Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

I strolled over to my iHome, finding my favorite Lana Del Rey song and turning up the volume. My apartment was a mess, so the only way to clean was to listen to the best songs. All of a sudden, my little apartment turned into a giant stage and I was the opening act. I sang and danced around, not caring that I probably looked entirely ridiculous. No one could see me, so I could do whatever I wanted.

"I'm so hot. I ignite, dancing in the dark and I shine like the light I'm luring you. Sneak up on you, really quiet. Whisper 'am I what your heart desires?' I could be your ingenue.." I sang along, letting my body roll with the beat while I picked up some outdated magazines and brought them to the recycling.

It had been a few weeks since Tom had confessed his love for me. The day after he did so, much to my dismay, he had to leave for Detroit again. He had then spent a couple days off in London visiting family, and he was currently in Germany shooting the rest of the movie. I missed him, as expected, and I was growing restless waiting for him to come back. He didn't want to tell me when he was coming back. The annoying fuck wanted to keep me waiting in utter agony.

I tried my best to continue my life as normal. I worked out every day, ate like a rabbit, and hung out with Jenny and Nazia. I stopped and checked my phone, seeing nothing. My heart sank. Tom's arrival had to be close. Or maybe it was weeks off. I had no idea and it was killing me. "Sweet serial killer, I love you just a little too much," Lana sang. I shuddered. This song was all too appropriate. I sauntered back to the iHome, changing it to "What Would You Do" by Bastille. Much better.

I walked into my room and started stripping the bed, letting my mind wander to the many long Skype calls Tom and I had shared. One that kept replaying in my mind was when Tom had started talking about what he wanted from a relationship. He admitted that he'd made a promise to himself that he'd never date an actress, and I smiled to myself. "Grace, you transfix me. I don't understand, but I don't care. You're worth the trouble that it'll take for us to keep this a private relationship."

I grabbed a fresh pair of sheets and began dressing the bed with them, thinking to his spiel on seriousness. He wanted a serious relationship. He reminded me that he understood I was young, and that I might not want that, but I assured him I did. I know it seemed crazy to have a serious relationship at only twenty years old, but it felt right. I bit my lip, imagining settling down with him. It would be far off, if it worked out, but it was a possibility. It filled me with ideas and emotions I'd never felt before. They were surely welcome emotions, though.

"I have a good feeling about us." His words sent me reeling. I hadn't realized that I was standing absentmindedly until my phone vibrated in my pocket. I fished it out and entered my passcode, reading a new text from Tom.

Hillstone. 7:00. He followed it with an address in Santa Monica. He was back! And we had a dinner date. Our first date.

--

After a twenty minute drive in my trusty Explorer, I stepped hastily out of the car and admired the beach not far off in the distance. The sun was setting, leaving the sky in a beautiful shade of pink. The fresh air caressed my cheeks and I could smell the clean and crispness of the Pacific Ocean. I tugged at my shoulder length brown hair and pushed at my side bangs nervously.

From the outside, the restaurant looked chic. It had large glass windows with blinds to keep the dining private complemented by tan brick lined evenly. When I walked inside, I immediately felt comforted by the dim lighting and soft music in the background. The hostess smiled brightly at me as if she knew me. "Grace?"

I was confused. Maybe she did know me, and I found myself searching my brain for where I could've met her. "Yes," I answered hesitantly. "I'm sorry, have we met?"

She laughed. "No, your boyfriend described you to me and I took a lucky guess."

Boyfriend. The nerves came rushing back at the mention of the word. This was real. This was actually happening. I glanced around the admittedly upscale restaurant and was thankful that Jenny had advised me on my outfit. Being friends with an employee of W Magazine had its perks, since I wasn't exactly fashion inclined.

