Stella

Stella Moreau is the most beautiful person in the world. She is kind and caring and gives a shit about me. She gave me her number and we've gotten to know one another over the past few months. She is fantastic. My cell phone rang quietly in my pocket and I answered quickly, "Hello?"
"Hey, doll." Stella's beautiful voice rang through the speaker.
"Hi." I grinned slightly.
"Will you go out with me? And I mean honestly. No sex until I say so." I frowned slightly. She knew I needed sex. I had been having sex throughout that whole time, which she also knew.
"Uh.." I wasn't sure. I'd love to go out with her, but I wasn't sure about it.
"You need to think. Go ahead. I'll let you go to think about it. Call me when you have the answer." She said carefully. I knew she'd understand that I didn't know without even telling her. She knew a lot before I told her. Stella was smart that way.
"Thank you for understanding. I do need time. Thanks." I admitted.
"No problem. G'night, Ash." She whispered.
"'Night, Stell." I replied before hanging up.

How was I supposed to do this when I didn't know how I was going to manage no sex at all any night with anyone until Stell was ready. I didn't know when she'd be ready and, knowing Stella, she could be ready any time from a couple of weeks to a couple of years. She's beautiful and perfect, but easy is something she's not. She'd wait wholeheartedly to see if I was even worth her time and, if I fucked it up , she'd hate me forever for breaking her heart. She needs me to be there for her, but I needed her to know me better. She needed to know how I was going to handle it without any sexual pleasure for weeks, months, or even years.

Not only that, but I tour all of the time. She could miss me too much and cheat on me. Okay, to be honest, I highly doubt she would do that, but she might. What if she dumped me because I was gone too much and didn't pay enough attention to her?

But she probably thought about my touring before asking so maybe she's prepared for it.

Oh, hell. She's not prepared! Stell has no idea what it's like to be a musician's girlfriend. She has no idea how much she'll miss me.

But maybe she does. I mean, maybe she's liked me for awhile and misses me already.

I doubt that, too.

Why does it have to be so hard?

She's beautiful. She understands me. She wants to be with me and doesn't want that to end; at least not now. She is perfect in all aspects. Stella can actually stand me, unlike other women. She's amazing.
I've made my decision.

"Stella?"
"Yeah, Ash?" Her voice was soft and anxious, hoping for the best.
"No."