To Be Broken

Running his hands through his hair, Alex stepped into the club filled with people and let out a long breath of air. He wore a smug look on his face, but his insides felt like complete mush.

He looked around the room, trying to find a face he recognized. Before he could look any further, he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders.

"Hey mother fucker!"

Alex laughed and turned to his best friend, who had a glass in his hand and whose eyes had already gone to the hazy side. "What's up, Jack?"

Jack was drunk, but you could see the uneasiness in Alex's eyes from a mile away. He took the sparkly hat off of his one head and put it on his friends, trying to cheer him up. But his expression stood unchanged.

"Why the long face, partner?"

Alex let Jack lead him over to the table of their friends as he shrugged. "I'm not sad."

"You look like you were just butt raped." Jack laughed. "Is this about Lisa? Because if it's about Lisa, then fuck-"

"No," Alex stopped him, "it's not about her. I'm just a little tired."

Jack didn't buy shit of what just came out of Alex's mouth, but it nodded his head anyway as they reached their friends.

"Well good, because it's a fucking new year baby! And we are gonna paaarrtttaaay!"

A series of "wooo" and "heeelll yeah"'s rose up from the table, making Alex laugh. If there was anything his friends were good for, it was having a good fucking time. And that's all he needed, he told himself. He needed to get back into the single routine, he needed to enjoy the time he had. They were leaving for tour in a month, and lord knows what that would bring, but it would be a nice distraction. All he had to do was survive this week.

"You need a drink, bro!" Danny laughed, trying to toss Alex his.

He laughed, shaking his head. "Nah, I'll go get my own. Anybody want anything?"

"I want some pusssaaay!"

"I can't get you that, asshole." Alex laughed at Jack, starting to feel more at home, "I'll be back fuckers."

He turned away from the group of people and walked towards the packed bar area of the club. To the right of him was a giant screen counting down the final minutes of 2011. Fuck. It had been one hell of year, Alex thought, running his hands through his greasy hair once more and fixing his shirt. All he needed was for this year to be new. If 2012 really was the end of it all, Alex wanted to go out with a bang.

2011 had fucked him over, big time. Dirty Work hadn't been met with the reception Alex expected, and his relationship turned into a joke. He felt like a joke. But still, Alex felt like he hadn't done anything wrong. He was looking for an easy way out, for someone to blame.

As Alex sat done at the bar, he ordered his drink, and looked around him. There were people everywhere, already pairing up for the infamous New Years kiss. He'd completely forgotten about that.

Across the room, one thing caught his eye. It was a girl, in a short blue dress and long, reddish-brown hair. She was that kind of flawless beautiful, the kind you didn't have to try too hard for. But her face was serious as she stared at the boy in front of her, his arms reaching out to her as she turned away.

Alex could only imagine what he'd done, or what an idiot he must be to mess up something with a girl like that. But that forced his mind to float back to Lisa. He'd fucked that up, time and time again. This asshole was no different than him, Alex realized.

He ordered another drink as the clock hit five minutes to midnight. Everyone around him had someone. Loneliness began to set in, in ways it hadn't ever before.

But he didn't miss Lisa. He just missed having someone.

For a moment, he reached into his pocket and gripped his phone in his hands. He thought maybe he should text her, see if she was busy or if she was as lonely as he was. Maybe she would take him back.

Actually, Alex knew she would.

Two minutes to midnight. Alex gulped and began typing the message. He didn't want to give in, but what choice did he have? No one else was there.

Hey babe. Alex typed. Fuck it, no, that's too cocky. He typed instead, Hi Lis. But with a second glance he shook his head and erased it."Hi" gave her too much power. He paused and through down his phone, taking a long sip of his drink to finish it up.

Thirty seconds to midnight.

His head flew down into his hands on the bar.

Twenty seconds.

Alex looked up to order another drink, but the bartender was watching the countdown excitedly with a handsome guy at the end of the bar. Fuck it.

Ten seconds.

Alex looked at the clock as everyone began verbalizing the numbers allowed.

"Ten!'

He was done. In a swift motion he stood up and made his way through the large crowd of people through the doors.

"Nine!"

"Eight!"

"Seven!"

"Six!"

"Five!"

"Four!"

"Three!"

Alex turned around to look at the clock, his heart at the bottom of his chest. He didn't like this feeling. This inevitable grasp of loneliness was something he was unaccustomed to.

"Two!"

Suddenly his eyes caught unto the girl he'd noticed before with the blue dress and long hair, but now a determined look was in her eyes. And they were looking right at him.

"One!"

Before Alex could grasp the situation, the girl in the blue dress had walked up to him, grabbed his collar, and pulled his lips to hers. Alex was in shock. But soon the world felt like it was moving in slow motion as he gripped her hips and pulled her closer to him, their tongues colliding as her hands moved to his neck.

Cheers of "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" filled the room, but Alex was a little busy. All he could think was that this was the most amazing girl he'd ever seen in his entire life.

It was her that broke the kiss, letting go of his collar and stepping away from him, an awkward but honest smile on her lips, almost like she was sorry or had no idea what she had just done. Alex stood their stunned as she turned to walk away into the crowd of people.

"WAIT!" Alex shouted as she disappeared, stepping away from the wall they had just kissed on and moved towards the crowd. He had to find her.

But it was no use. The crowd was growing larger, and her blue dress had gone completely out of sight. And again, Alex felt alone.

Not as alone as before though. Slowly he brought his hands to his lips, the feeling of hers still lingering there.

It was the kiss that started it all.