Secrets

“I called him.” Brendon states casually.

I had called Brendon over Skype so I could talk with him and the twins. Maddie had tried to give me a hug and it was so cute. Mary had just taken them to bed so it was just me and Brendon talking now.

“You what?” I ask, stunned.

“I called Harry.”

“Why?” I say, trying to blink the tears out of my eyes.

“He has a right to know that you are safe. I would want to know that too if our positions were switched. And he sounded like a total wreck Molly. He kept rambling after I told him who I was. I had to tell him to breathe so he wouldn’t hyperventilate.”

“But how could you? I didn’t want him knowing I was in London. He is probably on a plane here now. I can’t see him now Brendon.” The tears stream down my face as the sobs begin.

“Molly, the only thing I told him was that you weren’t here with me. I didn’t tell him that you were in London. I knew you wouldn’t want to see him so soon Molly. I know you need time to pull yourself together.”

I let out a sigh of relief and wipe away the tears. “Don’t freak me out like that Brendon. You made me think he was coming. If I was there I would so smack you right now.” We both laugh.

“Well Molly, I am taking Mary and the twins out for dinner so we have to go get ready. If you need me, call me. Bye.”

“Bye.” We sign off of Skype and I close my laptop. I glance around my tidy flat… I mean apartment. Darn you Alicia, starting to rub the British lingo on me. There was nothing for me to do. So I tried to think of something to do when I remembered I haven’t done a twit cam in a long time. I get it set up and start it.

“HELLO LOVES! Sorry I haven’t done one of these in so long. I have been so busy. So what have you all been up to?” I see responses start flying up there. Many of them are welcoming me back and one even asks where Alicia is. “Alicia is at work. Otherwise she would be hogging the camera.” I laugh and see that many of the watchers agree with me. I go and talk with them for almost an hour and then I realize the main reason why I wanted to do one of these. “Alright guys. I have to get off in a little bit because Alicia will be home and I have to fix dinner because she has no idea how to cook.” That gets a few replies. “But anyway, I wanted to do one of these because in the past couple of months I have learned how to play the guitar so I am going to do a cover of one of the songs I have listened to a lot lately.” I walk over and grab my guitar. I strum a couple of cords then start singing.

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up, and I know why
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses, and I left them there to die

[Chorus]
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time

These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, and I didn't call
Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days
When fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/taylor_swift/back_to_december.html ]
[Chorus]
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

This is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time, all the time

“Well thank you guys for listening to this and I just want to dedicate this song to a very special person. If he is watching he knows this is for him. Bye everyone.” I log off and see the comments on the great job I did. I go out to our kitchen and start fixing dinner wondering if Harry saw that.