uncontrollable.
***
Today, the first day back from winter break, had gone by dreadfully slowly. I was walking towards my last class of the day when the kid walking in front of me in the crowded hallway stopped, causing me to run into him.
“Hey! Move it, dude! You might not be in a hurry, but I am, okay?” I snapped, the acid evident in my voice.
The kid turned around and grinned at me. “Well, you’re as sweet as ever, Lina Hawkins.”
I would have smirked back at the boy for calling me out, if he hadn’t used my last name. “Screw off, Pat. I’m not in the mood.” I turned to walk past him, but he kept pace with me.
“Hey, Lina! Come back!” Pat Kirch called. Pat was short and cute in a puppy-cute kind of way. He was one of the very few boys at this school that I could actually tolerate, but only sometimes. “Sorry. I was hoping to find you, actually. See, my band’s playing a show tonight, and I was wondering if you’d want to come? You can bring your friend, Courtney. We’re trying to get our music out there and everything, you know?” He said quickly, stuttering a few times.
“That’s nice of you, Pat, but I don’t think I’d be able to come. And I don’t think Courtney would even want to go.” Sorry, but I didn’t want to spend my evening in a trashy bar listening to some kid rap ignorant lyrics. Plus, if Pat was there, then he would be there. Garrett.
“Please, Lina?” he asked, putting a lot of emphasis on “please”. “I thought I was your friend! It would mean a lot,” Pat whined.
I sighed. “I’ll ask Courtney, okay? But I don’t know if I can get away from babysitting.”
Pat nodded. “I’ll see you later!” he yelled as he ran down the hallway and into a classroom. I rolled my eyes. Courtney would never want to go, and I would never go without her.
I entered my seventh period and sat down in the back, surveying the room. My eyes landed on a boy with brown, messy hair. Pat’s best friend, Garrett Nickelsen. He was cute, actually cute, which made me nervous, but he was quiet. I looked around the room again as the bell rang, and I froze. I was the only girl.
***
“Oh, Lina! That sounds so fun! We should totally go!” Courtney grinned as I told her about Pat’s invitation to see his band.
My jaw dropped. “You want to go? To The Maine’s show?”
She nodded enthusiastically. “We’ll finish our homework early, then I can help you pick out an outfit.”
I rolled my eyes. So it was going to be one of those nights, huh?
***
I used a wicked, sweet smile on the bouncer standing in front of the bar. “We’re here to see some friends. They’re playing a show tonight,” I said, attempting him to allow us entrance. We weren’t eighteen yet, so he wouldn’t let us in.
He gave me a smile back, and for a moment I thought my “charm” had worked, until he said, “Nice try, sweetheart.”
I sighed in unison with Courtney. “I’ll just call Pat, and have him come get us,” she said.
“You have Pat’s number? Since when have you guys gotten so cozy?”
She rolled her eyes. “We’re friends, Lina. Not all of us can get away with being a shit head, like you.” She held her phone up to her ear and spoke.
I regretted even telling her about Pat’s invitation. I was even more surprised that my mother allowed me to go out, especially on a school night. On instinct, I wondered how Danny was.
I looked down at the outfit Courtney had forced me into. I actually liked this one. It fit my personality. A low-cut white blouse with black polka dots, dark, ripped-up jeans, and my usual combat boots along with my leather jacket. I felt comfortable in this, like I could take on the world.
“Hey, Lina! Hello! We’re leaving!” Courtney said, pulling on my elbow as a tall, burly guy with dark hair led us inside the bar and to the backstage area.
“Lina, this is Tim Kirch, Pat’s brother. Tim, this is my best friend Lina,” Courtney said, introducing me to the dark haired guy.
“Nice to meet you, Lina,” Tim winked. I laughed a little and rolled my eyes.
“Courtney! Lina! You guys came!” Pat grinned and ran towards us, enveloping Courtney in a hug. Since when did they know each other so well?
“Get a damn room,” I muttered. A voice next to me laughed. I looked up and saw the face the laugh belonged to: John O’Callaghan.
“Look what the cat dragged in, guys. Lina Hawkins,” John said, smiling.
I nodded curtly at him. “John.” He’d been popular in school, but hadn’t exactly fit in. I hadn’t talked to him a lot, mainly because of the fact that he was a year older, but he’d seemed like a tool.
“Hey, Lina!” a voice I actually recognized called. It was Kennedy Brock, a guy I had actually been friends with. He was friendly and sincere.
“Hey, Kenny. Nice mustache,” I said grinning at his facial hair.
He grinned back sheepishly. “It’s great to see you again, Lina.”
“Lina?” Yet another voice, but this one was so much more familiar. I froze, then looked over.
I saw the red-haired boy as he walked up to me for a hug. “Jared! You’re in Pat’s band, too?” I couldn’t help but grin. Jared Monaco, my cousin I hadn’t seen in months.
He laughed and asked, “What are you doing here?”
I shrugged and pointed to Pat. “He guilted me into coming, and then Courtney dragged me here.”
Jared laughed again, then hugged Courtney. “Nice to see you again, Courtney.”
She blushed. She’d always had a crush on Jared.
“I hate to break up this little family reunion,” Tim said, interrupting us, “but these guys have got to get on stage. You all can catch up later, okay?” Tim ushered the guys towards the stage, and for the first time, I noticed Garrett Nickelsen with the rest of them.