"Follow me," She motioned me towards her and took to a flight of stairs. I hadn't realized how big this place actually was. I marveled at the happy patrons enjoying their food. The hostess led me farther and farther into the restaurant, and finally to a booth in a secluded corner. I saw Tom reading the menu thoughtfully while resting his hand over his mouth. He looked to die for, dressed in a black sportcoat and light blue button-up. My breath hitched in my throat when he turned his head to look at me.

"Enjoy your meal," The hostess quickly disappeared and Tom slid out from the booth, suddenly towering over me in his six feet of glory.

"Hello, darling," He whispered, his voice low. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you," I mumbled. He pulled me into a tight hug, kissing my cheek before taking my hand in his. I sat across from where he had been and he sat down in sync with me, not letting go of my hand.

A waiter came quickly and poured me a glass of white wine and I shot a look at Tom, knowing that he had ordered it. He said nothing of the fact that the waiter was serving alcohol to a technical minor, and I figured that he had forgotten. I had always gotten that I was mature for my age, and alcohol had been a loose subject in my family. They were sort of European in the way that they had always kept it around in an effort to avoid having their children go crazy when they could.

He brought his eyes to mine and smirked. "What?"

"Oh nothing," I giggled, bringing the beautiful Waterford crystal glass to my lips elegantly. His eyes widened and the thoughts finally registered.

"I'm so sorry! I completely forgot," He said.

"Oh don't worry, men buy me alcohol all the time," I teased. He narrowed his eyes at me and I got chills. His protectiveness was certainly an unexpected turn-on.

"I've missed you," I blurted.

"And I you," He replied. We ordered our food and he told me all about his adventures in Germany. I was jealous that he had gotten to spend time in such a wonderful country. After having taken German in high school, it had earned a soft spot in my heart. I told him about my mundane activities, but he showed interest nonetheless. He was a wonderful listener.

After a perfect meal, we left the restaurant hand in hand. The great part about what little light they allowed was the assurance that no one would recognize him. We walked leisurely to the beach, which was only one block away. I breathed in the salty air, feeling completely at peace. "Tom, thank you for tonight. It was lovely."

He smiled down at me. "It was lovely, wasn't it?" He said, more of a statement than a question.

I leaned into him as we watched the waves rolling in and out repeatedly. It was a comfortable, lulling rhythm. "Sweetheart, please don't fall asleep. You're sort of my ride home," He admitted.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Who says I'm going to give you a ride?"

He laughed and leaned in closely to me. I could feel his breath against my lips as he stared into my eyes. "Oh, I think you will."

He pulled away and began walking in the direction of the restaurant again. I whined inwardly, watching his tall and lean figure walking off, his black pants wavering in the wind. I quickly got up, running to catch up to him. "Tease."

In no time, we were back at my car. He gazed at it, and I could tell he wasn't happy. "You call that contraption a car?"

I gasped. "Don't speak that way about Dora! She's my first love!"

I ran up to the big black SUV, hugging her. "He doesn't mean it," I said reassuringly. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I joked around with Tom. He grinned widely at me, walking around to the passenger side and getting in. I followed suit, plugging in my iPod and starting her, enjoying the roar of the engine.

"You named your car? Why Dora?" He questioned.

"She's Dora the Explorer, duh!" I admonished him. He burst out laughing, and I glared. The great part about being an actors was that we could both pretend to be completely serious about our joking around.

"I'm sorry, that is too good. You are adorable," He murmured, reaching over and tucking my hair behind my ear. I hadn't shifted into drive yet. I was waiting to see if he was going to do it. I looked over at him, focusing between his eyes and his lips. I was fighting with myself over whether I wanted to do it myself. I leaned in and he immediately responded, reaching over and uniting us at the lips. It was like all of the first date, new relationship stress melted away. We were where we were meant to be. Nothing had ever made so much sense to me than being connected to him in this way.

He pulled away slowly and tenderly, biting his lip and staring intently into my eyes. "I love you," He whispered.

Tingles ran through my body and a grin broke out onto my face. "I love you too."