Stella

You Always Want the One That You Can’t Have

"I want her." I said quietly to my friend and bandmate, Jake Pitts. He looked at me as if I had gone mad, but of course it wasn't because I demanded the attention of a blonde across the bar. That was a daily need of mine. I always was attracted to women, but really, everyone knew that. They also knew that I had strict guidelines when it came to my women. They needed to be blonde, hot, and willing to fuck without emotions.

I knew that the reason he was pondering my statement was that I said it. Normally, I just did it without saying a word to them, but, for some reason, this girl seemed to be different. I stood, moving to sit beside her. I gave her a flash of my Purdy smile, but she seemed indifferent. It honestly confused me because, on a normal day, my smile melted the heart of any women I wanted.

"Why are you smiling at me?" She asked, slightly irritated by my stare.
"Because you're gorgeous. Who wouldn't smile at you?" She rolled her eyes.
"No." She stated simply. My expression quickly shifted to confused. No girl had ever said no to me; especially not before I've said more than a sentence.
"What?"
"I said 'no'. Was that not clear?"
"It was-- I just-- Why?" I asked. She confused me. At the same time, her ability to confuse me attributed to my attraction to her. She looked at me as if I were an idiot, then slapped a bill on the bar, leaving.

I followed her out the door. The bitter air hit my face as she walked down the road, warm in her white coat. Soon, I caught up to her. "Why did you just leave?"
"Because I need to get home."
"Do you have someone there?"
"No."
"Can I be someone there?"
"No." She repeated. Her repitition made it clear that I wasn't getting any that night. It's just that she intrigued me too much. She made me feel like no other girl has in my life and, I didn't know what to think about that. She made me feel different. I felt rejected, but I didn't know whether I liked that or not. It was amazing, yet, not.

"Why are you following me?" She turned quickly towards me.
"Because you're interesting. I've never been rejected before I asked."
"I don't date emo kids," She explained harshly. "And I don't fuck them either."
"That's rude. How would you know whether I'm 'emo' or not?" I questioned.
"Black hair and eyeliner." She stated this as if it were obvious that that made me emo.
"This is my natural hair, I'm Cherokee. And I happen to like eyeliner. I'm more outlaw than emo." I said quickly. I told the truth as it was. I didn't want her to get a false image of me. She paused a moment.

"Why do you want me?" I paused, pondering a retort. I'd never been asked that before. In fact, most girls just fucked me without question so I'd never been so open with a woman before.
"I want you because you're beautiful." I answered honestly. I knew that women didn't like being lied to. They didn't want people to trick them.
"You don't even know me." She replied softly.
"I want to." I admitted.

She made me think and I liked that in a woman. I never really thought about settling down, but she made me think about that, too. She made me think about everything I'd never thought about. She knew where to hit me and no other girl had done that so easily before. She was special like that.

"I have one question." I asked, looking into her green eyes
"Yes?" She looked up at me, honestly thinking about answering whatever question I would give her.
"What's your name?"
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title~ love isn't always fair ; black veil brides

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Jessica